My life has become so weird. Ever since I started this blog I have so many new friends in my life and they are all women. I never thought about this much until Kate mentioned it in a comment the other day but I am very lucky. How many women would let their husbands do what I am doing? Not many I bet. Lexie knows I am lucky to have her so it doesn’t bother her but more importantly I know I am lucky to have her.
The weird thing about being a blogger is you sit in your house and write something – then you press one button and it is broadcast all over the world. Most of my readers are Americans but you know what country I have the second most readers in? South Korea. Isn’t that weird? Why South Korea? Third and fourth is the UK and Australia. Malta is last with a few readers that I am sure came to my blog through Lucie.
As far as states go California is number one. I wonder if any celebrities read my blog. I wonder if Angelina Jolie reads my blog. Hi Angelina *waves*. I loved you in WANTED. My favorite scene is the sauna scene when you get out of the tub naked. I paused the DVR at that scene for fifteen minutes – ok two minutes but you get the idea. I have to ask you a question though. Billy Bob Thornton? WTF? Ok never mind it’s none of my business. I have also noticed something that no one else seems to have noticed. I don’t think all of your kids are Brad’s because some of them are black. Don’t worry he hasn’t noticed so your secret is safe with me. If you ever want to write reviews for me let me know and I will think about it. Maybe you could submit some samples first.
I wonder if Kate Middleton reads my blog. That would be cool because she is a princess and she is beautiful. Hey Kate! I just want you to know that posting those pictures of you topless was a total invasion of your privacy and I did not look at them at all hardly. Do you like being a princess? How come everyone referred to your husband’s mother as Princess Diana but they refer to you as Kate? Shouldn’t you be Princess Kate? And what kind of name is Pippa? It sounds like when your mom was giving birth and someone asked what she wanted to name the baby she struggled to ask for a piece of paper and the name stuck. Can I ask you another question? Does the Queen let you drive around in that little car? Wait, never mind I think that’s the Pope. Do you have a hat like the Pope’s hat? One more question. What the fuck is up with Prince Harry? And I am not talking about learning the hard way that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas, I am talking about the fact that he doesn’t look like anyone else in the family. Does anyone know where Danny Bonduce was when Harry was conceived? I’m sorry that is personal never mind.
I wonder if any women in Iran or Saudi Arabia can read my blog. If so – Ladies, I wish I could come get you and bring here. Don’t give up Dickheadism can’t last forever.
I wonder if Nicholas Sparks reads my blog. Hey Nick! Can I call you Nick? Do me a favor will you? Get off your fucking high horse your books aren’t that good. The Notebook sucked. It is easy to make people cry, that doesn’t take much talent. It is much harder to make people smile so stop acting like you’re Ernest Hemingway and try writing a book that doesn’t follow the same fucking formula every time. Yeah I know you are rich and successful and I am nobody but you know what? There are strippers and hookers who are more successful than me so that is not a big accomplishment.
I wonder if Kirsten Stewart Reads my blog. Hey Bella! Can you do me a favor? Please stop acting like you are some misunderstood tortured artist. You starred in fucking Twilight where your love choices were a dog and a bedazzled vampire. You’re not Elizabeth Taylor so calm the fuck down. That being said if I was the type of person to cheat on his wife, which I am not, I would totally call you.
So how many women do you think would let their husbands do what I do?