NOBODY NOSE WHEN THE WORLD WILL END

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I was lying in bed last night watching the news about the hurricane and talking to my brother who lives in New Jersey. It’s amazing how powerful Mother Nature can be. Watching the storm it looked like the world was ending. When Mother Nature gets pissed she can totally fuck us up, you see it all the time with tornado’s, earthquakes, tsunami’s and such.

This got me thinking about a movie I recently watched named LOOKING FOR A FRIEND FOR THE END OF THE WORLD, which is about a guy and a woman who fall in love in time to die together when a huge asteroid hits the earth. It was okay but Lexie hated it. The guy is played by Steve Carrell and the woman is played by Keira Knightly (who is incredibly beautiful).

This got me thinking about noses. I think noses are the most unattractive feature we have. All other features have some attractive qualities except noses. Even women’s assholes are sexy but noses just aren’t. I have sucked on my wife’s tits, vagussy, ears, neck, toes, everything but I have never sucked on her nose and I don’t plan to, it would just be weird.

Come to think of it the only creature that has a good looking nose is elephants. Their noses are cool and they use them to eat with and they even hold noses with their girlfriends when they walk. If I was an elephant I would consider sucking my girlfriend’s nose. But first I would nibble on her big ears.

So have you ever sucked on someone’s nose?

118 thoughts on “NOBODY NOSE WHEN THE WORLD WILL END”

  1. My God, where did that come from??? NO. I would never suck on someone’s nose. Talk about the epicenter of germs!! Although your right, elephant noses are cute . Tell Lexie I can’t stand Steve Carrell. I thought the 40 Year old Virgin was stupid, but that’s just me! Hope your brother is ok. :)

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  3. LOL! I Love your crazy, random thought process, and that you share it with us! Thanks, RM, for adding some humor to my crazy morning :)

    I hope those affected by Sandy are staying safe! And no, no nose sucking for me. In fact, the idea sets of the old gag reflex :P

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  4. Remy, what does it say about me and my psyche that I always find your random thought patterns completely logical? ;)

    You know how there are people out there with crazy fetishes that we (as “normal” people) would never imagine exists in a million billion years? I bet there are people out there with nose fetishes who like to tongue their lovers’ nostrils. How’s THAT for imagery?! You’re welcome. LMFAO

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  5. I would not suck on anyone’s nose or toes….

    You were right when you said you had a blog post about stupid stuff! Must not be a lot going on with you!

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  7. Rubbing noses is good. As long as they’re not running of course. Personally, I like men who have nice size ones…noses that is. An Aquiline nose is what romance books call them. Just a hang up of mine. My hubby has a nice one. But I would never French kiss or suck on one. Yuck.

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  10. You’re not kidding about Mother Nature. We had a tornado nail our tiny town 2 years ago this past June. Thankfully it wasn’t fully on the ground when the little bastard decided to go through my neighborhood. Only did about $20,000 worth of damage to my house, yard, & car. By the way, did you that liability insurance on vehicles covers acts of God, just not glass damage? Yeah, I was pissed cuz my van’s windshield got scored by a tree & it wasn’t covered.

    As for noses, I’ve never given them much thought except when I see someone with a piercing there with the post showing out of their nostril. Now that’s nasty & tacky. Surely there’s a way to make them smaller or hide that shit. Imagine sucking on that. I’ve had my tongue pierced for 12 years & my husband loves it.

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    • Small nose studs can be cute and they don’t have to show…I actually think noses can be cute, but they aren’t an erogenous zone (eyes are cute, too, but I don’t want to suck them, not a zombie!).

      My wife would probably like it if I got my tongue pierced but would never work, I get nasty sores when my mouth gets scratched, and I also don’t think they would appreciate it at work, so she is SOL (actually, as much fun as she might have with it, she would go ballistic on me if I did that, doesn’t like the idea of the unemployment line!). On the other hand, there are other nameless places she teases me about getting ploinked in, but I won’t go there (not so sure she is teasing *ouch*)

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  12. I find this very interesting because I have often thought about the human face and why we have things where we have them. I am actually quite happy that we have noses that stick out from our face. If we just had like two holes, that would be really creepy (and could possibly drown during a rain shower), or what if we had noses that look like ears or something? But no, I in no way, find the nose a sexy thing to suck or kiss. What about eyebrows? What’s up with that? I like ‘em, but really, what’s the point?

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  13. Lol RM I would never suck someone nose, but I use to have a boy friend who would bite my nose. He didn’t stay my boy friend for long. I don’t like Steve Carell either he’s right up there with Will Farrell. I am glad your brother is okay. Elephants noses are way cute. I love the way you process things makes me laugh.

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  16. I was laying in bed watching the hurricane coverage wondering if that one guy was going to get washed out to sea. Why did they make him stand out there while Anderson Cooper and the other chatted it up? A quick, the-water-is-up-to-my thighs shot would have been enough to get the point across.

    Nope, never sucked on a nose (or toes for that matter– feet freak me out). Look up the Proboscis monkey. Now that’s a schnoz.

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  17. The Dh likes to the kiss the end of my nose but I would slug him if he tried to suck it. We do rub noses when its cold. Glad to hear your brother is ok.

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  18. Sucking someone’s nose does not sound enticing. Sucking on my nose would not prove good for my husband’s health. I HATE people touching my nose. Absolutely hate it.

    So glad your bro is okay. These natural disasters are beyond scary.

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  19. There are a lot of suckable parts on a human body. But I agree RM, besides the mouth, the suckable parts of the face are limited. I think it’s more the shape of the nose that makes this act difficult. What part would you suck? The bridge is unreachable. The tip is too small. It would be like sucking on a breath mint. And the nostrils, Well that’s just as awkward as licking someone’s forehead. So the nose needs to stay where it belongs, buried in the curve of someone else’s neck. Oh and I didn’t see the movie but I love Steve Carell. Good Post :)

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  21. Oh, and to keep everyone current, I received a text from Diane a couple hours ago, and they still have no power, and no idea when it’s coming on.

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  22. LOL! Where do you come up with this stuff. The only person I have seen suck a nose is a baby. For some reason they their mouths are drawn to that part of the body. I don’t think I would suck a nose. That’s kinda gross.

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  23. I’m very happy to hear that your brother weathered the storm. :)

    Strange that you had this post right after I read a story about the heroine’s nose being an amorous part of her body on this one planet where women were tethered to their Masters. The Masters would jerk off by rubbing their man parts across or on the woman’s nose if it was prominent enough. If anyone is interested, the book is by Cheryl Brooks called “Slave”. It is one of her Cat Star Chronicles.

    Meanwhile I just went “ewwww”. So I’m thinking that’s a “NO” for me. No sucking and rubbing it now brings that visual to mind so, no rubbing it either. :P

    Still thanks for the laughs! I think I needed it with the whole Sandy chaos and tsunami and possibly volcanic eruption.

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    • I love Cheryl Brooks and The Cat Star Chronicle series and have read ALL of them. Her h/h; alien secondary characters and sense of humor appeal to me. While I really like the whole series, my favorites so far are Fugitive and Wildcat. For anybody who hasn’t read her books, I classify them as sci-fi romance with a HEA and are character driven.

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  24. I’m glad your brother is okay. What’s happening on the east coast is just horrible. Given a choice, I’d rather have an earthquake…..I think. Not more than a 5 pointer though. Anything more can get destructive. I hope your brother is on the higher ground……

    About the nose thingy: the only cute nose is a baby’s nose and then it’s fun to tweak and pretend to bite. No sucking……

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  25. Kissing the tip of a nose maybe, but sucking…NO Way!!
    I love your train of thoughts RM. I can’t always follow them, but they always make me smile.

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  26. For a long time, I have told the people around me (those who will still listen) that God is Love and Nature is The Rules. God embraces your soul and lifts it into paradise whenever you fuck up and break Mother Nature’s rules, because Mother Nature will kill you. She is a cold blooded psycho-killer with no remorse. Your meager flesh is just food for the rest of her minions. When Mother Nature throws something at you, just get… the fuck…out of the way! ASAP!
    On noses, no I would not suck one. But there are many other appendages of the human (male) body that I find pleasurable. (hey, I didn’t get to be a grandma by holding back)

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  27. i have kissed and rubbed noses. i’ve even cleaned out booger noses because we had company and its was sort of unappealing, ya know? sometimes I swear my kids were purposely cultivating them, or their noses had been taken over by aliens bent on colonizing their snouts. but i have no interest in checking out closely anyone’s butthole, okay? evah. sheesh. btw i thought of you when they were rescuing the people stranded at sea in that old frigate.

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  28. I had a bad day and headed straight here to get a good laugh and got exactly what I knew I would. Thanks for your Deep Thoughts RM. You always make me smile. :)

    So thankful your brother is safe. Sandy was a Bitch!

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  29. What about anteaters’ noses? They are long too! Glad your brother is okay, that was scary!

    I first saw Steve Carrell in Little Miss Sunshine, and fell in love with him! Don’t care much for Will Ferrell.

    RM, you really need to pick up a good book !!

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  30. btw, a good movie to see with Steve Carrell is Crazy, Stupid Love and the Date Night one with Tina Fey (which is verra funny) -CSLove has a good twist and a bit poignant but not hysterical.

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  31. My mother told me the other day that when her kids were small she heard some other kids would shove peas in their noses – presumably to keep from eating them (the peas). The kids would forget about them, and the peas would sprout inside their nasal passages! EEEEWWW!

    The Inuit rub noses as an equivalent to a kiss. I also think they do it because if they opened their mouths to kiss they would stick together like if they licked a fence.

    Also, a PSA for you: If your nose runs, and your feet smell, you are made upside down. Your welcome.

    Hmmmm, I think RMs random thought processes are contagious. What meds do you take to stop this? Anyone?

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  32. BTW, I laugh hysterically watching Bruce Almighty when Steve Carell tries to do his news broadcast and Bruce screws with him. Pee myself every time.

    Also loved Little Miss Sunshine. Loved that movie.

    Will Ferrell annoys the shit out of me.

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  33. What a great blog post to kick off the morning with an LOL moment. I have no idea what it says about me that I can actually make sense of your thinking pattern.

    Glad you’re able to contact your brother and he’s okay. I’ve seen a lot of pictures on the net, some of them are enhanced but the ones that are not are sad. Such devastation.

    No sucking noses, it’s just so wrong on so many levels.

    I can twitch my nose like Bewitched. Everyone is gifted with something, I guess that’s mine. :)

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  34. Um… No. but Hubby squeezed my nose once and it left a hickey on it, so of course, everyone thought he sucked on my nose. He’s also managed to leave a hickey on my eye lid when I was 15. (And no, it was nothing sexual.) LOL. I, too, have a cute nose Kindle Gal!

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  35. I guess the consensus is nose-sucking is gross, and I’d have to agree. But hey, as far as germs go, the mouth beats the nose by far. Just sayin. I don’t suck toes or fingers, either. I guess I’d be considered very mundane in the sucking department, I only do the usual.

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  36. Just got electricity back at our house after Superstorm Sandy (I’m in s.e. Pennsylvania and had some wind damage and a tree go down on the shed) and first thing, I headed for the internet. And found RM’s nose. You really are weird. But can you touch your nose with your tongue?

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  38. My grandson can stick his tongue in his nose, duz that count? Yeah he is disgusting but he’s 7 and a boy. I don’t remeber the nose thing in Slave, have to go back and reread it, any excuse will do. And I love Steve and hate Will also! In high school the homecoming queen stuck M&M’s up her nose during lunch. Don’t know why. They began to melt about ahalf hour later, would make nose sucking tastier I guess.

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  40. I claim this storm was so bad because they just had to go an use one of those freaky names that can be used by a boy or a girl, and storms don’t like being hermaphroditic in the least bit (if they had named it Taylor it might even have been strong enough to clean out the Gowanus Canal in Brooklyn), so it was pissed!

    Seriously, I have never seen anything like this and every moment I see new images of destruction, places I know very well that now look like the closing scenes in “Planet of the Apes” when he figures out he was where NYC once was………the Jersey Shore has been decimated (another pet theory was the storm had had enough of “Jersey Shore” and was looking to lay waste to Snooki, Pauley D and the rest of those mutants) and it is very hard to describe how bad NYC has been hit.

    Also made me count my blessings, we ended up coming through relatively unscathed, but the area around me is a mess here in Northern NJ. We got power back in 16 hours or so (we lost it 9 monday night), a branch took out a connection up the block and a survey truck fixed it in 10 minutes….others aren’t so lucky, at the peak almost 90% of the people on my power company didn’t have power, and even now it is probably not much less then 65%. All I have to deal with fortunately is yard cleanup and fixing a screen house thing I have, that was it. I have to admit it was pretty scary, I had managed to get a small generator, I had stocked up more then a bit of gasoline, and if I had to I probably could have wired it to run my heat…..the winds that night sounded like the furies of hell were out, and it was like they would never end……and you sit there and think what happens down the road, when will it return to normal, if ever when you are sitting in a cold house,hoping what you stocked up will last long enough until something normal comes back. I am back in my nice warm house now, but a lot of other people, millions of them, aren’t, and everything is just totally disrupted, there isn’t really any normal right now. Anything that is open is seeing mobs of people, few gas stations are open (none in my area) are rationing service, and it isn’t hard to imagine it never returning to normal (it will, but who says fears are rational?).

    On the other hand, my local pizzeria and Chinese take out place are doing land office business, they are really great people and I am glad for them, but I see the mobs of people getting food there and I realize they likely don’t have heat on nights when the temperature is getting cold and facing a week or more of that, it really hurts. I suspect there is a lot more grimness to follow, I am hearing stories of bravery (steamfitter was working in the basement of a NYC cop station in Rockaway, Queens, trying to shut the steam pipe down, and literally was drowning in the basement after seawater flooded it, was caught, and a brave cop and another steamfitter risked their own lives to save his), but then you read the not so lucky stories, the tragedies and so forth….

    I guess the best way to put my feelings is there but for the grace of God go I, literally.

    Funny, too, how someone who normally drives you nuts can rise above the bullshit. I don’t particularly like the governor of NJ, Chris Christie, but he has done one hell of a job with what is going on, they planned well and they are literally doing everything they can now to try and make it work. He has earned the Ire of more then a few in his party because he thanked Obama for the help of the federal government and has really risen above things, and deserves kudos.

    All I can add is as hard as things are at times, there are always blessings to count and maybe I’ll appreciate the little things I have, a family that is safe and healthy, a house that is warm and has food in it, and will remember not to whine so much when I am doing the leaves, fixing a broken toilet or working long days because it still is a blessing in disguise compared to the alternatives:).

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    • NJBill – so true. I am often awed by how Mother Nature reminds us we are nothing compared to her will.

      Thankful my kids could be kids tonight, and that the power came on in time to have Trick or Treat, thankful I don’t need a chainsaw to move any of the fallen branches, and thankful that the worst that happened to any of my family and friends is my inlaws above ground pool being crushed by a tree.
      NJBill you always help put things in perspective for me – thank you

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      • This storm reminds me of something I wrote a long time ago, it was an essay about having been on the top of the north tower of the world trade center many years ago (I was 17, it was that long ago) and saw grass growing there, and saw it as the power of nature that grass could grow up there with a tiny bit of whatever dirt and dust there was, and also saw it as a kind of warning that nature is still stronger then the things we build…..in the summer of 2000 I was up on the wtc with my son and wife on the observation area on the south tower and got pictures of the grass growing there…..obviously the WTC was an act of man, not nature, but it does point out that nature will be around a lot longer than mankind prob will be….

        I was also thinking of the energy that storm unleashed, can you imagine if we could somehow figure out a way to tap the energy out of storms and such, which would a)lessen the affects of the storm and b)generate a shitload of power?

        On the other hand, there are the NY Jets, who have no energy, no power and don’t install fear and awe at all.

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  43. Eskimo kisses = win. Sucking my nose? Hell no. I would be weirded out and probably repulsed. Not my thang, yo.
    The storms this past year have been horrific up here in the North. Tornado’s, Hurricanes, freak snowstorms in October… Mother Nature is beautiful and deadly, for sure.
    Glad your brother is alright.

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