Dr. Laura Berman is a person who apparently is an expert on relationships and romance and is giving us advice on how to have a better sex life in thirty days. Here is the link http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health-pictures/30-days-to-better-sex-week-one-get-off-the-couch.aspx#/slide-1 if you want to read the whole thing but I would like to touch on some of the of the things she talks about.
Find more joy in your daily life by unleashing your inner kid. Instead of making the typical chicken and veggies for dinner, use your imagination and make dinner a little out-of-the-box. You can do so by preparing a new cuisine, or even better, just let your inner kid pick the meal. Make ice-cream sundaes for dinner, complete with sprinkles, whipped cream, and hot fudge — and feed each other to up the sex appeal and make the occasion sensual. And forget the boring dining room: Get comfortable in the living room and spread a blanket on the floor. Come up with crazy combinations and try each other’s creations. Sometimes little things like this are the best way to get out of a rut and reconnect with your partner in a fun, sensual way.
First, my inner kid wants to go ring doorbells and run not have sex. Second, in what way is this sexy or romantic? I have gone through the Dairy Queen drive through many times and not once have I gotten a boner – ok once but I was 16 and the chick at the window was hot and was eating a cherry. Come up with crazy combinations? Like what? Oh honey try this crazy combination of vanilla ice cream with a cheerio on top. Is it good? Do you want to suck my dick now? No? Why? Don’t you see we are on a blanket on the floor?
Spend Time With His Friends
Okay, so the thought of a bunch of guys in your living room might not be appealing, but it’s important to stay connected with the friends whom your partner holds near and dear to his heart. It’s a good way to make sure that you are on the same page and that you share common ground outside of your relationship. Plus, he will love to see you making an effort to include his friends in your life. So, invite his buddies over for a backyard barbecue and get to know more about your partner’s crazy college days, or go on a double date with his best bud and his wife or partner. He will repay the favor when it’s your turn to have the girls over, and it will give you a chance to see another side of him. You might find out that he is the group’s go-to guy for career advice or that he is a good listener when his buddies are in trouble. Who knows?
Ok this advice is beyond bad. Are you fucking kidding me? You expect my wife to spend time with my friends? First, when I am with my friends I want to talk about shit I don’t want my wife to hear. Second, I wouldn’t subject my wife to the endless stupidity of what we talk about. You think your spouse wants to know about your crazy college days and all of the women you fucked? Yeah that will really strengthen the relationship. While your at it go ahead and critique her body and all her flaws and tell her how she doesn’t measure up to the hot women you were with in college. Dumb. Ass. Idea.
“He will repay the favor when it’s your chance to have the girls over”. Are you out of your fucking mind? Let me tell you something Dr. Berman when the girls come over I get the fuck out of dodge. There is no way in hell I want to listen to the things they have to talk about. You want better advice? Give your spouse some alone time with her girlfriends and let your husband be with his friends. It will do you both some good. Goddam it must be easy to become a doctor these days.
Dump Your Withholds
Sometimes people think that it’s best to avoid fighting at all costs. As a result, they keep their thoughts tucked away deep inside so that their partner doesn’t get upset or so that an argument doesn’t break out. However, withholding your true emotions can actually backfire and lead to bigger (and more serious) fights in the long run. Your partner will be able to pick up on your negative energy and tension, and more importantly, you will be unable to be present and happy in your relationship. This is why dumping your withholds can actually be the best thing, even if it does come with the risk of a minor fracas. Be frank and open in the moment instead of letting things fester, and ask your partner to do the same. Wipe that slate clean rather than allowing resentments to pile up — all that baggage will get hard to carry after a while.
I actually agree with this. I think fighting is theraputic because unresolved conflict leads to bad feelings.
When was the last time you and your partner connected in a physical way? Outside of the bedroom, that is! Breaking a sweat might not sound sexy, but the truth is that physical activity can improve your circulation, up your endorphins, and, of course, burn calories. Challenge your partner to a race around the block, or have a rough-and-tumble game of tag in the backyard. If that’s not your style, don’t worry. There are plenty of other activities that couples can enjoy together. You could take a tandem bike ride or play Frisbee in the park. Or you could take a hike and bring a picnic to enjoy with Mother Nature. Just remember, physical health and sexual health go hand-in-hand, so if you want to improve your sex life, you should start by getting more exercise and staying fit.
“Challenge your partner to a race around the block”. This is awful advice. My wife doesn’t know CPR so our race is going to end up in the neighbors yard with everyone watching me die. Thanks Doc.
“Have a rough and tumble game of tag in the back yard”. First of all people in their forties playing tag look really stupid. Second by saying rough and tumble you suggest I be rough with my wife. What does this mean? When I am “it” I fucking closeline her and drop her to the ground? Should I punch her too? Or should I just say “Honey you’re it” and tackle her”?
In long-term relationships, it is easy for fun to go out the window. Suddenly, everything becomes about the kids, the bills, and all the responsibility and work it takes to keep a family together. However, it’s still important to make time for play in your daily lives. Challenge your partner to a water-gun fight in the backyard or play a game of hide ’n’ seek around the house. You can also make your games R-rated — maybe some strip Monopoly or a match of Twister while you wear nothing but your lingerie. The idea is just to find more fun in your daily life, whatever that might mean for you and your partner.
I cannot tell you what an idiot I would feel like playing hide and seek with my wife. This is so stupid I cannot even comment, plus my wife always hides in the shower.
Ok twister is an extremely painful game for older people with no flexibility so this is a bad idea. Plus I always end up with my nose in someone’s ass.
Go on a Surrender Date
Many women have a hard time letting go of control in the bedroom because they are so used to going a million miles an hour. Multitasking makes you a great mother, wife, and corporate maven, but it can also make it hard for you to let go and let loose in the bedroom.
Learn how to let go of control and enjoy yourself by trying out a surrender date. On a surrender date, your partner is in charge of everything. He picks your outfit, your accessories, the restaurant, the route to the restaurant, and even your lingerie. It might feel a little strange (and even upsetting at first) to let go of the control, but by doing so you might find that it is much easier to simply sit back and enjoy yourself…especially when it comes to enjoying yourself in the bedroom!
Did you just tell me to pick out my wife’s outfit and accessories? I can’t even dress myself let alone my wife. You know how stupid she would look if I dressed her? Everyone at Golden Corral would laugh at her.
Make a Fantasy Box
One way to ensure that your sex life stays spicy is to share your fantasies with each other. You can do so with a fantasy box. Write your fantasies on slips of paper, fold them up, and put them into a box. Whenever your sex life becomes a little too routine or predictable, pluck a slip of paper from the box — just like drawing a raffle ticket.
Whatever fantasy you pull out, you have to act it out to the best of your ability. Not only is this ideal for sharing your fantasies without embarrassment — because it’s often easier to write down your secret wishes than to say them out loud — but it’s also a good way to keep your sex life passionate and unpredictable.
Ok what happens when I pull the paper out of the fantasy box and it says “I want to fuck your friend Bill while blowing your other friend Mike”. Yeah this is a really bad idea. Plus last time I tried to live out a fantasy I ended up with Sponge Bob band-aids on my balls and I was almost smothered by a vagussy..
Most of this has nothing to do with your sex life. Playing hide and seek with my wife has nothing to do with sex. Here is my advice and I will call it “sixty minutes to a better sex life”. Go get your wife, lead her to the bedtroom, undress her and don’t come out untill she has had three orgasms. You do that and I promise you your sex life will immediately get better.
So what do you think is the most romantic movie scene ever? For me it was when the terminator melted himself and said “It has da be dis way Sara Conna”.