GUEST BLOG BY GINA MAXWELL

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I am turning the blog over to Gina today and I will be guest blogging at UTC so when you are done here come check it out.

Why I Love Books with Smokin’ Hot Sex

 

Now, that said, do I love the sex scenes? Hell, yes, I do! Done right, those scenes are absolutely smoking and full of emotion—yes, I said EMOTION. Sex scenes in a romance novel aren’t like reading the assembly instructions for furniture, for chrissakes! (Making sure there was an ample amount of lubrication, he lined up Bolt A with Hole B and inserted it completely until the Nuts at the other end were flush against the opening…)

The characters not only go through a myriad of physical sensations, but emotional ones as well: insecurity, fear, confidence, madness, frustration, elation, revelations, and so many more. And I’ve never read a sex scene that hasn’t altered—either for good or bad—the relationship in some way.

Let’s face it; a couple’s sexual relationship is a HUGE factor in their lives. You can be the Cleavers outside of the bedroom, but if you’re not compatible in the bedroom, you’ll soon turn into the Clintons. And, unless you’ve taken a vow of lifelong abstinence, EVERYONE has sex. So why pretend like it doesn’t happen? Why gloss over what happens between a couple sexually? There are certainly plenty of romances that are of a lighter variety and keep the heated moments “behind closed doors” so to speak. But I hate not knowing what happens in those moments. Was it hot and heavy? Slow and easy? Two minutes or two hours? Did one of them hold back or was it no holds barred?

I once read an interview with one of my all-time favorite authors, Gena Showalter. She told of an early experience she had at one of her book signings, where a woman walked up to the counter and commented with a look of disdain on her face that Gena’s books were those “trashy novels.” Gena’s great response was…

“What’s so trashy about love and monogamy?”

Indeed! Why are the books categorized as ROMANCE considered by a large majority of the public to be “trashy?” For that matter, why is pornographic material considered to be so taboo? Go into an adult book store (which, for the record, I’m not sure why the word “book” is in there, because I don’t believe I’ve ever actually seen any books in those stores) and the wide variety of items is insane. You can get something as innocently cheeky as penis- or boob-shaped pasta, to things you didn’t even have the imagination to conjure up as possibilities in the bedroom. But does that mean that any of it is wrong and shameful? No. It means that there’s a variety of things out there no matter what might float your boat. As long as it’s involving consenting adults there shouldn’t be anything considered wrong with it.

The same goes for what we write or read in our romance novels. Whether the sex is missionary and sweet or upside-down and nasty, it’s a vital part of a relationship.

Look, I understand that “seeing” the sex in a romance book isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Not everyone is comfortable with reading the smexy scenes, and for those people, there are thankfully tons of romances that are of the much sweeter, “closed door” variety.

But, to me, taking the sex out of a romance novel would be like taking half of the clues out of a mystery novel. Sure, at the end the mystery is solved, but you have no idea of how it all came together.

I’ll leave you with this one last thought…

You all know and love my dear friend Ruthie Knox, as she’s been a regular on Remy’s blog and her books Ride With Me and About Last Night have been reviewed here and proved to be pure awesomsauce. Last year I read her (unpublished thus far) book we affectionately refer to as Vegas Book. In it, the characters are best friends and madly in love with each other, but neither thinks the other feels anything more than friendship. In a crazy scenario, they end up married for the term of one month and they quickly give in to a friends-with-benefits relationship. The sex they share is hot and needy and uninhibited, but always very physical as a way of preventing a slow lovemaking that would cause them to risk their hearts.

In the end, when the heroine has made up her mind that she needs to leave the man she secretly loves, she instigates a love-making like I’ve never read before. The turmoil, emotion, passion, and heartache combined with their physical actions of how they touch one another, hold their gazes, kiss, everything…it was the most poetically beautiful scene—not sex scene, but scene in general—I’ve ever read. The heroine’s heartache became mine as she expressed her love for him as well told him goodbye, all without words, as they made love for the first time.

If Ruthie had chosen to not show that scene, I wouldn’t have understood what drove the characters’ next actions. Or, at the very least, I definitely wouldn’t have related to them as deeply as I did. And if we can’t get our readers to relate to our characters on a bone-deep level and get them to root for the happy ending, then we’ve failed our readers and our characters.

And that, my friends, is…

Why I Love Books with Smokin’ Hot Sex

167 thoughts on “GUEST BLOG BY GINA MAXWELL”

  1. BRAVA!
    You have put in words what I never could explain. Wow, now I really can’t wait to read your book on vacation next week!

    PS
    I am dumb what it UTC?

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    • Thanks so much for letting me control your space for a day, Remy! You’re a real peach.

      And nice try, but you’ll never be able to tear Ruthie and me apart. We’re like two sides of the same coin (I was going to say we’re like Siamese twins, but we’re total opposites) and can’t be separated. Shame, shame. I’m telling Ruthie on you.

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  3. Great job, Gina! You are on fire this weekend (I am still counting it as the weekend until my kids wake up ;) )! I feel like the sleep police every time I say this to you, but I hope you eventually get some sleep. Thanks for taking care of the kids while RM is away :) .

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      • Oh– don’t ask me about sleep. We broke up months ago. That bastard hates me ;) .

        I’m pretty excited about RM being away from the blog today. Think about all of the awesome things we can talk about while he is gone :) .

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        • Ooh, you’re so right! Let’s femme it up today and squeeze every last ounce (what little there is anyway) of testosterone out of his blog so that by the time he gets back his precious blue and GRAY color scheme is pink!

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  4. Hi Gina!
    Sorry I missed the debut! Congrats! I see it is doing really well. I downloaded my copy this morning. I was pissed, we had such shitty if not any wifi or 4G all weekend, I was hoping to get it to read while waiting for everyone to wake up. Instead, I had to reread a book, and started a mystery I accidentally downloaded to my phone. Those were the only 2 books I had!
    You are so right, those make love, say goodbye scenes are 1 of my favorites. They make my cry every time. Then I have to put the book down for a few min. before I can continue.
    The color sceme we should strive for is mauve! We all know how much RM likes that color!

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  5. RM,
    I did not get an email about this post. I know I was on vacation,and didn’t get to comment for a few days, does that mean I am off the mailing list?
    :-)

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  6. Good Morning Gina… ( and RM), How’s life in the fast lane??? :lol:
    I loved your blog post. I also realized reading your book. SEDUCING CINDERELLA ( did I say it loud enough?), that there is a difference between ” sex” scenes, and “love” scenes. I also mentioned this in my review on Amazon. The sexy scenes in SC are love scenes! The scenes where there is a lot of thrashing around and total regret in the morning by both partners, are to me scenes about sex. For Reid and Lucie, you wrote love scenes. I know that , because I’ve read them a few times! Am I making any sense? In my head I am… :-) . SC would have been a fun story without love scenes, but oh so smexy with them. : oops: Love you Gina…so glad your here today!

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    • Aw, thanks, Patty-Cakes. It’s great to know the emotion came through for you in those scenes of SC. It’s the thing I worry about most. I’ll tell you a secret: I absolutely hate writing sex scenes. *gasp* I know, sounds crazy considering how much I love them and how essential I think they are, right? But they’re not easy for me to write. Not only is there a LOT of mechanization involved (IOW, this goes here and then that went there), but then you have to capture the thoughts and emotions that are happening at the same time! It’s a lot of work and, for me at least, mentally exhausting. (FTR, my favorite part to write is dialogue.) So, like I said, it’s nice to know the emotion came through in those scenes. I was worried they were heavy on the smexy and low on the feely. LOL

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  7. Ladies and gents, don’t forget to specify whether or not you’d like to be entered for the chance to win 1 of 5 copies of Seducing Cinderella, so we know who’s in the running. Thanks!!

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  8. Great post. I loved how you compared a romance book with no smexy scenes with a mystery book with some of the clues missing. That’s a perfect analogy. when I read the birthday scene in Ruthie’s Ride With Me, *sigh*, it was perfect. Emotional smexy. I would LOVE to win a copy of your book.

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  9. Great post! I agree with mceckk you’ve put into words what I could never explain. This will be my new go to when I’m trying to explain to a girlfriend why they shouldn’t knock it ’till they’ve tried it.

    Honestly, reading romance saved my marriage. I started with paranormal romance which often is the story of a couple fated to be together. A one true mate for life. The love, respect and devotion in those books really hit home for me. Made me want to change the direction we were headed in. So I did. Not to mention I was on my husband like white on rice. :)

    I know that there are widely varying opinions on the 50 Shades trilogy. I enjoyed them. But to me the best thing they have done is opened this genre up to non-romance readers. So many of my “sorry, I’m really just not interested in reading that type of book” friends have asked for book recommendations after reading 50 Shades.

    I can’t wait to read wait to read your book Gina. Congrats on your debut, I know it’ll be fabulous. I would love to be entered in a chance to win a copy.

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    • Stephanie, congrats on saving hour marriage! I agree that one of the things I love about PNRs is that they’re often destined to be together. Such a romantic thought. I hope you’ll like my PNR trilogy that releases next summer. There’s a whole lot of destined mates in them. ;)

      As much as I loathe the 50 trilogy (sorry, I don’t mean to offend those of you who enjoyed it…to each their own), I will agree that it has indeed opened up the romance/erotica genres to those who previously scoffed at them. For that, I’m grateful.

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      • I haven’t read 50 Shades, but I agree that it has opened the door for a lot of readers who would not otherwise go near anything erotic, or even romance for that matter.

        I say, if it brings more readers to romance genre and more writers, then it’s always a good thing.

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      • Okay, y’all. I have so many friends who loved 50 Shades. I read the first 2 books (most of you know I lost a game of literary chicken and that was my punishment). The only thing I will say is that I am all for suspending disbelief when I read a book, but there is a limit to how far I can go. I was willing to buy that he was a 28-year-old self-made billionaire who just happened to have concert caliber piano talent (there’s your artist, RM). He was a heart-of-gold philanthropist who had touch issues yet still able to inspire 15 orgasms at a time. Fine– I will believe all of that. BUT I draw the line at believing that he was the most handsome man in the world and REDHEADED. I love my people, but let’s all face it– there aren’t very many handsome redheaded men. Please don’t David Caruso me– he’s not one of them. Damien Lewis? Yes, I will consider that submission.

        Stepping off soapbox ;) .

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        • There should have been some additional smiley faces in there. Just insert them wherever necessary when you read that.

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        • As a redhead I know of what you speak. It may be like magnetic repulsion and only redheads aren’t attracted to other redheads. Honestly, I think the color of his hair is the least of what is wrong with that character.

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          • I think that if two redheads have sex it will rip the fabric of the universe :)

          • yeah, it’s probably worse than dividing by zero. My fear of destroying the time-space continuum is why I resisted your efforts to set me up with the OZK way back in the day

          • Did you know that the redheaded gene is so recessive, some scientists believe that there will not be any natural redheads in a hundred years or so?

          • It is because we won’t marry and procreate with our peeps. Gingers are becoming extinct. I didn’t do my part to help preserve us.

          • ZK– I see your point. That would have ended badly ;) . His sense of humor sucks.

          • Waving at Diane. Actually I read that somewhere not too long ago. I guess those mean old people shouldn’t have burned us at the stake for being witches. (I mean really what’s a little devil worship among friends?) It gave us a complex that has been passed down for generations. :)

          • I would have spilled my mead or grog or whatever on that fire and saved you!

            An it harm none do what ye will.

          • It’s nice to know we witches would have had one friend right, ZK? Thanks, Diane– you are all heart :) .

          • Don’t tell me that, Marilyn. I had made my peace with stopping after book 2 (if you just don’t read the last 2 pages– that is a good stopping spot for the series). Now I will be curious and end up reading book 3 :) .

  10. Hi Gina what a great blog. I so agree when I read my books I get lost in them they become like friends and I won’t to know what they feel and think in every aspect. And I love that I can laugh and cry and that for a few hours I am lost in the book weather it’s a beautiful love seen or raw sex it touches me. Your book is next for me to read. :)

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  11. Congrats on your release, Gina!! I love reading all heat levels, but do prefer smexy times in the same room as me, lol! Well you know what I mean. ;)

    I’d love to win a copy of Seducing Cinderella and even if I don’t I’ll go Kindle it. :) ))

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  13. Gina, put me in although i’ll buy if i don’t win! Here’s the only time I don’t appreciate the sex in novels: when it seems like the author had the joy of sex book open and seemed to be plugging in sex scenes methodically. I like the full scenes most when there is a lot of emotion going on before they get to the hot stuff. i also like it when they are laughing a lot.

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    • Trudy, consider yourself entered! It sounds like what you’re talking about is what’s called “gratuitous sex.” That’s when authors stick in a sex scene because they think it’s time for the characters to have sex (despite that the relationship development isn’t at that level yet) or because they want things to be *HOT* so they throw in lots of unnecessary, and unwarranted for the characters, sex.

      It’s a HUGE no-no in romance, and is one of the first things an author will get called out on if they do it. The sex, or any sort of sexual encounter even if it’s as small as a kiss, MUST MOVE THE STORY AND RELATIONSHIP FORWARD. Otherwise, they’re just banging for the sake of banging, and that’s called erotica. Another genre that I love for what it is, but still a different genre entirely from romance.

      I enjoy reading lighthearted sex scenes where the characters laugh, too. But I don’t write them. My characters tend to be more on the intense side. ;)

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      • Actually, I’d argue that banging for the sake of banging is called “porn.” Sex usually develops character or story in erotica, too. Good erotica, anyway. It just doesn’t necessarily develop romance/love.

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      • Well said, Gina and I totally agree. The sex scenes need to match the characters personality, and when reading, the reader needs to know that it’s these two characters and not just anybody getting their freak on.

        I admire the writers who can write erotic, it’s something I don’t know if I could pull off.

        I’m pretty sure if I wrote a menage scene, my heroine would bitch slap the other chick into a coma, for interfering.

        I was asked once if I’d ever consider writing about Vampires. It would be difficult, because I’m sure any Vampire of mine would faint at the sight of blood and the book would be over in two seconds.

        I think every writer needs to write what blows up her skirt (love that saying, stole it from Denise Agnew) and it also helps when writing the sex scene if the writer is getting all frisky herself. ;)

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  14. Gina- I just finished reading Seducing Cinderella last night and I LOVED it! Excellent job. I will be waiting for the next one with my impatient *grabby hands*. ;)

    I loved it when you said “Whether the sex is missionary and sweet or upside-down and nasty, it’s a vital part of a relationship.”……..Amen to that!

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  15. Great post Gina! Nothing to add, not that my mind can come up with something real good at this moment. Am exhausted and today was only the first day of the week.

    Pat, have you fed poor Remy yet?? :D

    Gina, i have been reading raving reviews about your book! Its lined up after Selena’s book. I was going to read both books on vacation but decided to start them before. My enthusiasm to read them wont keep till then :)

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  16. Hey Gina! Great blog post :D . Don’t really have a whole lot to add because you’ve already written it so beautifully above ^. I want my romance novels to have sex in them. After all they are about relationships between men and women and sex plays a very big part in that. I think that the sex scenes in your book were just perfect. They were REALLY hot, but at the same time I could feel the characters connecting on an emotional level. I do not like books with “just banging for the sake of banging” as you said above.
    Oh, I already have your book so take me out of the running for the free book also :) .

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  17. Thanks for the shoutout, Gina! Sometime I should read that scene again. I kind of forgot all about it. :-) But I agree with everything you said! Just saw an interesting piece by Diana Gabaldon this morning reminding writers that sex scenes are about emotion, not sex. Lust is not an emotion. Sex scenes that don’t aim to convey an emotion — and that don’t move character development forward — are booooring.

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  18. UTC is not allowing me to post my comment :( . Great post though RM, one of the best of yours IMHO. I will post my comment here, not that y’all care what erotica i have read but since i wrote it seems a waste to delete it :) .

    I do not read much erotica because the price of erotica books is waaaaay HIGH!!!! The first one i read was by Susan Lyons and was called Hot in Here. Next i bought a book of short erotica tales. That included really strange three page stories that focused around a myriad of weird people and animals. Gave up because i really do not need anythign that will fuck up my mind more than it already is. Last one i read was Wolf Tales. And the strange thing is that it has me all hot and bothered. Very hot and very bothered but for different reasons to each other. The effect reading it has had on me? My husband has taken to begging me to read wolf books :) .

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    • Luci!! You are a Wolf Tales convert!! Awesome!
      I think Wolf Tales goes over so well is because it is so well written. There is so much emotion in it that I was totally swept away by the story. Who ever thought having sex w part man part wolf would be hot?? Kate Douglas made it so!

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  19. First off: since Seducing Cinderella is on my Kindle Wish List; for sure put me in the running. Regardless….I’ll be reading it soon!
    Secondly: I appreciate that Gina is so serious about the importance of the sexual relationship aspect in a romance novel. I personallly love the build-up and character development before the actual consummation and YES….I expect some smoking HOT sex!
    Thank you Gina for the great blog entry.
    PS: now I want to read Ruthie’s Vegas Story and my curiousity has been whetted. Let us know when that book is published! I love Ruthie’s books.
    Hello to THE MATADOR, as well.

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  20. I wonder if it’s easier for men to watch porn than to read erotica? i can see how it helps couples jumpstart things. but somehow, i thing too much of something might not be so good, either.

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    • Porn gets old very quickly. I haven’t watched porn in years and will never again. I much prefer to read

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  21. Hey, RM! Great post Gina :) That’s definitely how I feel, too. Without those smexy scenes, I feel as though the characters are keeping secrets from me and part of the story is missing.

    I brought a copy of SC, and loved it! So count me out of the contest.

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  22. The first romance novel I ever bought was J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover. It wasn’t a conscious decision. I actually stumbled into the romance section by accident looking for something else, I was such a novice I didn’t even know if the author was a man or woman until I got halfway through and looked at the back. After reading it, I was hooked on romance and the more sex the better. I found a whole new world with so many great authors that I have had a great time discovering. I think it’s empowering for women to write sex and read sex. That’s o.k. to read something that turns you on and hopefully can improve your own sexuality and read a great story in the process. I’ve tried to read the clean stuff but quite frankly it’s just not my preference. Great post Gina Your book is next on my list.

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    • There is nothing wrong with liking to read sex. That’s why when people put us down for reading it we shouldn’t even try and defend because we don’t have to. We should just tell them to fuck off.

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    • I love Gina’s post because it explains the sex part of the romance genre so well. I get my hackles up when I hear someone say ‘trashy romance novel’. I don’t believe there is such a thing.
      I have found that if the novel doesn’t have the sex in it, its not as good a story. I hate those ‘closed door’ novels! I cross that author off my list of TBR.

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    • Heidi – Dark Lover was my what got me hooked on romance too! Great series. The first romance I ever read was Shana Abe’s The Last Mermaid.

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  23. I’ve been gone all morning, so have lot to catch up on! Gina…( whispering), what DO you feed a diabetic ferret??
    I can imagine how hard it is to write smexy scenes! I’ve read a few that the whole time your thinking…wait, that’s physically impossible, or how did his hand get there, when her leg was up there? Of course, NONE of our BBL authors write like that!
    RM…love all the new cover pictures you have!!!! Gina I sent you an e-mail yesterday..it is NOT important, but I want to make sure you got it. No rush at all. XO

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    • OMG Pat! You have not fed Remy yet? Is he now in a diabetic coma?? If not, then give him his ferret food, you know, its under the kitchen cabinet. Make sure he eats before you give him the insulin, so you don’t put him in a diabetic come :grin:

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  25. I was very unhappy with RM this morning when I did a quick check of the website and found out he was GUEST BLOGGING!!! If I had known, I would have been up earlier so I could read and post on it!
    Anyway, It was a great subject RM and I loved that post.
    And Gina, you will always be the first author I knew who debuted there first book! (oh I mean their)

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  26. Well, I agree with everything Gina said and all the excellent comments from everyone else (except RM), but I always have something to say! As Gina and I mentioned in the previous blog post, we love male POV. And I think it is so important during love/sex scenes. I know it is a generalization but most women know before they sleep with a man whether this is going to be just fun or if maybe this guy could be the one because I already have feelings for him. Whereas, again a generalization, but men don’t always feel the need to gutcheck their feelings before sex. So there is nothing I love more than that moment during sex or right after, when the hero realizes that he isn’t just having sex, but is in fact making love, maybe for the very first time in his life. I don’t care if he panics and tries to pull away or if he goes all he man and says my woman. I just love that moment in the male psyche when he falls in love in the midst of lust.

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  27. Gina, great post. Obviously you know where I stand on the smokin’ hot sexy scenes. :-) And you can leave me out as well, since I already have SC on my new iPhone! (Yes, I have finally arrived–I’ve got a smart phone, but it’s smarter than me. Need to work on that.

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  28. As a writer of erotic romance, I agree with sex scenes enhancing characterization, furthering a relationship, abetting the plot, or some other reason to have an explicit love scene in a story. I love your example that removing the love scenes from a romance is like taking clues out of a mystery. Every time my characters make love, something happens, mentally or emotionally, to someone. And by damn, it happens many, many times in my stories LOL.

    I loved the excerpt on Amazon and love your voice, so count me in the running for your book. If I don’t win, it goes on my TBB list for sure.

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  29. Hi! Gina, well said!
    (Remember I already have your book. Have I told you lately, how much I liked it?)
    I love to think sex as a way to express feelings and make statements.
    I like romance and its sweet taste, and I’ve found good stories with sexy hot scenes and without them. That’s the wonder of some writers, they can choose the way to present the story, and make great pieces.
    My husband always teases me with the first sex dialogue I read in a romance novel. He gave me the book when we were still dating, back in 1997. He received it free by mail, and gave it to me because he knew it would tempt me, and he thought it would help me practicing English. The book is a historical romance (I still have it) and the dialogues are very fancy. I’d never read a sex scene on a book before that, and after a couple of days, (it took a lot of time for me to translated it) I was still shocked (I lived a very sheltered life).
    Since then, every time I tell him I want him naked, he says that I want to see “the glory of his manhood”.

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    • LMAO, Grettel that’s hysterical! Your husband has a great sense of humor. When I was in college, my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I would open my romance novels and laugh about the silly euphemisms, too. Thankfully, there aren’t many used anymore. We’ve evolved into preferring to use plain (and much dirtier, thank God) words as opposed to the flowery metaphors. :D

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  30. Dang it! That didn’t work. The “80″ was supposed to make my shocked face. :) oh well, I’ll stick to this one O.o

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    • Whoa, Sallie, are you for real?!?! That might be hands-down the best compliment about my sex scenes I’ve ever heard. Are you referring to one in particular? Now you’ve got me curious as to what specifically you thought I did right so I can make sure I continue to do it. LOL (you can email me the deets instead of responding on here if you want)

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      • Taken directly from my 8 pages of notes, book in ” “, me in [ ]

        “his breath feathered the drying strands tucked behind her ear…”
        [I'll do anything you tell me to]

        “The Look”
        [omg, I KNOW]

        random note, [after the most erotic oral scene I have ever read], and read is underlined twice

        “Time stood still the turning of the world ceasing in deference to their love making…”
        [I've been doing it wrong]

        and another sneak peak, [writers' greatest fear is to use recycled terms, Gina's vocabulary is not tapped out.]

        I swear Gina, I might just type these to you. That might be my review – transcribed notes. What more do I really need to say??

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  32. Ladies, thank you so much for visiting with me today, I had a blast! Again, thank you so much for being such wonderful supporters of my debut release. I hope you’ll be with me for a very long, successful writing career! Remy will post the winners of the 10 copies of Seducing Cinderella soon. Ciao, bellas. *squishes*

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  33. I finished SEDUCING CINDERELLA last night & absolutely loved it! I’ve recommended it to everyone I know. I can’t wait to read your next book!

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