It is Saturday night and my weekend has sucked so far. Friday night my wife was incredibly pissed at me for no good reason which I will get into later but she was really mad and spent the night ignoring me for the most part. So after my tenth and final apology (ten is my limit) I went to bed. This morning I woke up and checked my email and found this:
Subject: Because this is probably a bad idea….
Message Body:
When I don’t sleep, I make poor decisions. I feel certain this is one of those and I will regret it as soon as I click send. I always regret saying anything serious or complimentary to someone else because I am only comfortable with the funny. But it is 4am and I haven’t slept so….
Thank you for taking time away from your family and watching porn or whatever you like to do in your free time to write and manage this blog. I can only imagine that it must be incredibly time consuming. You are funny (and if you tell anyone I said this, I will deny it– you have a big heart) and your funny should be shared.
I have been told that it is a good idea to let someone know when they do something well. So there– I’ve told you. I have had a shitty week and will probably have to evict some organs from my body. It is difficult to interact with real people right now, but you pretend people are really fun to talk to 
Good job, grasshopper!
What did you see in that email? You know what I saw? “I HAVE HAD A SHITTY WEEK AND PROBABLY WILL HAVE TO EVICT SOME ORGANS FROM MY BODY”. Because of what I have been through when someone tells me they are having organs removed I think cancer, it is always my default assumption. So I emailed her back with a short “you are going to beat this” email. I won’t tell you who it was because I don’t want to embarrass her and I didn’t ask her permission to post this email. Fuck it her name on this blog is Ladybug, her name in real life is Sherri and she lives in Kansas City, MO and has a freckle on one of her nipples (I read all the comments).
My head was spinning and I immediately began game planning. I had promised my father I would come down and have breakfast with him so I had to leave. While driving I started thinking and formulating a plan:
I have been through this so I will call her husband and talk to him for support.
My wife is good at talking to kids so I will have her offer to talk to the baby bugs.
I will rally the BBL’s and we will start raising money. Diets don’t cure cancer but there is a diet out there that involves eating certain foods and taking certain vitamins and amino acids. It is a diet based on science and has to do with eliminating certain amino acids in your body and after ninety days the lack of this amino acid acts like a natural Chemotherapy. My mom tried it and it worked but by the time we found out about this it was too late for my sister. But like I said it is not a cure but it is based on science and can help along with traditional treatments. It is also very expensive and costs about $2,000 per month and is not covered by insurance companies.
My plan was simple. We get about 200-300k hits a month of which 20,000 to 30,000 are unique visitors. I will simply ask for donations and should easily be able to raise the necessary money. I would also start asking people to advertise on the site in case we didn’t get the donations we needed. Any money would be used for this treatment and any left over money would go to ovarian cancer research.
By the time I met my father at the IHOP (yes I fucking love IHOP) my plan was settled. When we sat down my dad started talking to me but I wasn’t really paying attention because my mind was wondering thinking about getting all of this organized and my dad noticed I wasn’t paying attention.
Him: What’s wrong?
Well the last thing my dad wants to here is about a young woman with cancer so I just said “nothing Lexie’s just pissed at me again”
Him: What did you do?
Me: Nothing, it’s stupid she’s all fucking hormonal and gets mad at the smallest things.
Him: What happened?
Me: Last night I forgot her middle name.
Him: What?!
Me: We were talking and I don’t know how we got on the subject but I couldn’t remember her middle name.
My father starts laughing hysterically and can’t stop. People in the IHOP (I fucking love IHOP) are staring and he can’t stop laughing. Finally he stops.
Him: How the hell could you not know your wife’s name?
Me: It’s her middle name and I do know it I just couldn’t recall it at that second. Then she started quizzing me about everybody’s fucking birthday and I was all flustered and couldn’t remember anything.
Anyway I went home and had an email from Ladybug. Turns out she is having a procedure done but she doesn’t have cancer and will hopefully live a long happy life.
This episode has inspired a new blog rule. If you email me and tell me you are having organs removed from your body you MUST explain why.
So do you like peanut M&M’s or regular M&M’s better?
LOL, I’m sorry.
Peanut M&M’s, hands down the only kind I eat.
I agree, Peanut.
Peanut!
Welcome to my life.
LOL. I hear you brother.
Uhm, she’s tweeting while margeriting, is that safe? LOL
Yeah I can’t wait to see the new email I get from her.
She’s gone all quiet on Twitter. Our poor little bug, she was probably so tired when she wrote that and didn’t proofread.
Do y’all get nervous when I get quiet (kind of like small, unattended children
)?
Ditto
Doodlebug is here.
You have a heart of gold RM.
Thanks but not really I just over react.
I know I shouldn’t LOL, but I have to. Hey, it’s better than crying, right?
Ladybug, you slay me, but I would have come to the same conclusion. I would immediately think cancer for the same reasons as you RM.
RM, you sure are one-big-hearted man. It’s not a hug, it’s a compliment, deal with it.
Peanut M&M’s of course, you get protein and anti-oxidants.
Also want to add, THANK GOD, it wasn’t cancer, and we can all laugh about it now.
Note to self: Never email anyone about any organs being removed. LOL
Good policy.
I did something similar to my husband after a doctor’s appointment, via text.
He was not amused. I hate texting, so I abbreviated things and it came out all wrong and scary.
Yeah that reminds me of something my wife did. She texted from the Dr.’s and said “look up this” it was something that ended in oma and scared the fuck out of me.
That’s what I did, and I abbreviated it to save time texting and I scared the holy crap out of him.
Who says technology saves time, it just confuses things.
I fucking love IHOP…oh and peanutbutter M&Ms
Being a Cancer survivor myself …I have trained all my friends/family to explain any and all medical procedures right up front
LOL I am glad you beat it.
So glad you beat it. I love to hear the survivor stories.
We don’t have IHOP in Canada, am I missing something?
Only the greatest restaurant in the world.
I’ll have to track one down next time we cross the border.
Selena, its kinda like Humpty’s and the like.
No Humpty’s here either. You’d think I lived in a hick town. LOL No Trader Joe’s, No, Whole Foods.
We’re the capital of the country!
Oh, that explains it then. You’re in the centre of the universe! Sorry, regional joke there. Okay no Humpty’s – how about Cora’s?
Let me guess, you’re a westerner?
Yes, we have Cora’s and I certainly get the center of the universe comment. LOL Where in Canukialand are you?.
I’m in Edmonton, Alberta. Yes, THAT Alberta. The centre of the axis of evil….
Ha! I knew you were in the west. I love all Canukians. I’ve been to your end of the country on my way to Victoria Island a few years ago.
I have a good friend who lives in Edmonton.
You probably have more restaurants and bigger stores than we do! Toronto has them all.
Lionmom– I should have been more sensitive in my email wording. I have friends who have battled/are battling cancer and lost my FIL to cancer. So happy to hear that you beat it.
Th last time I got really md at my hubby was about 5 years ago when I saw an email (no I was not exactly snooping as he’d left it open) between he and his best friend relating to a desire to clone Jennifer Aniston or some stupid remark like that. I was out of my mind pissed and started barraging him with email photos of her. (Jealous much??) I also threatened to burn my lingerie. The fit lasted about a week but I think I’m almost over it now.
LOL. That is much worse than forgetting a middle name. And Jennifer Aniston?
YUP! Can’t stand to look at her anymore!
I do not think she is attractive. I would have picked someone else to clone.
LOL!
You fucking suck, RM! I’m just kidding– you know I think you are one of the kindest people I have never seen. AGAIN I will apologize (for the record, BBLs, I already apologized 3 or 4 times) for scaring you. I honestly didn’t think you wanted to hear about my wonky uterus, but now that I know you do– get ready because oh the stories it could tell
.
Also– now that I know you read ALL of the comments, I will refrain from sharing any more freckledy details about my boobs
.
I can’t believe you forgot Lexie’s middle name! Seriously bad move, dude! I just asked Manbug what my middle name is and he got it right. It’s a good thing, too, because our daughter shares my middle name. I am surprised you didn’t put it on this post along with my social security number and bra size
You are just having a blast with the icons aren’t you?
I like to learn new things. Don’t judge me, huggy bear
.
huggy bear! that’s too funny and the shirt is awesome.
Huggy Bear -http://www.nme.com/photos/musicians-in-movies/122206/28/1
Maybe that should be our team shirt, but we could get them in MAUVE
Huggy bear is better than Gummy bear. Gummies are all soft aren’t they? LOL
FWIW, getting a wonky uterus removed is the most wonderful surgery known to womankind. It’s actually worth the six weeks w/o sex afterwards, because after that you’re ALWAYS okay.
I was 31 when mine went bye bye. I’m 62 now and not once have I missed that sucker or all the crap that went with it. And I’m sorry, RM, if that’s TMI, but it’s not something that should ever be scary.
Oh, and peanut m&ms all the way.
Thanks, Kate. It shouldn’t be scary, but it is. I think it is the combination of perimenopause/menopause at 35 AND the impending hysterectomy that sent me over the edge into email land. I don’t sleep much at all these days which is not normal for me and not conducive to good decision making or proper email etiquette evidently.
I will soon be 50 (eeeeegad) and had my partial hysterectomy when I was 34. The best damn thing I ever did and was the easiest surgery I have ever had. The perimenopause/menopause is a breeze compared to the hormonal ups and downs with the other. Don’t sweat it hon it is fabulous!!
Kate is right, Ladybug! I had mine out just awhile back and today I am so happy without it! When I could finally Snoopy Dance, I did!
Kate Douglas,
I was the exact same age, and I tell people, I’d rush to the hospital right now and have it done all over again if I could feel that much better from one little fist sized organ being removed.
Holy Moly!
Romance Man, you should try it! Ask your doctor if there is any male part that upon removal can garner the same excellent results! Don’t be left out of this wonderful experience! BTW, I adore your blog, RM, and I’m NOT having anything removed this week, at least.
I had mine removed at 37 and never looked back. Best. Thing. Ever!
OMG – I LOVE that you had a plan, and that you care so much about readers who have become friends. You are awesome.
You forgot her middle name – I give you credit for apologizing 10 times – and that you have a limit.
If my only choice was between chocolate or peanut M&Ms it would be chocolate – because honestly they have more chocolate. But lately I have liked the coconut M&M’s as a once and a while treat. I am in a coconut phase don’t know why…
LOL yeah I can’t imagine why.
OK my mind was not in the gutter, but now it is.
It all started when I discovered Coconut Almond Chip Ice Cream – I now crave coconut from time to time.
Damn I think you just ruined coconut for me.
PS the IHOP here sucks
Oh– I forgot to add that I prefer regular M&Ms but they should be microwaved for 30 seconds or until the shell begins to crack. Forced to eat room temperature M&Ms, I would pick peanut.
And in my defense (again), there are a lot of stops on the organ removal train that do not include cancer: appendectomy, gallbladder removal, lobotomy, etc.
You are not funny.
Oh, we both know I am, huggy bear! I am really liking that nickname. I think I will stick with it. You wrote about my freckledy nipple! I don’t even remember writing that, but it’s true so I know that I did. Damn margaritas!
Do not call me huggy bear.
RM, Remy, huggy bear, asshole….
ya know, RM, your gonna need a contact list to keep track of all of the nicknames you are accumulating….LOL
No problem, HB!
M&M’s tossed into air popped popcorn with hot spicy sauce, when I allow myself to indulge in carbs. Delicious!
Ladybug, I have to side with RM on this one, removing organs = WORRIED for a friend.
Yeah, Selena, I am starting to get that about the removing organs = WORRIED for a friend
. Evidently, that would be a standard response to the email I sent. I really was just trying not to bombard him with personal stuff he might not want to know. Now I know that the policy should be SHARE, SHARE, SHARE 
.
Finally someone else that microwaves plain M&M’s! My family thinks I’m nuts for doing it.
Microwaving M&Ms? Really? I have heard of mixing them with popcorn….but not that!
You are nuts, no one other than you two do that.
Kindred M&M spirit, Sassi. My family laughed until they tried them
Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it! 3:)
Great minds think alike LB!
OK why microwave the purpose of M&Ms is not to melt in your hand! Else just eat chocolate chips
I don’t know, but trust me it works. Try it– put some (8 or 9 handfuls
) M&Ms in a bowl and microwave on high for 30 seconds. It will change your life.
okay I will buy some and try it…I don’t have any M&Ms in the house…but I have mini peanut butter cups – those are my favs
See, now I have to go to the store. 8 or 9 handfuls. My sparkpeople.com food register will explode, but I don’t care. See y’all later! I need to shop and then microvwave my calories for the next three days.
Dude that freaking scare me if I got an email like that and I can totally make a game plan.
Second,mow could you forget your wife’s middle name and I can totally understand why she would be pissed off. I think it is hilarious that your father straight up laughed at you in IHOP. I don’t blame for loving IHOP. I think that is awesome.
Oh I prefer peanut M&M’s or any other M&M’S over regular. Dude did you know they made mint ones those are fantastic.
No I didn’t know that. I have never seen them
Lol. There in a fancier bag & in shades of green.
I hate peanuts and despise milk chocolate, but put them together and I will eat the SHIT out of those things!
That makes no sense. How could you like them?
No fucking clue. I just do.
LOL, Glad to hear Ladybug’s ok!
I’ve got to agree with her, you’re funny & I’m glad you share that with all of us.Thanks for the smiles! (btw, I fucking love IHOP too)
I’ve gotta know though, did you finally remember Lexie’s middle name??
And I’m sorry, but I’ve got to say peanut butter M&M’s are the best! (plain will do in a pinch though)
Yes I remembered her name it just caught me off guard at the time.
Peanut butter are the best!!!
My weekend was also sucking until I read this post. You are my absolute HERO! I swear, I just can’t wait to open this blog on a daily basis to laugh my ass off at every little thing u post. (BTW, I like Reese’s Pieces better than M&M’s)
Thanks Sophie. I can’t eat those, they remind me of ET which reminds of Aliens which reminds of Pluto and I am still mad about him being demoted.
hahahahahahah! hey, not with Pluto! Pluto ROCKS!
Ah, so the comment on FB now becomes clear. Still, I meant what I said there – thank God LB is all right.
And LB, of course he wouldn’t announce bra size or SSN – he cannot remember them even if you told him. Christ, he cannot remember the name of immediate family members!
And peanut M & Ms are by far the best.
I did remember her middle name Kermie it just took me a second.
Yeah, but you make one passing freckle comment and it is burned into his memory.
And I don’t remember the freckle comment. Maybe I caught RMs brain fart?
I don’t remember it either– how bad is that?
LOL it is funny the things I remember and the things I don’t.
And Kermie– and my comment on FB makes me looking like an unsympathetic bitch until you know the story (and then I just look like an unsympathetic bitch
.
I felt so bad about upsetting all day. I am over it now that I have read this blog post
The plan that you were making was incredible. I have had a few scares myself with mammograms and one chest x-ray. It was terrifying for me and even more so for my husband (who was talking taking himself out if anything was found). I find myself avoiding annual exams out of fear, but I ultimately go because the fear of not going is even greater.
If there is anything I can do to help you with raising funds for research, I’d love to help.
Peanut
Thanks Kim!
I didn’t text Manbug asking him to look up any -omas, but I did ask him for the doctor’s office phone number. I had been sitting on that stupid bed (it is uncomfortable because there is no back support and if you lay down then that is weird) for over an hour with my ass hanging out and waiting on the doctor. I didn’t want to go to the door and look for anyone because MY ASS WAS HANGING OUT! So he texted me the number and I called the front desk and said, “Excuse me, I am in room 3 and don’t have any pants on. How long will it be until the doctor can see me? I have been waiting an hour”. She showed up less than 5 minutes later.
That is funny. My Dr. could care less about me and gets me in and out as soon as possible. He just gives me the drugs i want and sends me on my way. I love him.
It’s because you don’t have a uterus. Have you learned nothing from Lexie?
Know I haven’t what does that have to do with it.
Uteri (that’s the plural– I looked it up) are confusing. In order to properly assess one, the patient must be kept at an ambient temperature of less than 60 degrees F (that’s 15 degrees C, Canadians) while wearing a paper gown and sheet for at least 30 minutes.
15 degrees C??1 Fuck, that’s cold! I’d be hauling the dr in if I had to wait in that temp!
RM first off I just asked my hubby what my middle name is; he answered correctly. Then he started rattling off birthday’s, anniversaries, first day we met, what I was wearing blah, blah, blah. Then he asked me……….uhhhhhhhh, yep u
Guessed it, dog house! But I did think you were very sweet to jump to ladybugs aid!!!
Well middle names are stupid it’s not like I ever call her by it and it has been so long since I thought about it. I didn’t think it was a big deal.
Manbug doesn’t even have a middle name so I am in the clear
moral of this post…I got three quarters of the way through reading and interrupted my hubby’s James Bond marathon to ask him my middle name.
He gets a pass on the birthdays and anniversaries test because he remembers those things better than I do. And never fails to rub it in.
I’m glad LadyBug gets to keep all her organs and that you, RM, cared enough to formulate a plan.
Did he get it right?
Yep…without even looking away from the TV. He’s a master of multi-tasking when James Bond is on.
OH! And plain M&Ms are the only way to go.
Dude, welcome to the madness that is Ladybug’s world. Manbug & I just try not agitate her & bring out the Ginger in her. BTW she did call me this morning to confess about the email she sent. I must confess I laughed at her and was moved to tears by your response. Lexie, you are the BEST.
All the “Bugs” love IHOP. I like the dark chocolate M&Ms right out of the freezer
Now, how to keep LB away from the computer at night….Oval, that’s your job. I answer emergency medical question, you handle computer stuff.
I am taking my freckledy nipple and going to bed. I have reached the sleepy stage of margarita consumption. Thank you for the happy thoughts, well wishes, and many laughs. Good night, peeps!
Night LB &MB (oval).
Night all.
Night, LB and I’m so glad to see that you can now convert Farenheit to Celcius.
Sleep well and hope there’s no hang over waiting for you in the morning.
Selena– Google can do ANYTHING
. It is 4am and I slept 3.5 hours– no hangover, but this insomnia is kicking my ass.
RM – I fucking love IHOP too. Nutella Crepes are amazing. But the closest one is two hours away, so I’m saved from myself.
LB – I hope you and your wonky uterus have a better week next week. And I’m saying a prayer for you.
I like my M&Ms baked in a cookie.
Thank you, Steffanie. The Nutella crapes are awesome. I know everyone goes for breakfast, but they have a ham and egg sandwich that is AMAZING.
My son (who loves pancakes) only ever orders a plain hamburger and fries there.
COMMIE!!!
Ladybug, glad to hear it’s only a wonky uterus.. I had one of those, but I got the doc to cut that bitch out..
RM, middle names are not stupid.. I can’t stand my first name so I go by my middle name.. I think it’s great that your so caring and came up with such a great plan to want to help. Kudos to you..
By the way peanut butter M & M’s
mcook– eviction notice has been served. We are just have one extra stop on the journey then kicking it to the curb. It is really nice to know that there is a whole group of people here with experiences to draw on.
Of course he would remember the freckle part, Ladybug you mentioned a nipple, that’s why
But awesome of you to have planned all that to help out a friend!
I don’t do peanut M&M’s, only would as a last choice…my favorite are dark chocolate M&M’s
I know, Eva. Even the men who claim not to be boob guys are mesmerized by the mention of nipples. You could just say nipple and follow it anything and they would remember. Hey! I think I will try that next time I need Manbug to remember something
.
First off I am happy Ladybug is okay!
RM, I love how in the face of cancer that you had a strategy all planned out to help. You really are such a great person! Even if you can’t remember your wife’s middle name
Now I also agree IHop is awesome – best pancakes!
Oh, and Peanut M&M’s all the way
Okay I posted when there was like 5 came back about 30minutes later and 85 – Wow LadyBug is a draw!
It’s the nipple
I think it has more to do with you.
LBug – my mom had hers out in her twenties – I was about 6 – then as far as I am concerned she promptly forgot what it was like to have PMS or cramps. I ‘ll send you are care package of books when you have surgery!
I am so glad that LB will be okay. The uterus stuff sucks. I had my share, fortunately still have the organ, not that it works, but hey, its still present and accounted for.
I agree that RM is a big hearted person. I am continually impressed by his stream of thought on this blog. I look forward to hearing from him everyday as well as the BBL responses. One more good reason to get out of bed in the morning.
LG– Congrats on keeping the uterus. I had high hopes for keeping all of my organs (I still have my tonsils). I wonder if they would be willing to take anything extra out in on big swoop (appendix, gallbladder, etc).
Bug,
I had a hysterectomy at 37, It was the Worst sugery I ever had but one of the best decisions I ever made! About a year later, my Mom was diagnosed with Uterine Cancer…. she got it all taken out, did the radiation and now all is good….of coarse in her mind it will come back….. but we stay positive about it.
I lost all my organs and don’t have my tonsils either…..but I think my hormonal state of being is just fine….. (Of coarse, the 4 guys I live with might challenge that statement!)
OH, and PEANUT M&M all the way!
Tracy– thanks for telling me that . It does help to know how many women come out the other side of a hysterectomy so much better than before it.
Ladybug, if I had a second uterus, I’d join you! We’d be roomies in the hospital. You will feel so much better. I didn’t even need pain medication my pain level was down so much… and this was from the minute I woke up and could talk… in recovery. They insisted on giving me morphine until I made it to my room and convinced my doctor. He had them hook up the morphine drip, but I didn’t use it. I’m not brave, nor do I like pain. It’s just I hurt sooooo much less.
When my husband told me his mom was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis I freaked. We were sick with worry and headed straight over to her house for support. Turned out she maybe had osteoporosis. He got it wrong and I coulda killed him, that scared the crap out of me.
For what it’s worth, Steffanie, I’ve had multiple sclerosis for almost thirty years. I’m a klutz, but it’s not always a death sentence.
And I didn’t even KNOW they made peanut butter M&Ms. yuck.
When my husband and I were married about one year, he developed blurry vision in one eye. When I realized he still had the problem 3 weeks later and hadn’t done anything about it, we had a wtf moment and I made an appointment with an eye doctor. The doc couldn’t find anything physically wrong with his eye, so he told us he had either MS or a BRAIN TUMOR. He had an MRI and we had to wait about a week for the results. When we found out he had MS it was quite a relief! Funny thing about perspective.
steffanie-
Your husband’s medical term mix up reminds me of an old joke.
Husband answers the phone and dutifully takes a note. Wife comes home and reads the note-Doctor’s office called Pabst Beer is OK. Can you figure out what the message was???
Pap smear
Peanut are better.
Best wishes to you Ladybug, whatever your issue is and to RomanceMan, you’re a lovely person.
Wow! RM, you rock! And I will be sure not to email you about any medical issues. Thankfully we were not friends a year ago when I had to tell my friends that I almost died. Lol!
And ladybug, I am so happy that you do not have cancer! Also love RM’s new name.
Lionmom, so happy that you are cancer-free!
And dark chocolate mint M&Ms, a new fave of mine.
He REALLY loves to be called Huggy Bear! Don’t let his protests fool you.
I think in this case, it is doth protest too much!
Peanut M&M’s-all time favorite comfort food.
My mom (years ago) called me at work to tell me of her cancer diagnosis…talk about freaking out. Still hadn’t recovered 5 years later when my husband was diagnosed. I, too have a stated policy that all medical procedures, diagnosis (es) must be clear, concise and accomplished in one sentence. No exceptions. My nerves can’t handle it any other way.
Oh, and that name thing? Pissed is when your spouse calls you by their former spouse’s name. That is pissed.
Oh shit that is bad
Why limit yourself? Plain, peanut, pretzel, coconut, raspberry and they has mocha flavored M & M’s for awhile. All delicious.
*had*
You’re a good man, RM. And also very lucky that Lexie didn’t bean you with a frying pan. Hormones are dangerous little suckers. They turn perfectly normal women into…well, NOT perfectly normal women. Be very, very afraid.
I know and I am
Sorry about your sucky weekend RM, hope it’s gotten better. I love that you were so ready to help LB. Some people wouldn’t jump that quickly to help a “real life” friend (for want of a better term) let alone one from a blog. You might call it overreaction, but I do think it’s more likely that big heart thing
IHOP is awesome! Peanut buttter m&ms from the fridge are the bomb. Congrats on the successful use of those thought provoking questions at the end of your blog. They seem to be working!
Thanks and the question thing is a great idea, can’t believe it took me so long to figure out
You really do have a big heart RM and your a good person. I have done what you did my friend Teri came to see me and when she got to my house I could not remember her name for the life of me lol.
And I love peanut m&ms
Sometimes your brain freezes. Happens to me all the time
Oh, Mr. RM! You are such an alpha man, looking for a way to fix what is wrong, and making plans. You didn’t overreact, you just are most sensitive about the subject than others. But what you were planning to do, was from the kindness in your heart. It was incredibly nice. Since I’ve started to read this blog I feel my hope in mankind has been somewhat restored.
I asked my husband about my middle name and he used his usual joke (he called me the name that my siblings wanted to named me). He doesn’t have problem remembering it, he just doesn’t remember everything else I told him.
I, sometimes, get very angry at him because of simple things that I wonder how can he stand me.
Hey, Ladybug, I like you very much. You say funny things, you are very smart, and you’re able to talk about anything. I’m so glad that you don’t have to face cancer.
One of these days I’ll tell you about my wonderful older sister and her experience with cancer.
M&M’s… they are all delicious.
And I’ll make sure that I remember to explain about any body organ’s eviction that I would write about in an email.
Grettel– thank you. That was really kind of you to say. I clearly need to establish some boundaries and filters
.
Thanks Grettel
I’m glad your okay Ladybug! And peanut m&m’s for me.
I’ve had a similar situation, only my husband was asked when my birthday was, and he didn’t even get the right month! Yeah he paid for that one
And I agree with everybody else, you are awesome, RM
Thanks, Sheri. Did you know one of the r’s fell out of your name? Just so you know
.
You don’t by chance work as a mammography tech in Missouri? I had a very brief semi-lesbian experience when I got a mammogram a couple of weeks ago and her name was Sheri…….
Alas it wasn’t me that gave you your semi-lesbian experiance, I live all the way down under in little old NZ, currently surrounded by farmland, sheep and a few cows lol.
And nothing fell out lol, this Sheri has always just had the one r, and is a shortened version of my full name
Thanks Sheri
Ok, rule number one: When dealing with someone who has had to deal with cancer on any level, be specific when mentioning any medical diagnosis. You will scare the living shit out of them if you don’t. Friend of mine came to me crying after blood work last year saying it was bad. Really bad. “Cancer?” I asked. Ready to help her any way I could. “Diabetes.” she said. I ran my hand through my hair and said. “Oh, that’s a relief.” I replied. She just stared at me and laughed, knowing my history, she understood. (I know diabetes sucks as well, but it’s not cancer)
RM, you are a good man with a good heart.
Ladybug, I’m glad your ok and are still packing around most of your vital organs even if they had to demolish your children’s first apartment.
Peanut of course.
My children’s first apartment — I LOVE that!
I agree Heidi I believe whenever you are going to tell someone you are sick it should start with “don’t worry I don’t have cancer”
I hear you.
I’ve got it, I’ve got it.
Wouldn’t know. Don’t eat chocs.
don’t know what the fuck type of restaurant an IHOP is either.
Lucie– International House of Pancakes (IHOP). It serves all things breakfast related and some lunch and dinner food, too. I think most of them are open 24 hours a day.
They have a pot roast sandwich that is incredible
Okay…so I’ve finally calmed down to finally comment on this.LadyBug am so glad you’re alright and thank you so much for sending that email cz it led to RM posting this and cheered me up which I badly needed after a sixteen hour work day.
RM you really are a good guy & kudos to you for thnkng of ways you can help. Any chance your dad is one of those unique visitors? He might be reading this & connecting all the dots you know
About your question, I don’t know cz I don’t eat M& M’s.
No Rahab my dad doesn’t know about this site and how can you not eat M&M’s?
Yes I know he doesn’t. I was just creating that scenario in my head & imagining him reading this & realizing Oh my thts my f****ng son!!
Anyhow, yes I don’t eat M & Ms among other things like cheese, bacon, ice-cream etc. The list is quite long but I won’t bore you with it. Yeah life here has been quite an adventure!
Well, Rahab– it is nice to know that my uterus still has some use. Happy to hear that my sleep-deprived ramblings helped
.
RM, you are such a sweatheart. Ladybug, glad its not cancer.
At the ripe old age of 23, after 2 kids and tubes tied, I started to have pain when having sex. So, the doc says, ” just close your legs a little to prevent him from going so deep.” ok whatever. As time went by it just got to the point were I didn’t want sex, necause it would feel like someone was punching me in the vagussy. DH was very upset thinking I didn’t want him,and all that.
The pain sometimes had me crawling to the bathroom afterwards. It sucked ass, being young and wanting sex but afraid it was going to hurt.
So I went to a different doc. I was 25.That was the most embaressing and best exam ever! I explained what was happening, and after the regular stirrup exam he says,” stand up” and checks me that way. After that, he looks at me and says, ” well your uteris is falling out. So when you are having sex, it is like it is getting punched,and bruised. So, we will just take it out, since you don’t want anymore kids.” i also found out it was part due to endometriosis and fibroid tumors.
That 4 day hospital stay was the best vac. Ever! The 6 weeks no sex was bad. But afterwards, yehawwww!
during sex
Oh, all M&M’s are good
Thanks granny and that first Dr. should lose his license. Who says something like that?
I agree with RM that Dr should lose his license! Unfortunately, back then (70′s?) male doctors were not nearly so clued in to female problems. Its good thing what you had was not malignant – that quack missed a diagnosis.
Lol! LG! That was ’89. I’m only 46! Don’t make me to old!
Yeah, he was wrong, but when your young you just go with the flow. Now, i would have gone to as many docs it took to be satisfied.
After my daughter was born, I had to fight to get them to tie my tubes. I was only 22. Their argument, you are to young,what if 1 kid dies, or if I want more.
My answer… I have 1 boy and 1 girl thats all I want, I do’t want to be on BC anymore, 5yrs was long enough.plus I smoke. It took the whole pregnancy and and a few months before he finally agreed to do it.
You want to know another benefit? I have not had to get a pelvic exam in 20yrs! They took the cervix so don’t need to check that. They removed the uterus vaginally. I was able to keep my ovaries and now good old Mother Nature is being a bitch!
Geez….I’m 56 and feeling like a fossil….
Granny– I have never understood why some women have to fight so hard against their doctors to take control of their reproductive health. I am all for informed consent, but once you are informed and the questions have been answered it is the woman’s decision.
LOL…crazygranny–I was 31, but yeah. Best thing ever getting that sucker out. And must admit, we DID become very innovative during the six weeks.
Lol Kate. We sure did. And also, a few trips to the ” toy” store!
RM fucking love IHOP too! Red Velvet Pancakes are the shit!
Ladybug…glad your ok and glad to hear of your semilesbionic mamogram (My mother is a BC survivor)
Oh….Regular M&M’s (I hate peanuts in/on anything)
Thanks Casey, IHOP rules
Thank you, Casey. I really like that term “semilesbionic mammogram”
.
Firstly glad it’s not cancer and good luck for the op LB (oh and thanks for explaining what IHOP is!)
RM I thought your plan was/is brilliant and just because LB doesn’t need the help shouldn’t stop us all from donating to Cancer Research in whatever form. I’m sure everyone on here had been affected by that awful disease somehow!
Oh yeah – I like crispy M&M’s
what the fuck is a crispy M&M
“crisp rice centres in a milk chocolate shell” they come in a blue bag!
Crispy M&Ms rock!
Thanks Sara, I will soon have a donate button on this site. Cancer sucks.
I went to bed at midnight, and woke up to this ! Thank you LB for the notice!
1st, you did mention a freckle on your breast when having a mammogram. You must have been so overwhelmed by your semi- lesbian experience you forgot you mentioned it.
Having a hysterectomy is not a fun thing, but I think I can safely say you will rejoice when It’s gone! If it’s not working properly it can cause all kinds of scary, messy, problems. It’s hard to believe that hormones, or lack of, can cause such severe bitchiness! RM, I just want you to know that if I have a problem, I definitely want you on my side!
Now as far as husb. remembering facts. Everytime he has to fill some form or application out, he will yell to me, “Is it Ann with an ” e” or without?” my middle name is Anne. What Patricia does not have Anne for a middle name. There is a LOT of us out there. Anyway, after 40 years it’s no big deal.
So, I hope you will invite us all to your uterus eviction party!!
Mix of plain and peanut M&M’S…………..
Thanks Pat
You’re right, Pat. Every Pat, Patty, or Patricia I know has the middle name Ann. It’s like everyone I know named Misty had the middle name Dawn. Weird…
That email would have freaked me out too. Glad Ladybug is alright–well almost alright
35 is young to be going through that.
M&Ms don’t do anything for me.
My hubby forgets birthdays and anniversaries but not my middle name, but it’s an easy one!
I forget everything
I love IHOP too and that would be plain M&Ms for me….by the way your game plan was awesome.
Thanks Cecilia
Not sure what it says about me that when I read the part about her body ejecting organs that I thought, “Huh. Weird,” and moved along. So definitely kudos to you RM for paying attention and making a plan. You’re a good friend and a good person.
I knew a guy once who we would tease/torture by asking his wife’s name…his wife’s FIRST name. It never failed to make him freeze up. And was maybe foreshadowing about their marriage coming to an end.
Thanks for the plain M&M microwave tip, LB. I like plain M&M’s when the inside gets melty. Good luck on the medical front. And remember that anesthesia and pain meds can lead to (unremembered) odd emails and Facebook posts, so you might ask MB to keep you away from the internet. On the other hand, we might find out more interesting and fun-filled facts.
Jamie– the pain meds could make for some fun times on the internet
. Watch the blog and your inboxes, ladies.
LB, glad you’re ok. I have a wonky uterus too and it sucks. I also have a freckle on one of my nipples…er..ok that’s kind of an awkward thing to announce lol.
RM, YOU ROCK! I think it’s awesome that you had a game plan. Has Lexie forgiven you yet for the middle name thing?
Definitely peanut M&M’s but I’ve really been digging the coconut M&M’s lately.
Thanks Stephanie yes she has forgiven me
Stephanie– we could be our own little wonky uterus, freckledy nipple subgroup
Awww Huggy Bear that was so sweet. I think it’s amazing that you immediatley formed a plan to help.
I fucking love IHOP too. Regulare MMs all the way. I’m the kind of girl who prefers plain food and exotic men. i’m just saying
Thanks Zombie. Please don’t call me huggy bear.
I’ll try to control myself but it’s so very tempting and I have control issues.
Also, I don’t understand the big deal about forgetting the middle name. She doesn’t go by her middle name so it’s not like you are screaming it during sex.
THANK YOU!!!!
Okay now I owe you $5 for posting that, ZK (I love that I can abbreviate your name on here like that
).
Haha does that make the other one the OZK?
Absolutely! Does O stand for old or odd– because either will work
I was thinking “original” but old might fit their household better
Oh yeah – I agree cancer sucks
Yes it does.
First off: I read only the first part of RM’s blog and immediately the catholic gene made me light a candle for our dear LB. I then came back and read the rest and I’m thankful that it’s not more than an ordinary surgical procedure – yet surgery is surgery so the candle gets to burn itself out. I’ve managed to be lucky enought (or not) to keep those parts and pieces intact to this age of 56. Note to RM: menopause is a bitch that can render a woman very forgetful…..it could come in handy some day that you know this but you’ll also fear for your balls so you’ll need a hiding place…….
Personally; I kept the woman parts but had to lose my thyroid so damned if we don’t all get some defective parts.
RM: you are as usual DA BOMB. You were ready to jump in and help a friend. Yes: thy name be sensitive man. If you put more stuff on here to raise money for good causes count me in. I see you have an Amazon link and that is now my link for Amazon purchases.
Anyway….we now have your number RM. You are gooey….soft…..sensitive…..and all man.
How do I like my M & M’s? Isn’t there a romance novel out about the M & M twins? That would be my favorite and wouldn’t I like to find out if they’d melt in my hands………..
LOL Thanks Skeletor
Awww… SV– you are so thoughtful. I appreciate the candle and the kind thoughts.
RM, you’re awesome for thinking about ways to help LB (even tho she doesn’t have cancer..thank GOD). Cancer is the BIG SCARY, 3 of my family members have survived it. As far as the middle name thing…eh!..not great, but it happens..at least it wasn’t the anniversary or BD. I had a bad experience at an IHOP…sooo…(shrugs)..plain M&M’s for me. Love your blog.
Thanks Anita
LB just want to say I am sorry about the op because whatever it is a major op’s never a walk in the park. Cancer related or not.
How many pairs of shoes do you have?
Luci…speaking of shoes, did you see on my page the picture of my ” blingy” sandals , and I was wearing Gina’s anklet for Seducing Cinderella! I can’t wear your shoes, but my sandal are pretty hot.
BTW, RM, you could get Lexie an anklet for making up!!! They are really pretty.
Sorry, blog turned back to you RM…and I am curious too, how many pairs of shoes Luci!
Sadly not as many as i’d like. Maybe 15 pairs this summer.
Make that 23 pairs this summer.
Yep Pat, love your blingy flats and also love the anklet! Is it on sale?
I checked out your flats, Pat, love the bling! Must make myself an anklet bracelet for the summer.
I make jewelry as it helps me to relax and also gives my creativity a boost.
Thanks, Lucie. I think I will go shoe shopping this week. Anything is a good excuse to shoe shop, right?
LB – Glad you are (relatively) okay & good luck with the surgery. It might not be cancer but it’s still not fun.
RM – (1) Ten apologies is rather impressive. Kindle Guy loathes apologizing & he totally sucks at it. (2) You’re a good man. (3) My 5YO son went into an IHOP coma the last time we were there–fell asleep face-first into his plate of chocolate chip pancakes. I still have the picture. And (4) dark M&Ms all the way. More chocolate, more yum.
That is funny because whenever I leave IHOP I want a nap
Did RM eat low carb at IHOP?
Thanks, Kindle Gal. I have never had surgery on my person. I say that and people look at me funny. I had foot surgery once, but the foot is so far away from your torso that I don’t think that counts
.
Ok, I’ve been working really hard on my body and staying away from sweets. I’ve already planned to make a coconut pie next week when I’m on vacation now I’ve put peanut butter M&Ms on my grocery list for our road trip. I’m weak and I’m blaming all of you!
Ooh put the M&M’s in the cake
Steffanie– I think this blog is making me gain weight. We made Granny’s chicken pot pie last week and a coconut cake. I am very susceptible to food suggestions.
Ladybug, glad to hear it isnt cancer. I unloaded my uterus at 35. It was really a good deal for me. For whatever strange reason it leveled out my high blood pressure and I didnt have to take medication anymore. The best thing is not having to deal with that monthly thing! Uhhmm might be TMI but sex got even better too. So good luck and I really hope you have the positive experience I did.
RM you are awesome to jump in and have a game plan for helping out, I’m glad it wasnt necessary to impliment your strategy but its good to know you have one
IHOP is awesome and peanut M&M’s!
Thanks R
R– Hey that’s how old I am so hearing that really helps. I am starting to get the impression that kicking this thing to the curb is going to turn out great for me
.
Well, glad you are okay, Ladybug. Reading this was turning my stomach until it got to the good part. In terms of writing, RM, you really built up the drama. Good job. Well played and well done. Any other guy would have written: I got this email, panic ensued, plans made, then found out it wasn’t what I thought. End of story.
But – yes I have another point. I have two sons and honestly, I don’t care what anyone says – men are just as emotional as women and can go from zip to 100 in less than a nano second. So we women of integrity do not want to intentionally toy with their emotions, esp our dear, sweet, emotionally macho romance man – because, before you know, we’ve got a MASH hospital set up with no triage!
Trudy I will be sending your book soon, sorry I am behind. Not sure I totally agree on the emotion thing. We certainly can be emotional but my wife is fucking nuts. One minute it is evil Lexie and the next it is angel Lexie. I can flip out fast but not like her. And I know so many men who are completely emotionless.
Sometimes we need to know our man is listening. You do know it really wasn’t about the middle name. You are romanceman not literalman. similar to losing an organ isn’t about body mechanics. it’s about the possibilities of changing your womaninity. You’ve evolving but God’s not finished with you yet.
It wasn’t about her middle name?
what she believes in is very important to her and she doesn’t forget them – and she wants that importance reflected back from you – that you believe that what she believes in also what is most important. She needs that reassurance that you are both on the same wavelength.
I need a drink
The completely emotionless men, are called sociopaths.
Lexie’s mood swings, part of being a writer. Get used to it and it’s not that bad.
I agree about the sociopaths. I know some scary dudes and it is impossible to know what they are thinking.
You probably don’t want to know what they are thinking. They are missing the chemical in their brains that allows for empathy.
They cannot be reformed or fixed.
Not all sociopaths are dangerous, some of them are CEO’s and politicians.
Sorry, I could go on and on about this. I had to research a paper once, and it was damn scary what I found out during my research.
But I still maintain and will believe, pink glasses firmly on, the majority of people are good and kind.
RM, funny, after my conversation with my husband this morning as we sat in our garden, he is saying he needs a drink as well.
He doesn’t even drink! LOL
Was that before or after the discussion about growing a few inches? Bwahahaha
LOL Granny, that was during the discussion, because, well… I just wouldn’t let it go.
He has a great sense of humor, thankfully.
I don’t know if you have balls of steel or if you are just that dumb. You must be super confident that Lexie is too busy to read all of these comments. It is okay if she makes comments or jokes about her evil twin. It is NEVER okay if you do it. Good grief– you and MB really need to work on these things if y’all want to live through this
.
And just to clarify– sometimes is is about the fucking middle name. It doesn’t have to make sense. It just is.
Go away.
Have you ever heard the admonition, “Don’t poke the bear”? I’ll wait while you look up “admonition”.
That would be good advice to follow at home and when talking to me.
How do you add little devil horns to the emoticon? That way RM will know who he is dealing with before he steps in it. lol
Type these without spaces
: twisted :
: evil :
: roll :
As someone who can go from nice McEckK to nasty McEckK I can say sometimes I don’t know it is happening and I have this feeling after as “what just happened” . I for one feel like shit after
It is like an out-of-body experience, isn’t it? I tried to give MB a blanket apology with no expiration date. I don’t think that is going to work
.
Trudy– thank you. I knew how the story ended and he still had me in knots.
My favorite part about this post and this blog is that all the regulars seem like a family. That RM would seriously consider donations for Lady Bug is wonderful. That almost every comment on this post is about Lady Bug’s health is even more amazing.
This is what gains my independent hit each post.
Heads up, RM. EVERYONE will start emailing you about needing money for their cancer treatments. People you don’t know, people with pictures of their children and people with emails that read “Ihavecancer@aol.com”. Seriously. No good deed, man
Sallie my wife said the same thing. If people email me and truly need help I will try.
Good to know she mentioned it! I kinda felt like Debbie Downer after I clicked “Post Comment”
I think everyone who is involved with non-profit organizations and charitable work has this running through their head at one time or another. But I still believe it’s the minority who would lie about something to take advantage.
I agree with Lexie and Musing Sally and my personal philosophy is this: If I help someone who I truly believe is in need and then I find out they were dishonest about it, then shame on them and they have to live with the dishonesty, not me.
That is so very true. If that happens the person has done more harm to themselves than to others
I agree.
Sallie– I have to say that reading these comments is overwhelming– in a really good way. This is a very unique and amazing group of peeps.
That’s because we all love the romance genre.
First, y’all are the sweetest people I kind of know. Thank you all for the well wishes and encouragement. To those of you who have been through a hysterectomy, you may regret telling me when I come to you with questions
.
Second, DIANE?!!?!?! Where are you and Mary Ann? RM is being mean to me.
Night all. Drowned my exhaustion by inhaling almond krustini. Going to watch Pillars of the Earth finally. Have a great Sunday.
Needed this laugh. Did you say MnM’s? If they’re milk chocolate I don’t care what kind they are they’re mine.
>:->
I vote Peanut M&Ms!
Glad LadyBug will be okay! Been there, done that!
<:<
Hi Ladybug, I am so glad you are here!! You are too cool to lose from the planet
Well, its July 15, and NO Seducing Cinderella . . . **tapping fingers**. Gina Leigh Maxwell, we are waaaiiiittting
Did you see her latest post LG? It doesn’t come out now till the 20th……
Something to do with Entangled’s launch or something! I agree, I REALLY want to read it!!!!
I know Pat, I am rubbin’ it in
Thanks, LG. The feeling is definitely mutual. I’m not going anywhere. I have to stick around to keep making up new nicknames for Huggy Bear. He loves them so
.
Oh, Ladybug! I am sorry you have to go through this, but I know everything will work out all right in the end! I hope the surgery goes smoothly and that you’re feeling right as rain in no time!
I want to send you M&Ms for your recovery. I like peanut butter ones. And the new mint ones – have you tried those?
Thank you, Elisabeth. I think chocolate can help heal surgical incisions
.
Oh, it can. First think I ate after my gallbladder was removed? A piece of chocolate. Honestly, it hit the spot.
I love that! Note to self– have chocolate handy in recovery room
Cheese dip from my favorite Mexican restaurant cures all post surgical incisions/bruising/soreness. True story.
Will you bring me some?
Claro que si!
Oh my, Zombie Killer, do you speak spanish?
Claro que si! HAHA I speak enough Spanish to get into a lot of trouble but not enough to talk my way back out of it.
Just enough to end up married or in jail, right ZK?
Oh! is it more like a mexican cheese induced way to speak? well, I’m not going to get you into trouble, so speak Spanish all you want with me. And one day you’d have to try Costa Rican fresh cheese…mmm…
Actually I believe it was Farsi that almost got me married.
Thanks Grettel. You might regret that when LB and I practice our Spanish on you. That sounds kind of kinky when I put it that way.
Don’t worry. It won’t be worse than my English. And let Mr. RM imagine whatever he wants about your kinky remarks. I think he’d like them.
Awesome. Now I have to go look up “blow job” in Spanish. I think that will get his attention.
We like to live life on the edge by practicing our Spanish in questionable circumstances
Oh my! do you think he would ban me if I write the word here. I don’t want to cause some international conflict because of my lacks on blogging etiquette. I’m already out of his grace because, once I started cursing, I couldn’t stop.
Go for it! Considering how often blow jobs get mentioned on this site I don’t think he cares what language we use…except maybe braille
Ok, you asked for it. (giggles) The more used word is “mamar” that mean “suck”. So, if a naughty boy wants you to give him a blow job, he would look at you with bedroom eyes and he would tell you: ¿chiquita, quiere popi?, that would be something like:”baby, do you want a lollipop?”
I love you, Grettel! That was awesome! If he hasn’t banned some of the rest of us, you are totally in the clear.
LOL. we’ll see if he really reads all comments.
FFS I can’t find my comment I wrote. Guess the comment approver didn’t approve it. :/
Hey Tyhada I only found one comment from you in moderation. Now that it is accepted it won’t happen anymore
I’m a registered nurse…when my Dr said I had something going on with my thyroid…..I was scared. I cried for what seemed forever. Truth be told….everyone is at least a little scared when they have to undergo a procedure. It’s understandable. Ladybug…big HUGS for you. Romance guy…..you’re beyond sweet to think of your friend.
Thank you, you give me hope for the opposite sex. As for forgetting your wife’s middle name… her beauty struck you dumb and you weren’t able to think of anything except how beautiful she is! Am I right? That was what happened!?
Maria,
I don’t have my Thyroid either….. but my procedure was the HUGE pill out of a LEAD PIPE! Not having a thyroid is the worst….when levels aren’t right, everything is messed up!
I don’t always remember PK’s middle name. It’s a weird ass middle name, so logically I should always remember it, but since I rarely ever use it… well, I don’t always remember.
I’m sorry to hear that Ladybug is going through medical issues right now but it’s wonderful to know that she has someone like you in her corner. What a wonderful friend to have.
PS: I love IHOP too. PK teases me for it because there’s a better place across the street, but I grew up on IHOP and I just LOVE IT.
Well, real life has let me up for air.
All’s well that ends well, yes? And prayers and good thoughts are never wasted. Someone always needs them. And LB found lots of support and good advice.
OK, enough of the nice shit. Let’s talk about the hilarity of RM teaching e-mail etiquette. This is an example of an e-mail conversation with him.
I will write out a 4 or 5 paragraph e-mail detailing all aspects and angles of something and end up with, “So what do you think? A, B, or C?”
I swear to God, this is his response: OK.
So I stare at it awhile, scratch my head, try to see if he indented it 2 or 3 spaces and maybe that is a clue, and finally decide to throw out the one choice that probably appeals to him the least, and simplify things.
I type back: So is it A or B?
RM: Yes, that one.
Now, maybe he means B because if he meant A he would have said this instead of that……
Me: So you like B then?
RM: Jeez, that’s what I said! What’s your problem?
(except he doesn’t use capitals, punctuation, or even all the required words sometimes.)
RM? E-mail etiquette?
Pot, meet Kettle.
Ok
OK?!
Which one are you? The pot or the kettle?
Exactly.
Diane, that is typical man-speak-text-email. One or two words, three words if it’s a verbose day for them.
Thank God, Diane! I missed you! I love that you are calling him on his email etiquette. I especially enjoyed the email yesterday that included, “WHAT THE FUCK LADYBUG”. Notice no punctuation in that one either. Now I am glad I didn’t ask him any questions or give any any choices
.
Just try to guess what you think he will say and then later tell him that is what he agreed to. It’s just simpler that way.
I can see you have been dealing with this for awhile. That’s good advice. I will definitely keep it in mind. It’s not a big deal right now because he isn’t talking to me until next Thursday. I am waiting to hear if he means the 19th or the 26th. I need to plan my calendar
.
19th
Thanks for letting me know. Will I get an email alerting me that the silent treatment is over? Will it end at 12am Thursday morning? I need to feel like I have all of the details of my “punishment”.
ok yes
I agree with with Diane
About what, bonehead? God, its like herding cats….
That is the perfect analogy.
I totally agree with you.
He’s going to forget by tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest that he’s not talking to you. If you could find a youtube video of turtles having sex (consensual turtle sex!), that always puts him in a good mood and distracts him. He also likes SlimJims so sending him some keeps him happy and chewing for a while.
Consensual turtle sex videos (testudine porn if I remember correctly) and SlimJims–got it.
You could ask him to remember something about yourself. He will be so distracted by that he will forget what he was mad at you about.
LOL I love horses.
What does I love horses mean? You want to see equine sex so you can see stallion schlong?????
Oh Hell No! A horses schlong swings and hangs to the ground! They only have that filly they want to ride in their mind!
I know right, that guy kills me.
I am just fucking with everyone because Diane implied my emails don’t make sense.
Please read on Thursday, July 19th. I don’t think she implied it. I believe she said it outright. At least you don’t use screamy capitals with her.
If I did indeed imply that your e-mails did not make sense, I said nothing about your blog posts. I believe we are blogging and not e-mailing right now.
SO START MAKING SENSE!
I apologize but I am still traumatized by a friend who implied she was dying when she in fact is not.
Please read on Thursday, July 19th. You had better be so glad that I like your wife, huggy bear.
I can’t stand the little boxes anymore.
RM, consider it your emergency plan training. You now have an action plan in place and we hope you never need to use ir. Hope for the best, Prepare for the worst.
Plus, I like to consider it a mini stress test. The fact that you were that shook up and no chest pain probably means your arteries are clear. See positive spin from the spin doctor!
IT, not ir.
I did have chest pain
Read this NOW– don’t say that! I seriously have felt like shit since I saw your replies yesterday morning. I have apologized more to you than to all of the other people in my life combined EVER.
If you want to get on his good side, ixnay the other nickname. Matador is the magic word.
Diane……( whispering)…. I thought blow job was the magic word…shhhhh.
Too true Pat. Too true.
I accept your apology but that doesn’t ease my chest pain. You did nothing wrong it’s my issue when cancer comes up.
I get it. I will abandon you new nickname as a peace offering. What do I get?
I will talk to you again
That was because you ate too many pancakes. Indigestion mimics heart attack. You’re fine.
I didn’t eat I was too upset
Work with me here. Did your father try to get your attention by jabbing you with a fork?
No
I got nothing else.
Wow, Diane, you are really good at this. You are like the Huggy Bear whisperer
.
Sorry, LB. I can’t call him that. It’s in my contract that I had to sign in blood.
Hey, again I miss all the action!!! Is there room for one more, or have you all left?
Hey Pat
Hi, Pat!
Thank goodness I didn’t sign anything. I am forsaking the nickname in an attempt to gain peace in the household for 5 minutes. I would have forgotten to use it by tomorrow so it’s not like I am really losing anything. Don’t tell RM. He thinks I am being magnanimous. It’s okay, RM, I will wait while you look it up
I have never cheated on my wife
That’s good to hear, but you really should make friends with Merriam-Webster.
Whatever you do, don’t call him a Homo Sapien.
ASSHOLE! You changed my comments! I said Huggy Bear not Matador!
What do you mean?
Hi RM……any new books for me? Hi to Lexie too!
I will send you one. when are you going to do Elisabeths book
I hope your kidding right????? You HAVE my review for Elizabeth’s book. If you want me to do her next one, I need to have the book…LOL…maybe with more than a weekend???
I never got it
Are you SERIOUS???
Oh Lordy, Lordy! Pat’s going to open a can of whoop ass on RM!
This is going to get good. I was just getting ready to hang it up and go to bed, but now I need to see the beating.
yes or i would have posted it
Ok…..I got an e-mail from Lexie saying she liked the review!!!!!!so I know it got to your computer! I can send it again, no problem……
Oh, I will ask her then. We haven’t been speaking because she thinks middle names are imprortant
I just sent you another copy! Just let me know if you received it this time…. Thanks…
It is not nice to try to make Ginger think she is crazy. She is not that stable but we try to keep her from realizing it. I would love to take that edit button and shove it…..
LOL. I said exactly the same thing to him, about shoving it, about 3 or 4 weeks ago! We must find the secret edit button and make it ours!
If anyone can find that button, it’s Ginger and Mary Ann.
I can’t concentrate. MB is using the Bing translator to try to figure out what his mom is posting on FB in Thai (she is from Thailand so it’s not like she’s just typing in Thai for no apparent reason
). It is very distracting because the translations are wildly inaccurate (I hope) and entertaining.
Hi everyone. Blowjobs and horses, woo hoo, I love it
LG, if someone had a dirty filthy mind, they might take that the wrong way. Or the right way!
OOOHHH, I am so naive. I say the first thing that pops into my head.
No, I don’t DO horses.
LOL, LG. I do the same thing. I forget that what I say or type doesn’t necessarily come across the same way it seems in my mind.
Wow, blow jobs mentioned twice, wonder where he is. Probably looking for my review of Elizabeth’s book Grrrr….
good thing I save them. Hi LG.
The bat signal has malfunctioned. I am going to bed. Night y’all.
Good night!
Night
Hi Pat. I thought I saw a review by you recently?
It was What a Girl Wants by Selena.
It all depends on what you would consider the right way.
Night all……good morning Luci.
West Coasters (US & Canada), Europeans, Kiwis, etc, Carry on. I’m going to bed. Good night all!
I do sometimes wonder if he will ever achieve the emotional bandwith needed to keep up with his wife AND the BBLs. For him it must feel like someone keeps getting off the seesaw when he’s the one up. over and over.
Good one Trudy!!!
Well Diane and LB consider yourselves privileged. At least he answers your emails.
Oh– he only answered mine because it was upsetting. I wouldn’t suggest going that route. Evidently when you do that, you sign some sort of electronic waiver that allows RM to make your emails, name, location, and nipple details public information. And then you have to apologize repeatedly, seek counseling for the guilt, and forgo any awesome nicknames that you come up with.
Trust me– it isn’t worth it
.
Oh no worries LB, i take it in my stride
. Am very laid back that way. He did give all your info out though lol. I hadn’t read your comment about the freckle 
.
I always respond to your emails. When did I not respond?
Sadly for you, you missed a couple of cool ones
I did? Which ones? I’m sorry.
IHOP is the best place to go and get your head back on straight! Oh and Peanut M & M of course! Always wondered what would happen if you ate some peanut M & M’s and then kissed somebody who was allergic! I think I have a sick mind!
I don’t know about MMs but there was a case in Florida a few years ago when a boy ate a peanut butter cracker and kissed a girl he knew was allergic to peanuts and she died. I do not believe they charged him though.
I remember that
I love peanut M&M’s almost as much as I fucking love IHOP.
Glad you are okay, Bug.
Also, I am so happy you are finally ending your blogs with questions. Jeesh, how were we supposed to know we were to comment?..lol.
IHOP? Oh, lawd. Next you’ll be telling us you like Waffle House…
*shun*
<3,
-J
P.S. I hope Ladybug will be okay/that it's nothing serious!
I fucking love Waffle House!
We can’t be friends anymore, RM.
<3,
-J
How could you not like WH
Easy. It is GROSS. That place is made of fail and lose.
Coco’s, on the other hand, is excellent for a cheap, sit-down breakfast.
<3,
-J
deep down laughter from the bottom of my …. well whatever…..and the laughter continues until giggles which lead to non-stop squeals….and as my sis-in-law says letter by letter “O” – “M” – “G” – help I can’t breath I’m laughing so hard. Love your blog.
Thanks Liz.