I recently found out that I have not been blogging correctly. Apparently you are supposed to end each blog post by asking a question in order to try and get people to comment. I didn’t know this until recently but it explains why I have such a hard time getting anyone to comment on this blog. So tonight for the first time I am going to blog correctly. Please disregard all previous posts and pretend they never happened.
Ok, the following is a true story that happened the other day. As I have told you my wife is writing a romance novel and I told you that she fired me. Since then Diane has been helping her and to be honest it is working out very well. Diane is incredibly good at breaking down a story and gives great advice. My wife has started letting me read it and I can say it has only gotten better since Diane began helping her.
Anyway my wife is taking it very seriously and doing a lot of research. She has already spent a day at the fire department talking to firemen about fire because there is a fire scene in the book. She is really working hard and is researching every aspect of her story. The following happened the other day.
I was in my office working in the middle of the day when Lexie came in.
Her: Take your pants off I need to give you a blow job.
Me: What?
Her: Hurry I don’t have much time take your pants off.
Me: Why?
Her: Because I am writing a blow job scene and I want to get it right.
Me: Get what right?
Her: The position of my lips and tongue and everything.
Me: You have given a million blow jobs and you don’t remember how to do it?
Her: It’s become a habit and I don’t really think about it when I’m doing it so I never pay attention to detail.
Me: What are you thinking about then when you give me head?
Her: I don’t know different stuff, come on I am in a hurry let’s get this over with.
Me: Wait. Like what?
Her: Like laundry and the kids and a million fucking things I have to do. Now take your dick out and let me suck it please.
Realizing my wife wanted to suck my dick and I shouldn’t be arguing with her about it I whipped little RM out. So she starts blowing me and after about a minute gets up and leaves.
Me: What are you doing?
Her: I have to go write the scene before I forget.
Me: WHAT? You’re leaving?
Her: I’ll be right back just sit there.
I sat there for forty-five minutes with my pants down and a boner and she never came back. I couldn’t go out there because the kids were home so I called her on the phone.
Me: What the fuck?
Her: I’m almost done I’ll be right there.
Me: Hurry I have work to do.
Her: Well just finish yourself off.
Me: No. Come on.
Her: I’ll be there in a minute.
She never fucking came. I started getting calls from clients – lost my boner and was talking on the phone with my pants down and blue balls.
So what do you think? Do you think the Cowboys have a shot at the playoffs this year?
RM-Remy…That was fucking funny. Thanks for the laugh and I really don’t give a rats ass about football. Kiss, kiss:)
Nancy where have you been?
In your dreams.
I’ll bet you thought about that one tweeter you lost but I’ve been around and read all that you post and most of the comments. Sometimes the numbers overwhelm me…this being such an unpopular blog and all. Hell of a tongue in cheek title today, Ace.
I think you might enjoy an occasional visit to TRM on Facebook (you know…The Romance Man secret room of the BBL’s and their men friends). We cover an enormous range of cheeky subjects and we have pictures of nekkid to almost naked men…not that you would be interested in THAT but you might find the bawdy comments entertaining. Hey, inspiration is everywhere. I can almost guarantee Lexi would enjoy.
What can I say…here in Washington, DC the Redskins rule and the Cowboys suck donkey dicks.
I have no issue with folk enjoying sports of any kind UNTIL they get stupid, which unfortunately happens with increasing frequency and is why I don’t give a rat’s ass.
Remy, I understand this might put our friendship in jeopardy but you’d miss me if I never came around.
I hope your balls feel better and you don’t have any more unattended boners. *smile*
(Jesus, that was funny.)
Nancy I pretty new to the sight what is the BBL ?
I’m not Nancy but I can answer that question
BBL stands for Braless Bawdy Ladies. That is the women who follow RM’s site daily. You can be too if you like, but you have to take your bra off when you are at the site 
The private room is for anyone to join, the comments will not show up on your homepage to all your other friends, thereby giving us privacy to say what we are thinking, b/c we are Bawdy!
God luv it thanks Lady would luv to join.
Kelly…The BBL rocks…along with the dudes that visit:)
It would be cool if you got an avatar. Use the same email address you used to join here to open a free account at Gravator. Instructions are there regarding your profile (adding image aka an avatar).
Hi Nancy I did that but can’t get my avatar to work
I think one of the admins have to put her in, since its a closed group. Katie has admin, not sure if anyone else does…
Hey Nancy I can’t visit that page because i don’t have a personal page.
RM – get one! Or better yet – change the one you have. Just don’t ask me how to do it. crazygranny or Katie might know….
Shit. I FORGOT RM-Remy. You COULD get a personal facebook page but not without using your real identity, which you want to keep anonymous.
Rock ~ hard place.
You can make up a fictional character/name. Everyone does it. just don’t use your real name and where you live.
I don’t think you can change your page to a person page.
Make a regular page.
How about the name Remy Romance.
And then in the about you section, state you are a fictional character for The Romance Man.
That should appease the FB police.
Granny can you go on twitter, read my twitter feed and help Stephanie. She is trying to find that FB page
Have missed you Nancy!
Hey Lulu…Thanks. Actually I’ve missed commenting. I have noticed that RM-Remy is doing a remarkable job responding to all comments now that he’s got his shit together:)
Nancy am from Alexandria so hell yeah–Go Skins. Moved to Tally–go Noles.
No wardrobe change required.
Yay!
OMG!! I will hate to see this blog seize up and explode from the comments now
I agree w Nancy, I could give a rats ass about football.
Thanks
I can’t be your friend anymore if you don’t like football.
I watch football and pay attention to the winners/losers so I can discuss it w/ friends who enjoy it.
pretty please 
Personally, even though I grew up in Dallas Cowboy country, my heart goes to the Denver Broncos, hot and cold though they may run. So I do scream for the Broncos, even when they lose.
I really really really want your friendship
Ok fine. We can be friends
Will you still find a man for me ?
Yes I will
Holy shit, man…I almost died laughing. Sorry…I know that I shouldn’t be laughing at your “condition” but damn…
I have no clue about the cowboys. If they get some service like yours, the answer is hell no!
LOL
Gotta love research. I’m thinking that they have a better chance than little RM at a play…off. *laughing still*
Other than the wonderful invention of football pants, there is not a lot I can say about the Cowboys.
But that was some great dialog…a book about a romance writer…hmmm…
It’s been done and I’ve read a couple good ones BUT can always be recycled anew……..with new twists…….and blue balls……..
I like that idea
You LIKE the idea of blue balls? Did I read that correctly?
Hahahhahahahha this has got be THE FUNNIEST POST U’VE WRITTEN SINCE DAY 1. Ppl do comment, WE LOVE U! And we love ur wife and kids, and any possible pet at home u guys might have! I have introduced ur blog to every single co worker of mine and our procrastination minute of the day is dedicated to u! Hahahahahhaha u should add a FOLLOW ME button somewhere, everybody has asked me how can they subscribe to receive ur posts via email but I at least can’t find a follow me link. I really hope u become universally famous. Forget about all those bunch of frustrated book reviewers that had to turn to blogging and gathering an army of book reviewers since they couldn’t make it to the big leagues, UR THE MAN!
Thanks Double!
OMG! I almost died reading this. I have to confess that when I started writing erotic romance novellas that I also began dissecting various sexual acts, but in my case I kept wanting my hubby to tell me what he was feeling ..etc.. He really didn’t appreciate the analysis!
I know how he feels.
Tell Lexie to just read some really hot scenes from REALLY good authors because writing sex is NOT about the mechanics. It’s about the FEELINGS – the emotional component. Otherwise it’s just written porn.
My last editor taught me that – using the six senses.
Yeah i’m going to tell her that so that she doesn’t practice.
WELL, they do say practice makes perfect… but they also say to always finish what you start! LOL!
Good point
Victoria, my husband was the same way. LOL But he’s a trooper, thankfully and also gets my sense of humor, when I jump out of bed and have to write something down.
So noble, suffering for your wife’s craft
LOL – my husband felt sympathy for you!!
It isn’t funny
Uhm, yeah it is.
Lexie needs to use this kind of scene and dialogue in her book.
LOL! OMG! Sorry to laugh at your pain, but that’s funny. Just think of this, your wife is helping you to achieve your goal of retiring soon, so if you have to suffer a litte just remember its worth it.
Why the cowboys? Aren’t there other teams out there?
No Melody the Cowboys are the only team that matters
Then we better not discuss football.
Agreed
You sad Lexis never came, but I think it was the other way around. Bwahahahahaaaa!!!!!! And FUCK YEAH WE’RE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS THIS YEAR!
The Cowboys aren’t going anywhere this year
Well not with that attitude they’re not, dickhead!
My attitude doesn’t give them a pass rush. FUCK I LOVE THAT I CAN TALK FOOTBALL WITH YOU!
GO COWBOYS! WOOOO!!!
Zing! Love you Gina:)
Fuck. My reply landed in the wrong place.
Here’s where I wanted it to go:
“You sad Lexis never came, but I think it was the other way around. Bwahahahahaaaa!!!!!!”
Don’t cowboys ride horsies?
Not the ones that play football
Hahahaha! Poor little RM. All I have to say is if Lexi has given you even half a million blow jobs (since she has given a million) you won’t mind taking one for the team. You would think you would be sick of them by now. Lol.
Lexi, I hope the writing went well, for you have hell to pay! A crabby RM I would not want to deal with.
**Go PATS!**
First, the Pats suck and are you suggesting Lexie had giving 500k blow jobs to other men? Because that is wrong, she has only given 100k
I just quoted you …you said it, I just reiterated it.
How can you not like looking at Tom Brady?! ?! *swoon* Lol. Between the Cowboys and Pats…who has gone to the Superbowl more times? Who has won more times? Real questions, because Idk. But I wanna say the Pats.
The Cowboys have Dutchess
Tom Brady needs to ditch the beard and keep his hair shorter…me I was/am a Teddi Bruschi gal
The Dallas cowboys. Is that the football that you tried to copy their color and didn’t succeed with the baby blue tights?
I have another question, why the hell were you arguing about getting a hummer in the first place? LOL
OMG I just read this before shutting down the computer for the night! Now I have to stop laughing so I can brush my teeth. I don’t think you have any worries about your peeps commenting. That is just so funny! The things you have to endure for research. Can’t wait for more research hope you are left “hanging again”!! Wiping the laugh tears away!
oops meant hope you are NOT left “hanging” again!
Not funny
Keep telling yourself that. LOL
It’s hilarious, although my husband agrees, it’s not funny if it’s happening to you!
Holy crap! I laughed so hard I cried! I love that she’s doing research like this, I can’t wait to read her book.
Sorry, I’m not a Cowboy fan but I love football…does that count?
Yes it counts
They have a better shot than the Indians that’s for sure!
This was a very romantic story RM. Not.
Hi Luci!!!
Did you have a good weekend??
Hi LG! Yep was very good! Went to a concert where Ronan Keating sang. Picture me sighing all night long
.
That’s because the Indians aren’t a football team
Well i know shit about American football. For all i know they were a team. Took a shot in the dark
.
Good try Lucie. I like that you took a chance
If American footballwere on here during the day rather than at night i’d be a huge fan
I love you
thanks RM for clearing that up. I was worried, cuz I didn’t know where the Indians came from!
Too dang funny!
And I can’t stand the Cowboys honestly.
Sorry!
communist
Are you still waiting for Lexie? Its past your bedtime
she’s writing
Oh you’re waiting in case she needs to do some other research. Got it
You know me so well
Man, oh man! You are too hilarious, but I appreciate you helping out the wife in her writing, you are so supportive…yada yada blah blah…you get the picture
It is blasphemous to speak that ‘C’ word in our home, we speak the other ‘C’ word…as in Cardinals. I love watching football, though the last couple of years I have not watched as much…I just get disappointed.
I feel your pain. We suck too.
OMG!! BWAHAHAHA!!!
You should have just taken matters into your own hands! All the blood missing from your brain has made you delusional!
Because you know damn well the Cowboys suck ass! It’s the Packers all the way!!
Yeah Granny how did the packers do last year?
Better then the Cowboys!
Damn good point. Did Selena tell you that she made your recipe?
Yes she did. Did Lexie make it?
Not yet but we have the stuff. Selena did a low carb version and said it was awesome. We are going to try that.
I see you renamed it again. I like this name better than the last one
By the way, I am on of the owners of the Packers!
I love the new name for the recipe.
RM, I forgot to mention, do not open the oven while the biscuits are baking. They will go flat….you know, kind of like something else when your wife leaves you hanging….
I’m sure you can come up with a way to get back at her lol. I love reading your blogs and all the comments, too funny!
Thanks Jamie
LMAO! Okay my question…why the hell would you question why your wife wanted to give you a blow job?! Shouldn’t men be grateful that their wife walks in out of the blue and says whip it out. Seriously!
Because it was so out of the blue
You really do love the color blue don’t you?
Nope, the Cowboys have no chance at all.
I know
The Cowboys? Who? My Canadian FL team one their first game has week, then sucked slough water yesterday – they got one point the whole fucking game. I think the offense missed the fucking bus to the field. Last year we didn’t make the playoffs – I will be severely ticked if they don’t again.
Oh, yeah, Remy, sorry about your balls. Damn, that was funny. I’m glad Lexie is working so hard on this – and fucking nice of you to sacrifice for her art…
Thanks Kermie.
O. M. G. I just laughed so hard I started crying. This was the funniest thing I have read in, like, forever. Your timing is killer. Seriously.
Also, I don’t watch football. I’m a baseball girl all the way. Unfortunately, Mr. B is a huge Mets fan, and I like the Yankees. He co-opted all our kids into liking the Mets and bought them all Mets gear. They are now indoctrinated and there’s nothing I can do.
You can just remind them that the Yankees always win and the Mets rarely do
Watch it Mr. You DO NOT want to mess with my Mets : P
I don’t need to mess with them, they are all messed up by themselves
All the more reason to love them. I ALWAYS root for the underdog. It makes the victory that much sweeter
And I don’t like you anymore
Ok Elisabeth, I really liked you and the you had to go and say you were a Yankees fan
. Just kidding, of course. I am a HUGE Mets fan. I bleed orange and blue. I really like your husband 
We are a Red Sox and Mets house – Hubs grew up in CT and BFFs nephew is in minors with Mets
I love you mceckk
I’m from the southern part of CT, so what was I supposed to do? Travel 3 hours to see a Red Sox game? No! So I picked the closest team, which happened to be the Yankees. Mr. B is from NY, and he picked the one on his train line – Mets! I have learned to appreciate the Mets over the years, but that doesn’t stop me from singing spoofs of the Mets song to my kids, or quoting famous Mets-isms, like the one Sgt. Lennie Briscoe said on Law & Order: “Married and a Mets fan? Must be a glutton for punishment!”
Elisabeth, I will give you this much—it is not easy being a Mets fan. There is much suffering to endure. They constantly disappoint us. And lets not forget all of the abuse we get from Yankees fans!
We handled that the civilized way, we are primarily mets fans (my son and I) but also can keep up with the yankees. That is because I grew up in a household where my dad was a Yankees fan (he grew up in the Bronx in the 30′s, they used to sneak into the games [I suspect the guards looked the other way, different era], and he saw a lot of the great players in the 30′s and 40′s, both yanks and other teams..my mom was a NY Giants fan then became a Mets fan…..
True story, my mom and dad were at the famous 1951 Dodgers-Giants playoff game with Thompson’s home run (Shot heard round the world)..they both lived in the Bronx and were commuting to NY (they were dating, not married yet) and they dared each other, since the line they took passed the Polo Grounds……they got off the subway, called in sick and went to the game…….
What a great story your parents had to tell you.
Thanks for sharing.
My husband and a workmate visited Houston in 2010. They were at the entrance of Minute Maid Park, looking like the turists they were, and the guards let them in. The game already had started by then, and the Astros were loosing it, but my husband was on cloud 9.
I was laughing so hard that I disturbed my husband’s sleep. After reading your blog himself, he’s angry with me for laughing and thinks your wife is awful. (He may simply be in a misanthrope because he’s an Eagles fan).
Thanks Amy and I am glad you woke him up. I hate the Eagles.
LMFAO. I don’t need to boost your ego by telling you how great you are…okay, why not – you rock.
But seriously your wife’s book is going to rock! But for your sake let’s hope she doesn’t have any dom scenes where she needs to wear a strap on.
That isn’t funny.
Hehehehe.
Go Pack!
Yes it is.
Indeed… Very funny visualizing you and Lexie and a strap on for research… : oops :
Yay, great idea, Eden! RM, you will simply HAVE to tell us if Lexie gives you a strapping *um* …..
Since I live on the other side of the world, I know nothing about the Cowboys or football in general, but thanks, I needed to LMAO. You obviously get more BJ’s than my hubs, because if I demanded he let me give him head, there would have been no questions, only a race to get his pants down lol
Glad to see you’re finally blogging correctly, your lack of comments on previous posts is kind of embarrassing *snort*
Thanks Sheri
Why do you call it “little RM?” Just askin’…and if Lexie’s gonna write, you’d better get used to the research, which means that sometimes ya gotta take one for the team. Of course, if she gets into writing group sex scenes or gay sex, I do hope you can get over your little issues about other men…
As far as football–I can’t stand the pro teams because they’re so often just overpaid prima donnas, but give me a high school game and I’m there. I love the passion you feel in high school sports. They’re not playing for the big bucks or a better contract, they’re playing because they love the game and dammit, they want to win! And if my grandsons decide to play I will want to haul their butts off the field, because it’s such a rough sport…
And I hate to tell you RM, but the only reason bloggers are told to end with a question is to get some action going. That’s never been your problem.
I think RM was being sarcastic about the question thing since it’s obvious he has no trouble getting comments. Absolutely loved his take of doing questions at the end!
Thanks Angela
I call it little RM because Bob doesn’t sound right. I beg you not to suggest gay sex to her. I agree about high school sports
Lol I am shock you don’t call it Matador
RM, I’m sure lexie already has a “little” friend named bob …if you haven’t met him , maybe she can work him into a scene and do some research
I have no idea who the Cowboys are but that is one bloody funny blog post, I literally pee’d myself laughing!!!!
They are a football team Gitte – real football, not soccer
WHAT!!!!!
A REAL FOOTBALL Team is someone like LIVERPOOL!! Now if you want to talk REAL football…I am your girl!!! Why do you have to confuse things by calling it soccer?? LOL…. ;0)
very well said!
Why thank you ;0)
You Brits are so easy to tease just say soccer and you guys flip out. I dig that about you.
Hmm not just Brits…I’m Danish and I get pretty pissed too!! ;0)
Damn Gitte why did I think you were a Brit. Anyway it’s not just Brits it’s all of Europe that go crazy for soccer/football.
Liverpool?? Nooooooooo! I still have nightmares re that Champions Leagure final with AC Milan!! Damn
Prob cause I live in London…it’s confusing…I know!!! ;0)
I am a supporter of football in general, not specifically one team, because I like watching hunky men run around in tight pants trying to feel each other up
. Great post!! You should come up with a list of things to research 
.
Good idea
Lmfao I have tears rolling down my face thanks RM just what I needed tonight
love me some Cowboys! And my Utah Jazz
I like the Jazz too but they suck unfortunately
Hey RM that’s harsh
I know but it’s true and I don’t see them getting any better
Yeah they where the best when we had Stockton and Malone
So who enlightened you on proper blogging protocol? (Smartass.)
I have boycotted the NFL for some time now, but in a former life, I was a football cheerleader. I also know terms like suicide squad, can tell you when a nickle back is used, and my fave play is still the flea flicker.
But that’s not why I’m commenting. I just want to see if my new avatar shows up.
Of course I can tell when a nickle back is used. Love the avatar
That was the funniest thing I’ve read in ages!! Poor guy. I’ve done the “tell me what you’re feeling” thing with my guy (want to get the hero’s perspective right!) and he hates when I do that. But I’ve never left him hanging!
And please, please, please — no need for football talk. You don’t need to jazz things up, RM! You’re doing just fine as you were.
Thanks Dana
LOLOLOL!!
(I think you will finally get some comments on your blog now RM.)
I hope so
Ok, first of all like everyone else I LMAO! That was some funny stuff. I felt for you and little RM but research is research and I believe you left Lexie once while sucking the nipple she likes to write a blog post so I say turnabout is fair play. Oh and as for football, I love it. I am a huge SF 49er’s fan but before you start in on me Scott is a diehard Cowboys fan. The 49ers are my home team and I have been a fan for over 30 years (that is scary
). Is it September yet?? Anyway, you do not need questions at the end of your blog — you rock the comments. Thanks so much for entertaining us so well RM, you are awesome, even if you are a Cowboys fan 
Thanks Alix, you too
RM, There is a correlation between Lexie and the Cowboys. They both get you hard only to leave you standing around with your pants around your ankles. Being a life-long Cowboys fan, I have experienced this in the Tony Romo era. I can’t wait for football season, we will definitely have to put some preseason picks on this board.
Dude I couldn’t agree more. It’s like they are a tease. We need a football pool this season.
The cowboys don’t have a chance in hell. kind of like you didn’t have a chance in hell of getting the rest of that blow job. lol
LOL. I did get it – eventually
First– don’t do that! It is 5:30am here and I think I woke up Girl Babybug because I was laughing so loudly. That was one of my all-time favorite posts. I am going to wake Manbug up early and make him read it
.
To answer your question– unfortunately the Cowboys don’t have a shot. In my younger days, I was a huge Cowboys fan (I still have a Troy Aikman ornament that goes on our Christmas tree every year). Please, if you don’t have anything good to say about soon-to-have-concussion-induced-drooling-and-dementia Troy Aikman, go ahead and say it because I will probably laugh my ass off. Anyway– things changed and Troy and Emmitt got old and started dancing so I moved on. Manbug loved the Bucs during the Tony Dungy days. But now we live near KC, and well we all know how good the Chiefs chances aren’t but we still feel the need to cheer for them. I won’t go so far as to label myself as a fan. That would require that I bedeck myself head-to-toe in that horrible Chiefs red and yellow (usually a satin-finish jacket is involved) and get a fe-mullet (that’s the girl version of a mullet according to MB) and go to Wal-mart and hang out in the meat section.
So, no the Cowboys don’t have a chance at the playoffs, but at least their colors are cool. Too bad your RM avatar couldn’t wear them
.
Excuse me for a short while– I have to go put my Troy Aikman watch on so I can go for a run
.
WAR EAGLE!
You are so funny. I played against Emmit in high school.
That is really cool. Now if you had said that you and Emmitt were on Dancing With The Stars together, I would be seriously impressed. Those tights and that bedazzled cape should have more than one use
.
I grew up with Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith also, loved the Cowboys back then, I also have moved on and my new team is the Jets.
I prefer college football and the best part of it is tailgating, I’m there more for the atmosphere than anything else. GO GATORS
We are much bigger college football fans than NFL. Thankfully, Mizzou is now an SEC team so our chances of getting to see Alabama or Auburn play went up dramatically.
I am with you, Lexie– tailgaiting is the way to go.
I have never been to a proper tailgaiting party. Isn’t that just the saddest thing EVER?
I didn’t dance with him but I did slap his butt
Good enough for me
Was there an inappropriate man hug involved?
Now that is awesome. See I am more of a player follower than a team – and Emmit has always been a fav of mine.
He’s a good guy
Yeah, us KC fans keep our expectations low. LB – I refuse to buy any merchandise with that god awful yellow on it.
Thank you! That yellow is atrocious. Please tell me you don’t rock a satin jacket or a fe-mullet
.
Nope, no mullet here. My hubs does have an ugly as sin suede jacket in the closet and a really unfortunate KC pull over winter coat thingy. Luckily he doesn’t wear either of them.
LOL– that’s awesome. There are very few NFL teams whose colors are anything you would want to wear together in real life. That’s what happens when boys pick the colors
Excuse me. Please note my blue and silver uniform which is awesome
Are we seriously having this discussion AGAIN? The Cowboys’ uniform colors are awesome. Your uniform colors are not blue and silver. Where’s my cake?
Wow, you guys are late nighters!!! It’s barely 7:00am and the blog is filled! I guess it’s time for the east coasters turn!
Wow, Lexie got to hang out with fire fighters? Are there any male strippers in her story? Just be glad she’s not writing a Dom /Sub genre..you know how that goes…get the Sponge Bob band-aids.
As for football…..my husband has been a die-hard Steelers fan as long as I’ve known him. We lived near D.C for the glory days of the Redskins, so they were always close to my heart.( can’t wait to hear your response to that statement.). Now I’m sort of neutral ! It has been ingrained in me to hate the Cowboys….Redskin factor .
Pat I am ignoring you. You don’t discuss the redskins on this blog
Pat, maybe Lexie needs some insight from the other BBLs when she visits the firefighters (or strippers)
.
My hubby already likes the fact I write romance novels. If I tell him we have to play out sex scenes he’s going to wet his pants
Where I come from football is soccer and cowboys wrangle cattle. And where I live now the playoffs equal hockey. I don’t think those guys stand a chance in the NHL.
Glad you don’t know how to blog.
Thanks Toni
PS–fire fighters?
Yes
LOL, awesome post, you just made my morning! Was already laughing out loud at your predicament (sorry!) and then your question cracked me up even more!
Lexie’s never going to live that one down, is she?
No she isn’t
….holy crap, RM! So when Lexi publishes and I pick up a copy I’m not sure I’ll be able to get this out of my head.
LOL. That’s funny
RM, I’m glad you finally learned how to blog. It only took you 6 months, but maybe now you’ll get some comments
Sorry all, but the New York Giants and Eli rule and have the Superbowl ring to prove it
Oh yeah RM, funny blog. Glad you’re talking blow jobs again. As always, Lexie is my idol.
I can’t argue about the Giants because you are right. I forgot you used to be NYGirl.
Yes RM long ago when I was a blog virgin I was known as NYGirl. Now I am the much more experienced Scarlet
. I am touched that you remembered.
I am a NYer through and through. Hubby may have moved me to the south, but I will never be a Southern Belle. Not that there’s anything wrong with Southern Belles. It just ain’t gonna happen
And no I do not have an accent. All you Southerners do
Scarlet– I am from Alabama and moved all over the place the first 5 years I was married. We lived in Wisconsin for a year and no one understood me. The southern accent is a hard one to lose. I haven’t live in AL in almost 13 years and mine is still pretty thick.
I cannot get used to WordPress and where to reply when the reply button’s gone.
. And I do get a real kick out of what y’all (see I can speak Southern Belle =) call some things. I’ve learned that what I call a shopping cart is a ‘buggy’ in the south. Also, I say let’s barbeque and you guys say let’s grill out =). I say sneakers and you all say tennis shoes =). I’m slowly learning the lingo. Seriously though, I love the Southern accent. You guys can insult the hell out of anyone, but it sounds so sweet with the accent 
Me, I can be giving you a compliment, but it comes out sounding like an insult 
Anyway…Ladybug I must admit that sometimes when I am talking to someone with a real thick accent I have no idea what the hell they are saying
LOL, Scarlet. Manbug is from further south in Alabama than I am and he has no accent at all. He even has trouble understanding me after I get off the phone with my parents. I say all of those things you mentioned (except grill out– I say “let’s cook out”). And you are absolutely right about insulting people. If you throw a “bless your heart” onto any insult, people think you are being sweet. I have learned to use my accent to my advantage here in the Midwest. If I want someone to do something for me, my accent gets ridiculously thick. I don’t know if they do what I want because they think I am mentally challenged or if they like the accent
.
Hahaha. I love that you turn on the accent thicker at times. It IS the sweetest so I can see how that could be used to your advantage. I definitely would use it
. People I’m talking to will sometimes ask if I’m from New York. I seriously don’t know how they know that just from talking to me 
It’s funny because when I talk to my Mom or siblings their accent sounds so thick to me now. I refuse to believe I sound like them 
. I firmly believe I say “picture” and not “picha”. And I definitely say “coffee”, not “cawfee”. LOL.
We have been down here for almost 2 years and we really like it. It is very different from up north. The people are much nicer although after talking to you I’m not so sure. They could be cursing me out for all I know! I do miss my family and friends though. And the food!!
Oh, don’t worry– the people down south are really nice. If they start saying “bless your heart” a lot when they talk to you, then you should be worried
.
And trust me– they don’t really know you are from New York. You don’t have a southern accent, therefore, you must be from the all-encompassing NEW YORK. It is like ordering Coke at a restaurant down there. Being from New York could mean you are from anywhere north of Kentucky just like Coke refers to any carbonated beverage
.
How long have you been a transplant?
LOL — that sucks dude. Just imagine how awkward that would have been if you worked in a cube farm.
LOL. Goddam you as funny as your wife. I want to come to your house and hang out. Love the new AR. Mines all black.
You and Lexie are welcome to come hang out at our house anytime. You and Manbug can go to the range and shoot your ARs. He said to tell you that his is going to be all black, too (even though I voted for the desert color grips–but what do I know? I am just a girl
).
MB has always worked in a cube farm environment and he still got sex at work early in our marriage.
Whoa, explain
He had to work really late several nights in a row and we were newlyweds. He was at the office and there were only a few people left working that late. I brought him supper on my way home from karate. The women’s restroom was unoccupied and there were only guys there that night so it seemed to be a safe place. WHAT? A girl’s got needs and sometimes she just has to *jump* at the chance.
There was once a hot tub that was surrounded by glass walls…..
I may have led a sheltered life complete with homemade granny panties during my teens, but MB brought me out of my shell
That is so awesome. I am going to go have sex in the Mcdonalds bathroom now. i hope I don’t run into George Michael
I really hope Lexie is with you in the McDonalds bathroom
.
I’m a Redskins fan, sorry. Thanks for the morning giggle!
So glad you’re *finally* getting comments on here.
Redskins? Get off my site.
Marquita, I guess you and I are banned. Do you live near DC?
Oh hush your mouth, RM!
@Pat/Scout- I’m in NC, so five hours. I always root for them, no matter what.
And RM couldn’t get rid of us.
Where in N.C!!! I live near Wilmington!
That would be three of us. If I rooted for a team, it would be the Redskins.
And, Remy would be hung by his little RM if he were to block us from the blog. He just likes playing Bad Dude on occasion;)
Okay…. I think you have officially lost it! AND, I think you should thank your blessings in “small” doses….. AND be glad you work behind a desk and don’t have to face people…or at least I hope you didn’t have any face to face since you still had your pants down with a blue balled boner!
Anyway….. don’t know much about NFL football…. Ask me about College or High School anyday or most days!
#HAILSTATE
No I was alone lone ranger
I hope you do realiize there are a lot of women that spend their extra time online studying genealogy or in front of their tv watching horror stories on Nancy Grace or getting the lastest weight loss tips from Dr Oz, and yours is engaging your help with blow job research? Blue balls or not you are a lucky man.. With finishing up with an 8-8 record last year, and not making the playoffs since 09, the Cowboys definitely have some work to do.
You are so right
I felt really bad for you and your balls until you admitted to being a cowboy fan. Go Eagles!
Commie
After the Gators finish their season I kind of lose interest in what’s happening in the world of pigskins.
Also, I’m glad I’ve learned not to drink coffee while reading RM.
GO GATORS. although they suck too since Tebow left.
See I *knew* you loved Tebow as much as me, RM. *dreamy sigh*
Oh God, I should have seen that coming
That’s what she said. LOLOLOL!
I’m a huge Gators Fan and also love Tim Tebow
I agree Marquita! He is dreamy
Getting selfish – the 400+ comments on some blogs aren’t enough for you? Can’t wait to read Lexie’s book, and hysterical you called her! Thank goodness you don’t have a video phone. Now I want to write a book and do some research…but the Hubs works in a Cube Farm when he isn’t off at some AFB.
I agree Cowboys have the best uniforms – I am not a fan of the owner, and the front office doesn’t know how to put together a team. Now stats say the Cowboys don’t have a chance – but there is always the UnderDog possiblility – but if they ever make it to the big game I got you hooked up with gear. McSis is at the AllStar game McSon is besides himself wanting to be there, McDaughter is jealous she gets to be there for Luke Bryan’s sound check.
Sweet.
sis sat in front row of Luke Bryan’s concert before game – called my daughter on her cell and held up phone so she could hear a song…yup got the best sis out there!
OMG! My morning just got better! My boss poked her head out the door wanting to know what was so funny! You are so gonna get me in trouble. You poor baby; leaving you hanging – so wrong. Oh and the Cowboys -I think they will finish up behind the Packers yet again! Go Rodgers! Cannot wait for the season to begin.
First off RM; I wouldn’t want to disregard even one of your prior posts. Many of them were true gems. You have a snarky and dry sense of wit and I’ll go back once in awhile to read them. Why? They make me smile. They lift my mood. They make me feel. We all have reasons for seeking human solice from outer sources but I feel this is what you offer many of us. It’s ‘Calgon Take Me Away’…..RM style.
So no……can’t ignore any of the prior posts. Each one of them had something a person could feed off of emotionally.
Nothing better than making another human being smile and you do this for us RM……most of the time.
When you don’t it’s because you’re distracted or depressed by this life we live. I think we can all appreciate it and feel the downer along with you during these times. Maybe our comments help you sometimes too? I hope so.
YOU HAD ME ON YOUR FIRST POST!
That question you posted at the end…..made me zone out. I also admit to being sport illiterate except I know who Tiger Woods is since my hubby is a golf fiend.
You could put ads here…I’ll click on them…..I’m that devoted to your prose.
I’m sorry about the blue ball episode but you must realize that Lexie must use you for a certain amount of ‘hands-on’ and your bod has to be submitted for the greater good which for us is (hopefully) another romance novel to read?
…….and we want ALL the gritty details of the torture you are exposed to in order for that book to become published.
It’s a win-win blog….
Thanks Skeletor, you rock!
Grew up in G’ville. Love the Gators.would never call them the fightingfumblers.
Mr. RM: I was feeling bad for you because the uncomfortable experience, and, seeing that your wife is a very dedicated woman, I thought you should better be prepared for more. Poor Mr. RM.
BUT NOT ANYMORE. I hope the Cowboys don’t have a chance in hell to go wherever they’d go, because I don’t know a thing about NFL football, but I don’t go telling anybody that soccer is better than football.
And football is ok, I read those Susan Elizabeth Phillips books and they are pretty good. I wont say anything bad about football. I can’t say anything bad about a sport that gives me the chance to see well trained backsides, even if I don’t understand a thing about it.
But I’m a SOCCER fan, dammit.
Happy now, you’ve made me curse in English.
LOL I love that you guys across the pond are such soccer/football fans. I am a big rugby fan. I have a hard time getting into soccer but that is because I was brought up on american sports. I do watch the world cup though.
OK. I forgive you. But only because I know your wife is going to make you pay in full.
The soccer/football thing doesn’t bother me. In Spanish we use the same word for both sports: Fútbol.
You sure you’re not Canadian? We are huge Rugby fans up here. Hockey, Rugby, Lacrosse are the sports we love.
I love all of those sports and I also watch the CFL. I love Canada.
I’ll have to put together some traditional Canadian recipes.
Anyone can be an honorary Canadian, you sign up any time.
Hey, RM, have you been to Canada? Or you just love us because of the sports?
Mylillypad, good to see another fellow Canuk here.
The question to your blog was perfect, since many people would argue that the Cowboys in recent years have been an unfinished blow job, there is tremendous anticipation and then it goes nowhere (unlike the NY Jets, where there is tremendous noise made but long term fans like myself and my converted, cynical son, so the fans know not to be so silly as to get our hopes up and take joy in watching the Jets self destruct).
Hmm, you let Lexie do ‘research’ around firefighters without 2 NFL linemen aka eunuchs (and if you don’t think they are,, explain to me how they get that big) as bodyguards, you are a braver man then I, gunga din *lol*.
My word of advice with Lexi researching books is be very, very afraid, if you read a Laura Lee book and Lexi decides to write in that vein, you might not sleep for a week:)
Dude I didn’t even think about that but you are right.
I have been laughing all morning, not just your post (which is hilarious) but all the comments. This blog is perfect!! Not a football fan, but love the Seahawks helmets .. does that count?? And I LOVE the Gators .. used to work at UF and went to all the games.
Thanks Trish. No loving helmets doesn’t count but being a gator fan does. Did you like living in Gainesville?
I actually live outside Gainesville in the middle of nowhere. Really. No neighbors, no traffic. Total silence cept for the cows. Love being a hermit!!! Just me and hubby.
My daughter graduated from UF! She went there for grad school. NOT a football fan . Her friends used to sell there student tickets for big bucks!!!
Oh yea. The student section was always wild too. I sat there once. They actually pick up.people and pass them down the bleachers. Not dull, but very distracting.
This is your funniest comment ever RM: “That is so awesome. I am going to go have sex in the Mcdonalds bathroom now. i hope I don’t run into George Michael”
Thanks for being the only one who noticed Lucie. I really though no one got it.
Oh I got it, but I chose to just ignore it because honestly– I had planned to marry George Michael and he really screwed that up
.
Yeah that would be an awkward marriage
Who is George Michael?
Wham!
That hurt. Now I feel old!
That did hurt woke me up and now I have to go go
You can go go but you’re never going to dance again cause guilty feet have got no rhythm!
Yeah well I don’t plan on going solo
I was kidding. lol. I know who George Michaels is. I’m young (I keep telling myself) but I’m not THAT young.
ha ha
Oh good grief! Now I have all of those songs going through my head on a loop (with the addition of “Faith” and “I Want Your Sex”). It was a bad breakup. Why can you people let me mourn the loss of my 5th grade fiance in peace?
It just occurred to me that you have managed to get all of us talking about football for over 12 hours. Well played, Matador, well played.
You noticed did you. Well after an entire day talking about pie I had to do something.
I am actually disappointed i know nothing about American football. The post had started out so well. In my little dot of an island i am able to handle any sport talk with the most sports crazy guy. On this blog i am often lost and not only where football talk is concerned.
Im sorry Luci, I will try and keep with neutral themes everyone knows
Oh no worries!Go on as you started!whenever i am lost i skim and move on:).
Rm re recipes:one of the typical dishes here is rabbit. Am not sure if Lexie is i nterested in cooking it. If yes will send the recipe for her to try.
Are you serious Lucie? Rabbit? Is it good?
Ask my husband lol. He loves it. You can have it fried or with stew with a spaghetti rabbit starter. Will send you the recipes from my hubby’s site.
I did notice and I am proud of you, grasshopper. It was sneaky, but good. You lured everyone in with the talk of self-improvement and blow jobs gone awry and then BAM! You dropped the football question and what did we all flock to?
I wrote an apology on your FB wall. My humor doesn’t translate well to type. I have one of those senses of humor (or is it sense of humors– whatever. Diane can fix it when she gets here
) that can only be fully appreciated in person. I don’t apologize often (ask Manbug) so you should probably print that out and hold it close to your heart 
.
Apologize for what?
Thank God! You finally took off your apron and put your jock strap back on!
LOL.
Right, Scarlet! Geez! I can go to Martha Stewarts blog any day of the week.
My thoughts exactly, JustJinny! I love recipes and crafts, but I don’t want to read about that stuff here with the big Alpha Dog (that would be you RM)
He did it, didn’t he? I’d have stayed far from the topic if he hadn’t mentioned soccer.
Hey hun, I love fantasy football…my fantasy is for tom brady to play for dallas and for tim tebow and the jets to kick eli’s delectably tight butt. and the broncos cry over the money they wasted on peyton’s contract.
anyway, i love dallas and i LUVVED troy makes me ache, man for years. as opposed to how much I hate the Giants cause my hub loves them. I have nothing to say about Lexie’s experiential moments in your office, but maybe you did need a coat hook in your office. And for our European compatriots, next time tell her to bend it like beckham (omg is he perfect or what)
Great post Trudy and did you see my comment yesterday? I am sending you Elisabeths book because of the Love Pillows things. I think I still have your email.
love to love you, baby. tanx xo
p.s. i really thought you’d be impressed that i could talk football, but usually when i talk it to my men, during those multiple fourth inning advertisement, they never freakin appreciate my insights. i bet tom doesn’t tell giselle to shut up.
There is nothing hotter than a woman who can talk football.
That is freaking hilarious. Your wife rocks! And NO the Cowboys don’t stand a chance.
I know they will suck again.
RM I am new to your blog, just discovered it a week ago. I am on vacation visiting my family and sleeping in the same room as my kids, laughed so loud almost woke up my son! You are so funny I love what you do here. On recommendation I also read your Fifty Shades post. I’m getting the idea that you and Lexie share some “interesting” experiences.
I am a Steelers fan from way back, during the steel curtain, Terry Bradshaw, and Franco Harris days. (I was a very, very young child, of course. ) We hated the Cowboys back then. Now I am married to a Cowboys fan and am slowly converting him, and of course my kids were brainwashed black and gold very early. My work is done
LOL Thanks Steph and welcome to our man cave.
Tell Lexie she owes you a couple of BJ’s now – with NO INTERRUPTIONS!
49er’s all the way.
(Also enjoy the OSU Beavers – I have a Beaver sticker on my car)
You said beaver hehe
Speaking of football, anyone remember the movie Any Given Sunday? The scene that stayed with me was in the locker room after the game, when all those hunks were in various states of semi-nudity and post-shower wetness and towel wraps, and one guy stood there bold as brass buck naked with his schlong hanging down to his knees. Now that was better than the Super Bowl.
I never saw that movie was it any good?
Don’t remember the plot LOL
As I said, nothing bad to say about football. But, not counting that scene, this movie has every f**ing cursing word in English every five minutes of the f**king movie. I didn’t pay attention to the f**ing story because I was distracted with all the cursing and didn’t understand a word of all the f*ck they were saying.
i believe when the film came out it had more of the F word AS DIALOGUE! than any other movie ever. But I believe this site has that record beat now.
Damn fucking straight.
You know if Al Pacino is in a movie there is going to be LOTS of ugly words!! What movie has he not?
I thought it was one of the more realistic football movies around, dealt with the craziness and so forth of pro sports……everyone in it was pretty damn good (okay, Cameron Diaz can’t act all that great…), and of course James Woods as the sleazy doctor is first rate.
I told you. I know nothing about football.
my fav football movie is the one with the guy from Dawson’s Creek, and he and his bestie are the stars trying to get a scholarship – and they meet their uptight teacher in a strip bar, she’s a dancer. very funny and poignant movie
Varsity Blue, Trudy – and I love the part where they say “they put their weiners on the glass!” Lol
It was a pretty good movie. Jamie Fox played Steamin Willie Beeman.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNFft6r6Des
My favorite football movie will forever be The Replacements. It’s totally cheesy but I love it! If I come across it on the TV my day is shot.
I love The Replacements, too. I will watch it anytime it is on TV. It is probably Keanu’s best performance
.
I know people like to trash Keanu but that kiss they have in the bar in that movie? That is a seriously dreamy, hot kiss. Just kissing for the sake of kissing…. Sigh.
That’s exactly what I was thinking about when I said it was his best performance. Sigh is absolutely correct.
For me Keanu can do no wrong. (Movie wise anyway)
I love Keanu. All the way back to Bill and Ted.
I loved Bill and Ted too Jinny
Got to love Keanu. He comes to visit his ohana here.
Keanu is one of my favourite actors. So versatile. And gorgeous!
My son and I love it as well, it is hysterical! And how can you go wrong with Gene Hackman and (rest his soul) Jack Warden? Plus having John Madden and Pat Sumerall doing the commentary made it a lot of fun as well, to hear every tired cliche in the book used sardonically “They are playing like there is no tomorrow…well, because there is no tomorrow”.
Only better, funnier sports movie was “Major League”, with Bob Uecker’s commentary “That ball wouldn’t have been out of a lot of parks” “Which one?” “Yellowstone, maybe” (Uecker did a lot of that ad libbed)
I’m gonna have to look for this again. Here’s from Wikipedia. Look at the cast! Including the real football players.
Any Given Sunday is a 1999 American drama movie directed by Oliver Stone depicting a fictional professional American football team. The film features an ensemble cast, consisting of Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz, Dennis Quaid, Jamie Foxx, James Woods, LL Cool J, Matthew Modine, John C. McGinley, Charlton Heston, Ann-Margret, Lauren Holly, Bill Bellamy, Lela Rochon, Aaron Eckhart, Elizabeth Berkley, Marty Wright, and legendary NFL players Jim Brown and Lawrence Taylor.
The film also featured many American football players including Dick Butkus, Y.A. Tittle, Pat Toomay, Warren Moon, Johnny Unitas, Ricky Watters, Emmitt Smith and Terrell Owens as well as coach Barry Switzer.
Your wife does ROCK! Don’t be sad for your Cowboys. I live in Florida & my niece is a Dolphin cheerleader…..I’m forced into being a Dolfan! They haven’t won a superbowl since I was a child!
Where in FL.?
Pembroke Pines
Ok not too far
RM, I hope you weren’t asking to hit on the niece, Lexie just might do a pam grier on you next time she wants to do ‘research’….
Hmmmm… Are you still ignoring me because of my Redskin comment????
Hi Pat
Hi Pat
Thanks Scarlet, and Lady G….
Hi back!
Hey Pat!
Yes
You are going to have sex in a McDonald’s bathroom?? That place can be a revolving door with all the customers going in and out. Choose your timing carefully
All this football talk has lost me. At least I know where the teams live that ya’ll are discussing. I try anyway
Idk about doing it at Mickey D’s, RM. Think of all those out of school kids roaming around.
Hey, LG, I’ll join the lost in the NFL talk room with you.
I don’t feel sorry for you if you get less than a 100 comments on a post. I get NO comments. But I am no where near as funny as you. And I don’t talk about blow jobs. Maybe I should try that….my Mom might have a hard attack but I’d probably get someone to leave me a damn comment.
We are Cowboy fans…and I don’t care how bad they suck. I was sad to see Barber get traded. And I like watching pretty boy Austin but I’m not sure if it has much to do with his skills on the field. My family has a fantasy football league every year and my husband and I both play (seperate teams) along with my aunts, uncles, and cousins.
What is your blog Jinny, I will comment. You may not want your mom to read it but I will comment. I liked Barber too but he was getting less productive.
No way am I giving you my blog url so you can blab to my readership about my lesbian experience in a bar bathroom. That was just for you….and everyone else that is on your FB page.
Barber was slowing down so I get it, but it still makes me sad. I have the cutest pink Barber jersey (because, hello..it has to be pink and cute) and I guess I’ll have to wear it in his memory now.
Why would you not tell your readers that story it is awesome.
I was showing Manbug the unicorn picture and he asked who you were. I said, “She’s my favorite lesbian”. Is that the wrong answer?
RM: Mom, heart attack. I love my Mom..I don’t want to kill her.
Bug: People are going to get the wrong idea about me…lol. Perfect example of ‘that one time in college’ can possibly follow you for the rest of your life.
I am jealous. My one and only lesbian experience was very cold and clinical and to be honest– confusing. One should only engage in those sort of experiments in the bathroom of a bar, not in mammogram room with a tech who has the same name as you. It just makes it weird
.
That can never be the wrong answer
Remind me to tell y’all about the time I was hit in the face by the steel door of a dancing cage that hung from the ceiling and spun in a bar in Mexico.
I’m seeing a trend here.
OMG I just peed my pants in the office! I needed that laugh after hell day!
I am glad you find my pain funny Jessica.
I will hold this entire blog responsible if I have to buy pants in a bigger size. I am making Crazy Granny’s Better Than Hair/Titty Pot Pie AND coconut cake (the real way with flour, sugar, etc. — not out of a box) right now. We may not eat until midnight, but it smells delicious. I am glad we only talked about blow jobs and football today
.
I’m so glad you’re making the coconut cake the real way!
It is cooling now and I am getting ready to start the real icing. I am really excited about it– I hope it lives up to my expectations
.
Are you doing boiled (very popular in the South) or cream cheese?
Cream cheese. I haven’t even seen the boiled option. Elisabeth– please believe me when I tell you that my culinary skills are those of a 3rd grader
. My husband (aka Manbug) is the talented cook in our family. I often find recipes and start cooking them only to scream for help and flee the kitchen as soon as he arrives 
.
Was the recipe you used cream cheese or boiled?
Is this your recipe Elisabeth that Ladybug is making. I would like to post it on the recipe page
No, I am not privy to that recipe. But the one I used was REALLY, REALLY good. It was made from scratch and 5 sticks of butter. Thank God I don’t have a cholesterol test coming up anytime soon.
*gasp* I think my heart just stopped for a second there.
FIVE sticks?!
Holy shit! It was so good. I can’t move now, but it was so worth it.
The chicken pot pie had a stick and a half of butter plus half and half. My arteries have sludge in them right now.
Did I mention the TWO blocks of cream cheese in the frosting?
Ladybug can you send me the recipe?
No problem. You don’t have a heart condition, right? This is not for cardiac patients.
Ladybug, can you send me the cake?
Yes but I don’t care
Diane! you are going to have to make your own cake!
Ladybug, I can’t wait to get your recipe to try it! I started Deep Autumn Heat today
LG– just sent it to RM. I am trying to talk myself into going upstairs to fold laundry so that I can start Deep Autumn Heat in honor of the coconut cake. I feel certain it should have been the other way around, but I had to finish Theory of Attraction first. Did I hear about that book on here?
Diane– I will send it to you. I should probably overnight it because of all the butter and cream cheese in the frosting
.
This post really brightened up my sick day! Thanks to you and your wife! As to football, I don’t know about your Cowboys but I am confident my Patriots will make the playoffs! Less than a month till the preseason games!
Yes they will make the playoffs again but they will lose. But my cowboys won’t even make the playoffs
Maybe they’ll be like last years Colts and you can get the #1 draft pick
I hope because my philosophy is if you are going to win the SB do as bad as possible so we can get a good quarterback
Cowboys no, Patriots yes! I had to say that, my wedding vows stated that I be a Patriots fan till death do us part. My husband is a Boston boy. Okay with that out of the way……OMG that was hilarious, dude I gotta say your wife is a hoot and you are one lucky guy. My hubby is going to use this particular blog against me for the rest of my life! I can hear it now, Lexi would do it here in the office, Lexi would gives her husband head so much it is routine blah, blah, blah, Damn you Lexi! Honestly I can’t wait to read her book. Actually my husband can’t wait to read her book. If he wants head he is going to have to read it to me, slowly and with feeling.
Does he read the blog?
Yes he does!
Crazy Granny, if you’re out there—– I made the chicken pot pie tonight and these are the quotes:
Manbug: This is really, really good! You made this?
Boy Babybug: This is the best supper ever, Mommy. Can you cook like this more often?
Thanks a lot– now they expect this sort of thing all the time
. I made it by your recipe but substituted half and half for the heavy cream and it still worked great. Thank you!
Selena Made it also but made it low carb and I will be posting that recipe. We were suppose to have it tonight but Lexie is tired.
You know RM, you could have made it. My DH has.
I would granny, I actually wanted to but today has been very bad with work. we decided to do it tomorrow
Ok. Your forgiven. I understand the bad work day.
I’m so glad you all liked it. I always have half and half in the house for my coffee, so if I forget the heavy cream I just use that. I have even used 1% milk.
I usually boil up extra chicken and then I make a batch of chicken dumpling soup. Then we have dinners for a few days. I also freeze the soup up in individual servings for DH for work. Being on opposite shifts its nice to make a big meal thats easy to reheat. Or if we are feeling lazy, to grab out of the freezer. It beats TV dinners anyday.
We were just discussing its freezability tonight at dinner. Good to know.
Your blog has now become the highlight to my days! Thanks for the laugh! You are BEYOND awesome! Most importantly.. did she let you read what she wrote about the blow jobs?? Might lead to reminiscing
LOL thanks SMK and yes and it was good and led to good things.
I’ve decide to repost this because I need an answer almost as bad as I need coconut cake:
Diane (DLV/BJV) on July 8, 2012 at 4:53 pm said:
Hey! I just noticed that when RM posts, his posts are shaded in grey. (not silver, grey) I want my posts to have a color too! I want magenta colored posts!
What the hell are you talking about? all of the colors are the same.
No there not. The reply comments are slightly different colors.
Your comments.
Thank you.
No they aren’t. Stop drinking granny
Your comment is in a light grey box. Ours are white! Open your damn eyes! Oh right, I forgot, you’re colorblind.
They’re right, you know. Your comments are highlighted because YOU ARE THE MATADOR.
At least I think that’s why…and where the hell did that “matador” crap come from? I know it was a post, but I’ve forgotten…
RM, you need to look at your website from a different computer. Your posts are shaded differently. I would have called it light blue, not gray, but everybody sees a little differently, right granny??
I’m on my ipad. So the colors are a little different. I don’t get the link for recipes showing on the top of the page. Been trying to figure out why.
I want an ipad!!
Ignore granny she is drunk
Colored posts and the edit button. Can you say megalomaniac?
I just realized you have a different avatar on the blog than facebook. why and how?
Well on the blog I am Dirty Little Vixen so I loaded a fox on Gravatar. But on my FB page, I wanted a meerkat because they are my favorite animals. (Sorry dolphins.) I don’t think Gravatar talks to FB does it?
Ok, I will pretend you just didn’t ask that question. But here is the answer. FB is not associated with wordpress. If you want the same avi, you need to go to FB and do it separately.
I have coconut cake now. You want some of it. I will need to either see your most recent cholesterol test results or you will have to sign a waiver
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I must be in some sort of butter-induced near coma. I totally forgot my “?”.
Today I found on pinterest a mounds cupcake. It looks so good. I will have to make them. Or i may just make it as a cake.
Keep me posted on how that turns out. I love Mounds.
Me too. I might add some toasted slivered Almonds to make it like an Almond Joy. I think i’ll do it half & half.
Oh God, will somebody get me some fucking coconut dessert?! I’m jonesing here!
That’s how I felt yesterday. I was dying and had to wait until tonight for my coconut.
Does anyone remember the Bundt cake mixes? The chocolate macaroon was awesome.
Loved your post RM! Soooo funny! I feel bad that you were left high and dry, but glad you finally got yours in the end
Don’t know much about football, but the hubs loves it. He just got done drafting players for his fantasy football. I am sure he has an opinion on the Cowboys. All I know for sure is that he is a die hard Michigan fan. I told him about your blog about Magic Mike and you and your wife’s conversation. He thought it was hysterical. I am slowly converting him to your blog but it’s taking a while. I’m not so sure I want him to comment because he may offend you. It think he’s jealous. Keep the hilarious posts coming, I look forward to them! 
Thanks Lulu and tell him not to worry it is impossible to offend me
Diane– once you get an answer to your question, answer mine. Is it senses of humor or sense of humors? I would says senses, but neither seems correct. It is really bothering me.
Sorry, I did see that. Your first one is correct. It is senses of humor. You pluralize the noun and not the preposition.
I thought so. It just looks weird. I assumed it was the same rule as brothers-in-law.
Isn’t it just sense of humor? Or am i just missing the question?
No she was actually talking about more than one. In a post up above.
Thanks.
It’s senses–multiple people have senses/plural but there is only one humor, at least of the type you’re writing about.
While I enjoyed the football and blow job discussion today, I do have a giddy feeling of victory that we are now talking about coconut cake, chicken pot pie, and grammar
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Well played LB
It is now an issue of blog honor…..
It’s called derailing a thread. Urban dictionary: “The act of throwing a thread in a discussion forum off topic, oftentimes so much so that the original discussion is unable to continue.” I look at it as a kind of perverted whisper down the lane and it is one of my favorite things to do!
Dolphins do that shit all the time
Yes they do, fish boy, yes they do.
I read this article today about how much dolphins love pussy
No, you didn’t. I am taking the kids to the Sea Life aquarium and I am going to have Girl Babybug ask one of the Sea Lifers if that is true
LB, it is his continued campaign to have me eat pussy. I have told him, IF I ever have a lesbian experience, she is doing me, I am not doing her. But unlike his manhood, his hope springs eternal.
Somehow I missed this ongoing campaign. Interesting. Yeah– I’m with you. I would say be on the receiving end of that arrangement. I just don’t have the vagussy appreciation necessary to have the real lesbian experience. I will stick to letting the mammographer fondle my love pillows.
I need to read the urban dictionary more often. I didn’t even know that had a name. It is kind of fun, isn’t it?
Yes it is! Bedtime. Good night!
Goodnight, Diane!
Nite Diane.
Good nite Diane.
Ok….so I’ve been reading all evening( for you RM) and have missed all the fun. Not to mention if you look back, I have been mostly talking to myself. I want some coconut cake dammit, and some attention!
Good night Pat!
Nite Pat.
I have coconut cake, Pat. Do you want me to send it to you? I promised Diane some (cake — I feel the need to be very specific now that I know about RM’s campaign).
What are you reading?
Yes I would LOVE some coconut cake, and I am reading Deep Autumn Heat also Lady G.
Going back to it, nite Granny, LadyB, LadyG.
See you in the morning……
Good Morning Luci!!!!!!
Pat, I am trying to read too. Its difficult to divide time between this conversation and my book though. I’m reading Deep Autumn Heat and having trouble getting my nose out of it!
As always RM, loved it. Keep em coming. After a bitch of a day (fight with SIL who swears he’s never coming back over) I needed a good laugh.
Is that son in law?
SIL – Son In Law
MIL – Mother In Law
DIL – Daughter In Law
FIL – Father In Law
DD – Dear Daughter
DS – Dear Son
DH – Dear Hubbie
DW – Dear Wife
So would would sister-in-law be?
Of course what I meant was, WHAT would sister-in-law be?
RM – Dallas? Really? At least your not a Bears fan.
Morning Pat!!
Crazygranny is your recipe complicated to make? The keyword with me is simple. I need new SIMPLE recipes because i am bored of cooking always the same ones. But i hate cooking so i need to find a balance between good food and easy cooking
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Lucie– I made it last night and I would say it is pretty simple. It took me a little while just because I had to cook the chicken and let it cool before I started making the pot pie part. I am not a great cook and I don’t love cooking, but this was within my range of abilities
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By the way, I have eaten rabbit before and it wasn’t bad at all. It was just fried — not prepared any of the ways you mentioned
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Lucie, it is pretty easy to make, just a little time consuming. To cut down on the time, you can use a hot rotisserie chicken form the store. It then has both dark and white meat instead of just the breasts.
Or if you are having chicken 1 night just make extra to save for later in the week.
RM– did you get the email I sent last night?
I don’t know let me check
I did not get an email Ladybug
I will send it again. Damn! I knew I should have saved that after I typed it. You had better be glad I asked before leaving for the zoo. Otherwise you would have to wait all day for the coconut awesomeness of that cake
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Look for it before 9am CST. If you don’t see it, tell me and I will send it by carrier pigeon or smoke signals.
Ok thanks.
I got it LB don’t re-type it
You suck! I had just finished typing it when I saw your email. My forgiveness can be purchased with coconut cake
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Ok I will bake you a cake
Morning Luci and all! I see the regulars are up early!!! Just checking in, have loads of la****y to do,today. So I’ll be checking in during the day.
Luci…I have a SIMPLE recipe involving cherry tomatos, pasta and goat cheese. Do you like any of those? It can be served warm or as a cold salad.
Let me know…..it is easy !
Morning Rm and Lexie…. and everyone else to soon appear….
LOL– We type all manner of obscenities on this blog, but it is necessary to pixelate words having to do with housework. That is awesome!
Good morning, Pat!
Good Morning! I love that you spelled la****y like that Pat. It should definitely be a curse word. Especially today when it’s so damn hot. I’m sweating and it’s barely 7am. Sweating is for exercising and sex not for sitting here checking my email and RM’s blog.
Happy Hump Day, everyone.
Pat, tomatoes and goat cheese make a wonderful combination for any dish.
Lucie, when we were in Italy, rabbit seemed to be a popular protein to eat. I abstained. LOL I just couldn’t do it, but my husband ate some and said he really liked it. But he is much more of a carnivore than I am.
I’m with you Selena , Rabbit was on the menu everywhere in Italy…but not for me. I’ll send you the recipe if you want…don’t know if Rm wants to post it, so let me know if you want it. It’s yummy and very easy. Crusty bread, glass of something…..
yes please Pat! Sounds yummy!
Thanks, Pat. I could make it for my husband and brothers who all loved rabbit when they had it in Italy.
I’ll take the glass of something yummy. LOL
Selena can send you some rabbit recipes but remind me pls as i not on a pc at the moment.
I sent them to RM of course but he only acknowledgesemails if they have pastizzi in them.
I don’t have any recipes myself, but next time I call my sister (she lives in Italy) I will ask her.
I know she made meatballs with rabbit, and everyone raved about them. I abstained. LOL I used to be a vegetarian, but started eating meat a few years ago, so small steps for me.
Pat say she has a recipe as well.
I want that recipe Pat, I love cherry tomatos, pasta and goat cheese. It sounds simple and delicious.
Sent it to RM! It is so good!
Good morning, all…must be a dirty clothes kinda day. I’ll be doing the same thing and I refuse to even say the word. I’m really frustrated…got a frickin’ iPhone and still trying to figure out how it works.
Hope you all have a wonderful day. I just read in the paper about an alligator eating the arm of a teenaged kid in Florida. I know some of you live in Florida. I can’t believe people still swim in “wild” bodies of water.I’ll take my California earthquakes ANY day.
It took a LONG time to figure the iPad Kate, luckily I had a friend who had one, and trained me!
Once you figure it out, you don’t know how you did anything without them!
I chose to get a laptop instead of an I-Pad, it’s bad enough I have an Android phone and now people expect me to text them. LOL Too much technology makes me dizzy.
Alligators are all over, they travel between the drainage ditches from one body of water to another. I saw one crossing the road at night. It was probably about 9 feet long.
That is scary, Lexie. Of course up here, when driving the back roads in the country we see a moose on the loose from time to time. They can do major damage to a car, if people aren’t careful.
My kids would love to see a wild moose
We try to go to the springs at certain times of the year to see the manatee’s
We have an area not from us that have lots of deer, and the kids feed them apples. They’re so friendly, they just walk right up to us.
I don’t know if I’d want to get too close to a moose though. LOL
In the autumn, they can be spotted a lot more. I just drive real slow in certain areas.
What makes you a Cowboy’s Fan????
Why Dallas and not some Florida team?
When I was little they were the only team on TV
Since they had to play another team, there were obviously at least two teams on tv. Or did they just stand around on the field and pat each other’s ass?
I miss you, Diane!
Win the lotterey dammit!
I’ll buy some scratch off tickets today
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They just played with each other
As opposed to playing with themselves?
And for kids growing up in the 90′s, they seemed to dominate the police blotters, too:). RM is right, it seemed like back in the day when we were both kids (contrary to popular myth, I was not cloned or hatched fully formed from radioactive debris in a toxic waste dump in Perth Amboy, NJ…….), the national TV broadcasts (back when you had a handful of broadcast channels in many places) always seemed ot feature the cowboys……..though it is interesting, when RM was growing up the Dolphins were a feared team, would figure they would have regional broadcasts for that if he was in florida…kind of like when I was growing up and had the spectre of watching the Jets on the regional broadcast, who unlike the Dolphins were only feared by Jet’s fans.
I get it – Tony Dorsett and Tom Landry – they were on every Sun even up here in New England and the Patriots were pathetic then
Selena…sorry no rabbit recipe’s, just pasta with goat cheese!
Luci…will message you on FB.
Okay, I get it now. LOL Always on the look out for new pasta recipes for the family. I abstain, because I can’t eat pasta any longer. Goat and feta cheese are delicious.
Are you a fan of pine nuts? Add them to your pasta dishes with the goat cheese, they’re good in anything. I eat them as snacks.
Oops, I think we turned the football thread into cooking again.
Maybe we should post some pork recipes? Aren’t footballs made out of pigskins?
Nope, genuine cowhide leather.
Ladybug, saw a post that you were finishing Theory of Attraction. I read that too and loved it! I did hear about it from this site. RM did a review on it way back when.
It was 114 yesterday here, and I melted. Its like standing in front of a bonfire. Sposed to be the same today. I have to run errand early. See ya later
LG– I loved it, too. I love nerds so Ivan was totally my man. The weird part is that I “got” him. I went to college with a bunch of people who would go on to become rocket scientists. The too smart to match their own clothes crowd appeals to me. I was so in love with Ivan by the end of it.
We are in the midst of a cool down here. The high is only in the mid-90′s so it feels like spring to me after last week. It is supposed to warm back up in a few days. Stay cool
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Where’s my cake? I already have coconut cake so you need to make me something different. Are you any good at baking chocolate cakes?
Your home….how was the zoo???
Yes. We live about 20 minutes from the zoo so our trips are usually just 3-4 hours long. It is nice to be able to go for the morning and come home before they babybugs reach that point of no return where the are tired and angry and inconsolable
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Oh — I didn’t answer the “how was it” part. Clearly I am delusional. It was great. We saw the bird show that a friend on mine is helping to put on. The kids LOVED it. We saw the polar bear and rode the train. Those are pretty much their favorite things. The elephants were, according to Girl Babybug, “not cool because the stink and pee so much”.
LB, I love Theory of Atrraction for the nerd also. I could totally understand how the control would be comforting for him. And she found out that she liked it too!
I have a good choc cake recipe, I posted it on FB a while back for everyone, thats before we met you. It is a sheet cake, not a round cake, w/ a pour on icing. I’ll send it to RM. Its easy, I use regular flour (not cake flour), though it does take a little buttermilk (you can substitute milk + vinegar and it tastes the same).
Ok all, just came back from Magic Mike! It was cute! Mattthew Mc fuckitis is disgusting! I really liked Herman the pig!!!
Heading to bed….hope everyone had a good evening!
RM, e-mail coming your way!!
Pat, Mike McConnaughy did a great job w/ his part. That was what he was sposed to be -disgusting! He was great.
I loved Herman the pig too!
I mean Matthew McC..
Okay, all this coconut cake talk is making me so happy! Especially because I am going to make my special coconut cake tomorrow for a party! I’m also making cupcakes! Chocolate ones. And maybe vanilla ones, too. We shall see….
Elisabeth, you are such a tease! Want some, want some….
I’m late to the party (as usual), but that is fucking hilarious. Sorry about your balls being all blue, but I can’t believe you were actually arguing.
I know I am an idiot