We are finally getting settled in to the new house. It’s a nice house, my wife did a good job as usual. She makes all the decisions when it comes to this stuff. Every house we have ever built she picked out and designed and decorated. I have no interest in that stuff so she handles it all. She asks me my opinion on things and I tell her I don’t care but she makes me give her an answer and then she ignores me and does what she wants.
My new office is cool, I have a sofa in it so I can take a nap during the day. One bad thing about working out of the house is the kids will come in my office when I am working and just start talking to me so as a joke I put a sign on my door that says “no girls allowed”. My daughter took it down and replaced it with a sign that says “pretty girls only” now every one is allowed in my office except my sister in law.
The younger ones are back at school and although it is quiet I miss not having them home. It’s nice to get a hug in the middle of the day for no reason. They are an exception to my rule, they can hug me whenever they want. My oldest is still here, she doesn’t go back to college till the end of the month. She had a great summer. Her and some friends went to South Africa for three weeks and had a blast and now when when I ask her what she wants for Christmas she says “a South African man”. She worked hard to save her money so she could go. I am very proud of her because she is such a hard worker. She gets up at 4am every day and works at Typhoon Lagoon and then drives to the beach and gives surf lessons till 6pm. She is only twenty and has already been to Europe, Central America and now Africa. After saving so much money she was worried about spending it on a trip and thought maybe she should save it. I told her to spend it and go to South Africa. You’re only young once and there will be plenty of time to save later when life takes over but she may never get a chance to travel again.
I am glad she turned out to have such a good work ethic because we don’t teach that enough. We focus too much on education and not enough on work ethic. A good work ethic will always take you further than a diploma.
You know when apartheid ended and Nelson Mandela became president he had all of the white people who had committed atrocities come before a court and admit to what they had done – and then he let them go. He just wanted them to acknowledge their crimes. It is amazing to have that kind of forgiveness in you. I wish I was like that but I’m not, I do not forgive or forget and I hold a grudge forever. It is one of my many bad qualities.
You know those African women who put those rings around their neck and over the years it stretches their neck? I am worried about them. After time their neck muscles weaken and if the rings are removed their neck can’t support their head. I am worried that if they travel to America the TSA will make them remove those rings and their head will fall off.
I could never be gay. I am too violent with other men and I would be like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN STRIPES DON’T GO WITH PLAID?” and then I would punch him. My wife dresses me isn’t that pathetic? I am 42 years old and my wife has to tell me what to wear. It started a long time ago when I showed up somewhere and she was embarrassed by what I was wearing so now she puts my clothes out for me. The rules of fashion are too confusing to me because to me everything matches.
I want all of my girls to travel so they can see other cultures. The best education I ever received was traveling the world when I was in the Navy. I also want them to realize how good they have it. They get mad when the DVR doesn’t record one of their shows and there are kids who have to walk miles to get a drink of water.
When I was growing up we had three channels and the only show on was the fucking Brady Bunch. For those of you not from America I will give you a brief synopsis: It’s a story of a lovely lady who was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold, like their mother, the youngest one in curls. She meets a man named Brady who was busy with three boys of his own, they were four men, living all together, yet they were all alone. And they knew it was much more than a hunch, that this group would somehow form a family. That’s the way they all became the Brady Bunch.
They also had a maid named Alice and they made her wear a uniform and live in the fucking laundry room. She was fucking a butcher named Sam.
Anyway, I have a lot of catching up to do but I will see you soon.
So how many of you are singing the Brady Bunch song?