It’s 2 am and I can’t sleep again. I hate insomnia. My wife never has this problem and she is sleeping like a baby and she’s not all fucked up this time. That’s a stupid expression “sleeping like a baby” it should be “sleeping like a teenager” cause they sleep all the time.
Lexie is taking this writing thing seriously. She is constantly researching and asking advice. It’s interesting because you realize that all authors have a different approach and you also realize that they are all fucking crazy. Anyway Lexie asked me the other day to describe what it is like to give a woman oral sex. I said “are you asking me what vagussy tastes like?” She said “yes”. I said “it tastes like chicken”. She thought that was funny. I love when I can make her laugh but I always fuck it up because right after that I said “look the only way to know what it is like is to do it” that was as far as I got before she hit me.
You know what I don’t understand? Why do women have such better penmanship than men? Every woman I have ever known has had great penmanship and every man I have ever known writes like a five year old. What is it about the female brain that causes woman to have this ability to form their letters so perfectly? They are all the same size and every B looks like every other B and so on. When I write it’s all fucked about. None of my letters are the same size – every B looks different – some of my letters are tall and some are short and it’s just all discombobulated.
There have been so many times when my wife would dictate a grocery list to me and I would get to the store and couldn’t even understand what I wrote. My eight year old daughter writes ten times better than I do.
Another thing I suck at is filling out forms because I always misjudge the space I have. You know when you go to the doctor and you have to fill out the questionnaire? It will ask a question and then give you a space to write your answer. Well I always start out like I have plenty of room and then quickly realize I don’t so I have to adapt:
What is the reason for your visit today? Hard time breathing smothered by vagussy, vaguice all over my face.
And the people who write those forms intentionally fuck with us. They write questions like this:
Do you take any medications? _____________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Please give a quick summary of your medical history. ___ Are you allergic to any medications? ______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
You know what else I don’t understand? Why do we have so many fucking tanning salons in Florida? We live in the fucking Sunshine State for Christ sakes.
I am a beta reader for the first time ever. I won’t tell you who for because you know how I feel about name dropping but her name rhymes with Smoothie. Anyway I feel like any idiot doing this. It’s like me giving QB advice to Tom Brady. I am half way through the book and I haven’t found anything helpful to add. I feel like I should find at least one thing but I can’t. All of her letters are perfect and her story is great.
My wife was a beta reader for Kate and when she got done she asked me: “What am I suppose to tell Kate there isn’t anything wrong with the book”? I said to tell her that but she felt like she wasn’t helping and now that I am beta reading I know how she feels.
If I had been a beta reader on Wolf Tales Kate would have hated me because by page four I would’ve been like “STOP. Stop writing – you have a dude getting fucked by another dude with a dog dick, I quit”.
I got in an argument with a seven year old the other day – and lost. I went out to get the mail and the neighbor kid is riding his scooter and he has on a helmet, elbow pads, knee pads, gloves I mean it was ridiculous he looked like the Michelin Man. He stopped and said hi and I said hi and I asked him why he was wearing so much padding. I was prepared for a male bonding moment when he would say “aw, my mom makes me wear this shit but I hate it” and I would respond by saying “yeah, moms are crazy bitches aren’t they”. Well that didn’t happen, the little mother fucker started throwing statistics at me about how many kids each year get hurt on scooters. I said “when I was little we didn’t ever where any helmets” and he said “did you ever get hurt?” Ok I thought this is the moment we bond when I show him my scars so I said “yeah, I got hurt all the time” and he said “I have never been hurt” and scooted away. After he left I realized the flaw in my argument.
So what do you think? Do you think men should wear thongs?
Try a shot or two of bourbon.
I JUST asked about men wearing thongs on my Facebook page. “Ew” was the general consensus.
I agree
Thongs were awesome in Magic Mike, especially the fight scene. Okay so that made me giggle.
Male stripper are supposed to wear thongs. Real men are not.
Strippers have strap- ons? Whaaat?
I never even thought about strippers. I must discuss this development with my FB focus group.
Double ew … one for each cheek it splits.
Its okay to want that pint of Jim Beam. As long as you don’t follow up on it.
Yeah i know but you can hope
Eventually the craving will go away. Think of something else until then. Blow job?
Freaking Hysterical.
I see you’re channeling jack handy on antidepressants. If you want an imperfect book to beta read, I’ll send you the one of mine that comes out later this year. You can point out all kinds of junk.
That make you feel better?
LOL
But is the junk in a thong, Marquita?
Wow, that was everywhere. I don’t know where to start.
To answer the question if you want to where butt floss more power to you. I think that is a person question. Personally, wouldn’t want to see a guy wearing a thong unless he has an ass that can handle it.
I don’t think any man should wear a thong
Yeah, man. How sexy is knappy ass hair? I should try it and see if it gives Ladybug a she-boner.
Go for it man and let us know
LOL, your probably right on that account, but I’m sure there are some guys who sport the butt floss
Random thoughts in this vein….us kids used to go all over hell on our bicycles – miles away from home, and our moms would say, “Be back by dinnertime”…not even caring where we went. Aaaah, freedom! Helmets? Hell no. Scraped knees were a badge of honor. Thongs on men are truly ugly! Especially those fat French and Italian guys you see pix of at the beach…UGH! But then some women shouldn’t wear them, either, or shorts for that matter, when the fat globules stick out the back end. Now there is a disgusting image…..I’m sorry I thought about it, and it’s all your fault.
Love your blog RM…..it keeps my juices flowing (I think).
Thanks Marlilyn
Yes they should! Mostly when they have insomnia and open their computer in the middle of the night to write incoherences that make other people laugh
oh and the tanning salon is a huge mystery here in Cali too. There are so many yet I can’t seem to get any color whatsoever and still look like a piece of white paper 
Lol
LOL
I wanna hear what you’re gonna do when Lexie asks you what it’s like for a man to suck another man’s dick, and she’ll tell you the only way to describe it for her is for you to do it.
I am not speaking to you Cris. I asked you the same question 4 times and you ignored me.
What was the question?
The second person question
Okay. Sorry. It’s the point of view (POV) of the character telling the story. There are 3 POVs:
FIRST PERSON: I do this, I think this. The only thing the reader will know is what I know. I can’t see what the villain is thinking or know what’s happening out of my own vision.
SECOND PERSON: You said, you thought.
THIRD PERSON: He said, she said. This is the most common POV. You can be in anyone’s head and tell the reader what they are thinking and how they view the situation. Also included in this is omniscient, where a godlike voice tells you what’s happening anywhere in the world. But changing POV too often is called head-hopping. A POV change is usually indicated by *** or by blank spaces. Otherwise it’s likely to be confusing to the reader.
I’ve never seen an entire book written in second person (“You”) POV. Even the literary giants (Joyce Carol Oates comes to mind) can only do a short story this way. So now you are a literary giant because you wrote to your penis.
LOL
Your mind was all over the place in this blog entry and I loved it. You’re nuts……but that’s not news to you. LOL. I agree with your summary about medical forms. I’ve always thought that some trained chimp created them since why would a human being create something so useless for filling in information.
I’ve been a BETA myself and I thought the process of being one took away from the enjoyment of reading the book. Maybe I had to pay too much attention to everything and missed what should have been merely subtle? Maybe………
Lastly; I don’t really think men should wear thongs, and especially not cock-socks. Bad….just doesn’t enhance the equipment.
Thanks for the bloggie, RM. You are as always….quite cute.
I am just so happy to be the first to read a new book
And that my opinion matters to SOMEONE. Love my authors
I love my authors too…..and also the anticipation of waiting for that new book to come out. I’d liken the anticipation to that of planning a romantic evening…….like a secret little thrill waiting to happen……..
Thanks Skeletor
Men thongs? Oh yeah, Channing Tatum can wear a thong any damn time he feels like it. In fact, he can do it in my living room. For starters.
I am not speaking to you
Whoa… All over the place aren’t you. “Taste like chicken…” Classic! If you have to ask if you should wear a thong then the answer is NO! Thongs should be sold with a 7 day waiting period inorder to investigate if the buyer is worthy to wear them in public. But… A black market for those private moments should be established for those who are not worthy of public displays. Loose use of humor above.
LOL I agree
Kids here (Victoria, Australia – ozone depleted) are now paranoid about sunburn. They stay out of the sun to such an extent that there’s now a Rickets ward in the children’s hospital for the first time in many, many decades. In a state with so much sunshine, it’s ludicrous. If they get a little bit pink, you’d think they’d been boiled alive.
Not all women write nicely. My writing is so bad that I’ve had people say that it can’t be mine. I get offended that they think I’m somehow less of a woman when that happens.
As for thongs on men, they all do it her. G-strings are another matter, only good on some.
God NO!! Don’t wear a thong. eewwww. A man should never, ever where a thong…unless he’s doing for another man who is also in a thong. Women in general do not like to see men in thongs. My god, my eyeballs are burning!!
vaguice? We’ll there’s another new word to add to the special RM dictionary LOL!
And noooooo on the thongs! I hate those things on guys *shudders* totally gives me the creeps.
Why is it that thongs look good on (some) women and just don’t look good on men?
No, to Jim Bean. Sorry.
Ugh, no, to thongs unless you have a butt like Channing’s and your hairy balls do not hang out swaying to and fro. Blech!
I’m figuring you just want woman on woman action which is why you answered Lexie who is just being the diligent writer that she is.
All most authors, imho, want from their betas other than total obeisance and lots of bowing is whether the story makes sense and flows well with no obvious boring and draggy areas and if you like it. Fyi, you must follow it with…you are the most awesome, writer on the planet!
I beta read, too. If you aren’t finding any issues, then tell Smoothie Rocks which parts you like and why. That’s just as helpful as the constructive criticism. Authors need to know where their humor is working, that you like the characters you’re supposed to like and why, etc. Don’t think so hard. Just read. It’s one of the best “jobs” in the world.
And to answer your question, no man should wear a thong. Ever. They look ridiculous and are completely unsexy. If he has a delicious ass, then he should just be naked.
I agree, Kindle Gal, on beta readers. As a judge of unpublished entries for RWA chapters, I try to emphasize the writer’s strong points and put smiley faces on things that I like. That’s as important as pointing out things that don’t work, like head-hopping, or stilted dialogue, or starting in the wrong place, or any other things that could be improved.
Why won’t this freaking web site let me log on?
Ok…..my writing is horrible, I think that goes without saying for a person in the medical profession, and I can never read my own writing on grocery lists. My question is, why would ANYONE want to wear a thong.
Before you all jump on me, to me it would be like having a constant wedgie….ick! Lexie, keep writing I can’t wait to read it!
Pat, I had to learn how to write in print all over again as a part of my Elementary Education degree. Most people write a combination of cursive and print which is hard for kids to learn. LOL!
I’m sure everyone was dying to know that.
I think that’s my problem Marquita! I would always write in medical notes, 1/3 cursive 1/3 printing with 1/3 shorthand and symbols! course nobody reads them anyway!!!
Loved it again and I want to know what you were on, man you were all over the place. Just toooo funny RM.
I think you could have used that Jim Bean because your mind rambles in very far off places!
My writing used to be good, worked at a bank for 18 years and now you can’t read it anymore….. Boys in my house have awful writing! All alike!
I think a man in a thong looks stupid… I prefer to see him in a pair of tight boxer briefs!
Ditto on the tight boxer briefs…….just the thought brings a smile to my face.
Well done, RM.
When that urge gets too strong keep right on writing! Even if it isn’t a blog post, keep a diary of your thoughts.
The Dr.’s main concern is always what meds are you taking. When I tell them none, they look at me like I’m crazy. And ask are you sure? It is like it is expected to be on meds for 1 thing or another. I won’t take any perscriptions unless its absolutely necessary.
I was so glad when computers came, my handwriting sucks. The teacher had put in penmanship a year early, mine was so bad.
Thongs… Hell no!
What you have to watch for is when the doctor starts talking maintenance drugs like acid-reflux meds. Once on them your body ‘forgets’ how to function on it’s own and before you know it you’re hooked on the maintenance drug. There are a couple things in my medical past that I should have questioned more, and researched MUCH more. It’s just too easy to pop pills….
Oh my – I am sorry you can’t sleep that sucks. I should send you one of my textbooks that puts me to sleep! But I love these smorgasbord of blog posts.
*Love all the questions Lexie gives you – “Chicken” you are brilliant. Your support for her is amazing.
*Forms – I completely agree – and if one needs to be filled out I do it for Hubs – as I tell people if you want to read it I must fill it out. My handwriting is better than his, but not perfect – sometimes I change how I make a letter – so my signature is not consistent – I guess I get bored. My Mom forbade me to write the addresses on my wedding invites – so she did them all; as the nuns taught her how to write – the nun I had found me hopeless.
*That kid seriously spends too much time in front of his computer…what a boring childhood he will rant to his children about.
Now the important question – man thongs. I would rather Hubs go commando. They do nothing for me, actually they creep me out – I only wear thongs because I know he likes them on me – easiest way to get him interested.
Dude, you don’t need Jim Beam, this post proves you have a permanent supply of bad chemicals running around, I haven’t read anything all over the place…since I last read something I wrote (I never really drank much and never did drugs, not because I am morally opposed, but rather I was a)afraid it would make me more insane then I already am and b)would release all my deep, dark secrets, some of which would make Lexie leave RM for having me on the blog…..
I think men’s handwriting is bad because due to testosterone poisoning, the same thing that made men not too bad at killing game, burping and farting at the same time and memorizing 5,000 pages of sports stats while not remembering how to multiply two numbers, and sometimes actually producing kids and maybe making their mate smile once in a blue moon…
As far as thongs go a man wearing a thong is like a wife asking her husband how it feels for a guy to suck another guys cock, never appropriate, and no good can come of either.
Okay, now RM is ignoring me. An hour ago I asked him “What was the question?” that he was so mad because I didn’t answer, and he didn’t answer yet.
Would you by any chance be Bipolar? I mean, I am and I’m fine with it. I can see some traits in your writing style. Mainly I get the feeling that your typing like a mad man trying to get all the thoughts that are swirling around in your mind typed out before they leave your head.
I do this too. Especially when I’m manic. I talk/type no-stop about some of the most random sh*t. One thing I don’t do is ask a random question at the end of my post.
Anyway, this is another great post. You are always make me laugh. Hagn Romance Man
RM, I’ve known one man that admitted to wearing thong underwear. I was going to say that no man in my family does and then thought ” wait, maybe I should ask…” so my daughter (23) says she can’t imagine her boyfriend would agree to wear one. My 27yo son responded to “do you? have you?” with “definitive no” and my 32 yo son said ” haha, the closest I’ve ever come is a wedgie”
My opinion…thongs NO, prefer a naked butt….
Hi RM!
RE: penmanship : I have a husband and 2 sons and my penmanship is by far the worst of any of us. It’s so bad I can’t even read it half the time!
Re: Insomnia- I’m with ya buddy. I think it’s hormone related (early Menopause) but I can’t sleep either. Thank God I write at night. I’m usually up until 2 or 3 Am. When I finally go to bed no matter how tired, I lie awake for another 2 hours. I had to leave the bed a couple of nights ago due to the impulse to smother my snoring hubby with my pillow. I’ll never get another book trailer that way!
I now nap during the day (usually only an hour or so). In somnia sucks but at least I have a flexible schedule!
You have my sympathy with the whole insomnia thing. I used to be a fairly normal, well-adjusted person when I could sleep. Now I am fucking lunatic
. I think the only thing saving my marriage to MB is the fact that I am not trying to write a book. If we added that fuel to this crazy fire, the whole thing would go up in flames 
. My self-help book is obviously the exception to this because it is so clearly writing itself.
NO MAN THONGS– see MB’s comment above. Commando or boxer briefs– there really shouldn’t be any other options available.
By the way– ZK nearly died driving home from work because I was reading this post to her.
The part that almost ended her commute–
” What is the reason for your visit today? Hard time breathing smothered by vagussy, vaguice all over my face.”
This blog really needs a warning label. I no longer eat or drink while reading it. Now I have to add “do not read via phone to friends who are driving”.
Please add do not read at work to the label.
Thanks Ladybug
Jim Beam, You dated yourself there…
As for everything else…Perfect writing. I love it. My mind does that on a daily basis.
Thongs on anyone but Barbie shouldn’t wear them.
I would have been that kid to bond with you about the over protective mother. LOL
Being a Beta reader, wouldn’t know about that. Want to be one, haven’t been asked.
I guess i know more about animals then books. Lol.
I don’t think I know anybody who likes their own hand writing and honestly it weirds me out when a guy has really nice penmanship.
Man thongs are icky.
Hope you sleep tonight RM.
First I have trouble sleeping so I understand. And not all women have good hand righting mine sucks I right like my dad are signatures are the same lol. I have tried to practice with no luck. And at the doctors office I hate you have like ten pages of crap to fill out.
Speedos are not sexy I like to use my imagination, thanks for the laugh RM
Okay I just came from the store what is up with the men who wear the short shorts they are really not sexy there as bad as a speedo. Sorry just had to vent lol.
I sympathize with the not sleeping. I haven’t been able to sleep for the last two weeks, while my 15 year old son seems to sleep more than he’s awake!
Men wearing thongs is the opposite of sexy. Just say no!
Thong….depends on the dude wearing it. Nice abs? Ass? Hmmm….second thought….Can I have a shot or two instead? Jim is one of my favorite men…along with Jose, Jack…you get the picture…
without your insomnia, we would miss out on your interesting streams of consciousness. I saw an ad on TV that nyquill has a sleep zzzz product to help with occasional insomnia. not that i’m recommending. but two benedryl knocked me out and I didn’t take them on purpose. Anyway ixnay on the thong – bare nekked is good enough for me. I think the important thing when beta reading is to point out where you think the story slows down and you find yourself skipping or losing interest, or if something knocks you out of the story or a scene just seems too jumbled up action wise. and yes, if you really love a scene or some choice dialogue let the writer know. imho, of course. night all!
I can’t take most of the otc sleep aid, they are antihistamines which do the opposite with me, they wire me up.
For sleep, try low dose Melatonin. Most of the stuff you get in the store is a couple of grams, find a 500 mg or break up a larger one, it really can help. Age seems to kill sleeping at times, whether it is sensitivity to caffeine (I used to live on coffee when I was younger, my dad and I would be working on some unreliable car at night in a freezing garage, drinking coffee to keep warm, and i slept like a baby..if I have coffee after 4pm, it will keep me up).
Another thing to look at with insomnia when of a certain age is tailing off of hormones. My wife and I take herbal supplements that balance/enhance hormones and help boost in some cases and it seems to have helped with sleep as well (and the thing that precedes sleep, or at least should:)
RM This is so damn funny! Loved the whole thing so I’ll just say I totally agree about the forms. Have always thought the same thing. Bet they love you at your doctor’s office between your great penmanship and carefully filled out forms.
No, No, No on the man thongs!
Currently my DH is laughing his ass off at your BDSM blogs. Finally got him to read your stuff, next step romance novels!
Hope you sleep tonight. Night!
Damn, RM, you are in fine form again. Glad to see Lexie is going strong with the writing. Tell her to keep going!
My penmanship is like it belongs to a serial killer. Nobody should be subjected to that. I got so embarrassed and gave up and switched to printing in my 20s. AND I am left-handed, so the letters also slant the wrong way. SIGH.
I would love to be a beta reader. Sounds like so much fun. I agree with everyone – if you cannot find anything wrong, tell them what you liked! Which jokes were funny, which sex scenes were hot, etc.
Those forms are a aptitude test – if you can get through them with reasonably intelligent answers, you are in.
And if you started talking to my son about the protective gear, he would have handed it all to you, then quit talking because he was too busy trying to run you over.
And thongs? I love them on ME – but a man? NOOOOO!
RM you are hilarious as usual and you’ve brought up some good points. What would I say if my husband asked what he tasted like? I would say “Man” There are some things food companies can’t recreate and shouldn’t. When I get done with a medical form, it usually looks like I filled it out with my eyes closed. Why does Brady still listen so closely to Belichicks advice on the sidelines? I’m pretty sure he knows what he’s doing by now. Thongs? No Victoria’s Secret is busy enough. Try to get some sleep.
Heidi it’s funny my husband actually asked me what he tasted like last night. I said I couldn’t describe it he would have to taste for himself. He didn’t hit me though
Steph,I know right? What are we suppose to say. I guess we could tell them it’s like hazelnut ice cream or a double carmel parfait or a vanilla frappicino. We might as well make it interesting.
Why the LEFT testicle?
I don’t like it as much
Victoria, that was my first question as well? Why is it always the left one that has to deal with the threats? So unfair…
And RM, I’m posting from the RWA conference and wanted to let you know that I drank the Jim Beam (or it’s equivalent) for you. Hope you appreciate my sacrifice.
Thanks Kate
No thongs on men – go COMANDO!! Am not sure if that should have a double m but you get the idea.
Thank God i never suffered from insomnia but then i read myself to sleep and drive my husband crazy because if i put off the light it means i am dead tired and am asleep in two secs.
Have you ever read books to your kids? Or studied with them? I manage to sleep each and every time.
Very intelligent people have ugly handwriting. That’s my excuse and i am stick
Sticking to it.
Oh RM, how I do love your random thoughts… You really are just so funny and have a great way of expressing yourself!
I have sleep issues too, so I feel your pain. As I type Scott is peacefully snoring away – sigh.
Scott writing is horrible and so was his dads, maybe it is hereditary??
I am so with you on the filling out a form issue, this happens to me every time. I can never judge it correctly and then I end up having to squeeze it on the side or underneath. It is a huge mess! Another thing I do sometimes is start writing the wrong information on the wrong boxes because the put the titles in a weird place.
Oh and men should stay away from thongs – not attractive!
Hey everyone I am gone for the day and will comment tonight. There was a mistake in the post that i corrected and now it is better so reread it. Talk to you guys soon.
Wow! Thanks for fixing that error. Now the whole thing makes perfect sense– so much better
.
Enjoy your day – Okay if there was a mistake I couldn’t find it – but it was just as funny the second time around! And I still say No to the male thong
That is me? Exactly which part did you fix?
Fuckin’ hysterical! Get back here soon, okay?
BTW, I loved the book! Will email soon.
If you’re Matt Bomer you should wear a thong and I’ll volunteer to check and make sure it’s a good fit. Otherwise, no.
Stay away from the Beam, RM! That stuff’ll make you see things that aren’t there and Bud works better when you pour it over your morning cereal.
RM, I feel your pain. I am typically not an insomniac, but I don’t sleep well in strange places or in strange beds. Right now, I am at RWA and am not getting any sleep at all! It’s totally brutal. That being said, the pleasure is far outweighing the pain. Plus, I get to drink tons of diet coke to stay awake. Really can’t complain about that.
Also, my penmanship is unusual, but beautiful, if I do say so myself!
Elizabeth, I would so love to be there, I could follow you around like a puppy!!
Diet Coke is definitely my drink of choice, it’s my morning pick me up…drinking it now! There is caffeine free….maybe you might sleep??
Hope your having fun… Love the pics……
I always said caffeine free Diet Coke is brown bubble water, that the purpose of Diet Coke the caffeine
I completely agree!
Oh no, I love my caffeine free Diet Coke. It is cold and fizzy and sweet. And it doesn’t give me the jitters or keep me away at night
Okay, Pat – I am a diet coke fiend, but something stops me from drinking it in the AM. I did have one waay too late last night, so that may have hurt my sleeping prospects.
Your injuries are probably the reason you can’t tell the difference between “wear” and “where” (are the letters different sizes?).
I don’t even think women should wear thongs.
PS..Chicken? With what kind of sauce?
PPS…Hockey players started wearing the cup (athletic supported) in 1874. They didn’t start wearing a helmet until 1974. It only took them 100 years to figure out their big head was important too.
hmmm…I need to edit my own writing…s/b athletic supporter.
the P for sticking my tongue out doesn’t work so well with the happy faces
There isn’t a tongue in the Smilies..
http://en.support.wordpress.com/smilies/
Football players don’t wear cups to this day (least the pros), and I have heard lot of baseball players don’t either, they say it gets in the way..of what I don’t know (well, with Antonio Cromarte of the Jets, I do know…)
I have to confess, I had to Google to find out what Jim Beam was.
Lexie, good on you, for keeping up the writing and for smacking him. LOL
RM, yes, authors can be a little crazy at times. You would be too if you had all those characters living in your head, plus all their baggage, angst and emotions. That’s our story, and we’re all sticking to it.
Thongs on men. Hell to the NO. Just so wrong.
If a man wants to show off his nice ASSet, then a great pair of jeans always does the trick.
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend ahead!
“What is the reason for your visit today? Hard time breathing smothered by vagussy, vaguice all over my face.”
Fricken hilarious! LMAO Seriously, you need your own urban dictionary online.
P.S. Insomniacs, try some anti-gravity yoga, guaranteed, you’ll go to sleep. Also, herbal Chamomile tea, if you don’t have allergies to ragweed.
Selena, commando in jeans, yum!
My question is: wouldn’t commando in jeans be uncomfortable? I am seriously curious.
I agree, Steph, but the jeans must be worn by someone with great buns. LOL Although, I don’t know how comfy they would be for more than a few hours. Who cares, we just like to look. LOL
real men go commando lol
Shelby Stanga on Ax Men wears a thong…. Does NOT turn me on or anything… He says it is good for his hernia.
Also, re-reading your post…. I think men are born with a “word bank” that unlocks at some certain age. My husband is the same way…. Where do you get this stuff…..how do you know it?
LOL. Man I could’ve used this today to get through my utterly boring Friday at work. But our IT department apparently decided that your blog is a no-no all of a sudden and is blocking the blog entries as being “suspicious content”…. (only the entries, I can see everything else on the website…). Bastards. Anyhoo, don’t feel bad, my handwriting sucks ass. It’s so bad I should be a doctor.
omgosh. I’ve had a bad week sleeping and then last night i read Remy’s midnight rant before turning in. And I slept like the dead for 8 glorious hours. I feel absolutely fabulous! Thanks, hon. Once again you saved me. My hero, uniball or not. xoxoxoxoxo
RM I feel your insomnia pain!
Men should however NOT wear thong underwear!
my forms question is why they bother to have me fill it out anyway when the 12 year old that works as the MA that walks me to the room is going to ask me anyway, then the nurse will ask, the the PA (cause you never get to see a actual MD any more) will ask me again. SIGH!
Handwriting is because girl pass notes in class to all the other girls so they have much more practice.
Thongs should be footwear not underwear, It is wrong to just up and decide to change the name of something when I am at midlife
oh and as far as vaguice couldn’t she just use her finger to see what it tastes like? just sayin’
Now I am wondering if I could exchange MB’s left testicle for a good night’s sleep (I don’t want the JB)…. Do you put that on Craigslist? People (men) often speak of giving their left nut for something. How does the exchange occur? As I don’t have any testicles of my own, I am out of the loop on the testicle/nut/ball exchange protocol. Please advise
.
Are you going to cut it off why he sleeps?
While he sleeps i meant!
Of course while he sleeps, Lucie. I’m not some sort of barbarian
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So why is it always the LEFT!! What’s wrong with the right one???
I just asked MB and he says it really depends on whether or not you are a southpaw. I think he is just making shit up again
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Maybe it has something to do with the way thay masterbate?
My husband wanted to buy a Carlos Ruiz Zafon book from on his ipad through ibooks and i noticed ibooks prices are cheaper than the Amazon kindle prices. So i decided to search some Romance authors to see if their books were available and cheaper too. So i tell my husband while making suggestive moves with my eyebrows: let’s buy you some wolf books. I type Kate Douglas in the search and some of her books turn up but not the wolf ones. So i type in Wolf Tales and some erotica books come up at eur1.99. Ooh great prices i think and my eye goes on Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. Hmmm sounds interesting. So i click and it turns out Red is a man
. Its an M/M , i tell him – perfect for you! He was not amused.
Manbug lacks a certain appreciation for M/M romances. What’s up with these guys?
I agree Ladybug, what gives? You’d think they would appreciate a great love scene whether it was traditional or alternative. And what about wolf sex? They get to lock on to each other and stay together for a really long time. Just lovin’.
Insomnia, I can’t even sympathise. If sleeping was an Olympic sport I would win gold!
Penmanship, my Mum used to make me practice every night after school!
Forms, I fill them out for a living and I still can’t make sense of them!
Thongs, no thanks!
I didn’t get an email about this blog, so only just found it (1am UK time)
Not insomnia, just finished watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics!
We are watching it now in DVR mode
Did you enjoy it?
Email finally came at 4.30 am UK time
I sleep in one hour spurts. I feel your pain … the rest of your random thoughts? Mr. Nina wanted to know what the hell was so funny. I was laughing too hard to read it to him. They have a name for your thoughts ADHD … it’s pronounced “ur-nuts” (but obviously not left).
LOL Thanks Nina I think you are right
Were you like this before the blog? Before you added writing witty posts, tweeting, and FB posts to your daily life? Not that we want you to stop – but DUDE I am totally A and when I get too many things going I get lost confused and sleepless
I have to say that I am very disappointed in all of us. We have been left unattended for almost 2 days, and we haven’t set this blog on fire, changed the background colors to shades of pink, talked about ironing or laundry, discussed PMS, or anything equally horrifying to RM. We suck as rebellious blog commentors
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Is this a mutiny?
No, not a mutiny– just a waste of time when we won’t get yelled at for talking about fabric softener. It’s like wasting a weekend when your parents are out of town and not having a party
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Where were you LB when i got badly told off for mentioning ironing here? I sadly discovered that no one here does the hot and steamy.
This is my one weekend off from laundry and fabric softener! I know, i am so going to pay for it next week.
SO I am bringing vodka to this party. Whose in charge of music, there’s no party without dancing.
I’m with you as to having a party. RM wasn’t talking to me because I didn’t answer a question and I answered it and he’s still peeving. So I’ll bring the tequila.
TESTUDINE LAUNDRY ROCKS!
Cris– you are in good company. He isn’t talking to me about 90% of the time
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Sorry I wasn’t there when RM was mean to you about the ironing, but I did get him to admit that having a recipe section means we can talk about laundry now
. I only iron 2-3 times a year. In between, I throw all of the ironing necessary clothes in a laundry basket in my closet and then do a massive ironing event over the course of a couple of days. That’s when I clear out my DVR.
I tried to start something w/ your M/M comment, but no one picked it up
Yeah, LG, nothing creeps RM out like some M/M book talk. I love leading lovely ladies astray. Brings me back to my youth when I….never mind.
So, LG, did you try the Cut and Run series yet?
Kermie, I haven’t started Cut and Run yet. My TBR pile is ridiculous. It is all Rahab’s fault. She puts up free reads on FB and they suck me right in. Its like ADD, I look at a potential book, open it and start reading. Forget all the books I have that are patiently waiting for me
I had a couple of reviews I had promised also.
I had previously read Sean Michaels Hammer Club series (some of them) It is M/M BDSM. It has given me quite an insight into the psychology of BDSM-what drives them, what rewards they receive, and the whole abuse thingy.
LOL..LG! I am so sorry for unintentionally increasing your TBR pile. I seriously didn’t think anybody downloads those books but me and I think Pat gets some too.But to be honest I haven’t read any of them either & I have well over 300..God help me!. I do try not to post everyday though
Can you please help me organize them in my Kindle so I can find them again???!!!!!
Good point about the baby sleeping thing. Much better to say teenager. I vote an emphatic ‘NO’ to the male thong thing. Same with Speedos. All my friends agree.
RM-Remy…Lots of man hugs happening on the Olympics. Just sayin’
No thongs. Boxer briefs. Or commando
LUCIE– Where are you? You are the only one I know who might be awake. I should be reading, but my brain doesn’t want to focus. I still don’t have an answer about my testicle exchange question so I guess I will hold off on trying to trade MB’s left one for some sleep
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Hey LB was away! I guess you are wide awake now and its my turn to sleep
. So, who are you going to exchange the testicle with to get some sleep? I am picturing you going all Lorena Bobbit on MB:).
Am reading Seducing Cinderella and am loving it. Fast paced like i like, great characters. And the heroine couldn’t have been given a better name
OMG-LOL. Had to share. Author Kate Devlin posted.
http://biggeekdaddy.com/humorpages/Misc/obgynansweringmachine.html
LOL!!!! SUIT = Something up in there
Friggin hilarious! Thanks for sharing
YW, Lulu. Was seeking laughs yesterday!
That worked and so did the below. (Mrs. Browns Bikini Wax)
ROTFLMAO!
After the bitch week I’ve had…needed lots of laughs. This is old, but in case anyone hasn’t seen. No matter how many times I watch…I roll with laughter.
Mrs. Browns Bikini Wax
http://youtu.be/EqfwYk-Gt1I
Hey everyone sorry I have missed the comments. We are in the process of moving and I will be off the blog for a few days so talk amongst yourselves and I will see you soon.
Sorry. Moving always bites.
Once done yay, great, woo hoo, but the doing it…sucks.
Much coffee to you both.
OHH–Why don’t you and Lex set up his and her massages? That would be a nice after move treat.
Well, Good Morning! All work and no play makes a dull boy
Eek! Moving sucks. Packing sucks. Unpacking sucks. RM doesn’t suck. Mostly. Hope it goes well. Really.
Just tell me whatever you don’t like. I’ll figure out what it means. I just rewrote the first chapter of Along Came Trouble, and I bet you’d like it better now. I did it b/c of some advice I got from Amber, but also b/c I remembered how you reacted to the beginning of the book. Reactions are helpful. If your reaction is “This book is perfect,” that’s nice. But even better if it’s “This book rocks, but I hated the ending.” Or “I didn’t like this character at first, but she/he grew on me.” Or “all the scenes with what’s-his-name bored the shit out of me.”
Also, I could fill out forms all day long. If I weren’t a writer, I would look into a career as a professional filler-outer of forms, I like it that much.
All quiet here. I think everyone’s over on FB.
Rahab!! Would you please help me organize all those books in my kindle?? I keep downloading more and then I don’t know which are the best ones!!!!
Okay. I’ll send you a message Lady G.
Ruthie, fixin to start Ride with Me. So psyched, have heard such good things about it!
RM, good luck with the move. Hope it’s not too stressful.
Hello…….very quiet here!!! Hope your move goes well for you, Lexie, and the girls! We sure miss you….. You are coming back ……. : cry:
Hi Luci…..and other BBLers……… Will check back later…..
Hi Pat! Yep, I miss him too. It seems that the BBLers are over on SoBBL on FB!
Hey Pat and LG!! Hope y’all having a great Tuesday. Lexie and RM – good luck with the move.
We are getting rain today! Whoopeeee!!! Its overcast and kinda cool (for Vegas anyway). It hasn’t rained at my house yet (this town gives new meaning to the name cloudburst!) But the sky has dark clouds and rumbling thunder!!!
I am so jealous, LG. We are in desperate need of rain here. Enjoy it
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LB, you know I live in the desert right? We get rain about 4 times a year. That is it. So sorry the midwest is in such a drought though. They really need the moisture!
Actually the rain missed my house. The news said it was raining farther south from me, but I didn’t get any. The cloudburst dumps all its rain in one spot!
Good luck with the move, Lexie & Matador. Unpacking and putting up curtain rods, etc. is a surefire way to cure insomnia.
Waving hi to everyone. Hope your week is going well.
RM, you crack me up! xD
Not all women have great handwriting, btw. Mine was terrible until I started forcing myself to write in print. Now at least it is legible.
<3,
-J
Sorry RM I hate moving it sucks big time was an Airforce brat so I have done my share of that
I hope it went well.
Just say no to male thongs!
You has me laughing so hard I was in tears, my first time reading you’re blog and I love it! Keep on posting.
Read a book recently where he took off her thong then took off his. It was wrong. I could not get past it. Deleted it from my Kindle. Now I’m nauseous all over again.
i’m a first time reader of your blog & i gotta say, i LOVED it! soooo funny! Kate Douglas mentioned your blog in her newsletter & i thought to check it out. (btw, i LOVE her Wolf Tales books!!) Well, just wanted to wish u good luck on your move, and i cant wait to read your next blog! have an awesome weekend!!
Christine from NY
Thanks Christine
If you google four-hour sleep cycle and BBC, you will find that sleeplessness may be ingrained. I no longer worry about being awake.