Last week Gina Maxwell had the audacity to suggest she could write better male dialogue then me and I challenged her to a contest. The idea was this: Five guys sitting in a sports bar talking and one of the guys tells his buddies that his girlfriend broke up with him. I would have easily won but Ruthie pointed out a flaw in my logic – there is no way the contest could be judged because how the hell would women know which is more realistic since they have no idea how men talk when they are alone because they aren’t there. So I changed the rules and said the contest would be about the best male dialogue for a romance novel. Here is Gina’s:
“Jesus Christ, how many hits are we going to let these guys have today?” Larry asked, slamming his empty bottle of Bud on the table. “I swear, sometimes I think Peavy forgets he plays for the White Sox.”
Steve tipped the rest of his beer back and countered, “At least he struck seven guys out already. Could be worse.”
“Thank you, Captain Optimism,” Terry, Larry’s twin, said as he chucked a few pretzels at Steve.
“I’ll tell you what’s going to be worse,” Andy, their resident genius and walking sports book said. “Tomorrow, when Gavin Floyd starts. He’s entering with a 4-11 record and a 6.29 ERA against the Twins. And to top it off, five of their nine hitters have career averages of .375 or better against him, including Mauer, who’s had fifteen straight plate appearances with the guy. So unless a miracle occurs, we’re fucked tomorrow, too.”
Remy sat back and listened to his four closest friends banter back and forth about the game. Normally he’d be in the thick of it with them, but tonight he couldn’t muster the proper argumentative spirit. He wasn’t even sure why he’d come to the sports bar to meet the guys. He’d rather be pounding out his frustrations in the gym or at the batting cages.
“Hey, Rem, did you hear what I said?”
Remy looked over at Steve. “Who could hear anything over these assholes?” Good. That was better than admitting he’d been lost in his own thoughts.
“I said that Susan wants to go see that male stripper movie with Lexie this weekend. She told me to ask you if Lex had any plans.”
Andy piped up. “Oh, Magic Mike! That actually looks like a pretty good movie.”
The twins stopped what they were doing long enough to address Andy’s comment with a simultaneous, “What the fuck did you just say?!”
Andy pointed his finger in defense. “ If you even bothered to read the reviews you’d know there’s actually very little stripping and that it focuses on the friendship between guys and what people do and sacrifice to achieve their dreams in these hard economic times. So fuck off.”
Terry and Larry looked at each other for a few seconds as though communicating telepathically before turning their attention back to Andy and rendering their verdict in unison. “You’re still gay.”
Remy couldn’t help but laugh at the brothers’ antics, and he was relieved the focus had switched to Andy, successfully allowing him to avoid Steve’s question.
“So what should I tell Susan about Lexie?”
Orrrrr not. He took a few fortifying gulps of his beer, then proceeded to peel the label off as though it were the most interesting thing he could be doing. “Susan’ll have to call Lexie to find out, I guess. I don’t know her schedule anymore.”
Steve was the only other one in the group in a long-term relationship, thereby making him the only one attuned to reading between the lines. “Fuck, man, I’m sorry to hear that. When?”
He shrugged. Took a swig of beer. “Last week. Moved in with her parents until she finds a place.”
Larry held up his hand to his twin, calling a temporary truce for their current debate, and turned to Remy. “So you’re single again?”
“And on the rebound?” Terry.
Andy and the brothers grew big, shit-eating grins on their faces and called out, “Rebound night at the Admiral,” and started high-fiving each other as they broke out into stories of their favorite strippers from the high-priced club.
Remy just let them do their thing. There was no stopping them once the topic of naked, gyrating women on poles came up. And the last thing he fucking wanted was all the shit they’d give him when he told them he didn’t plan on joining them, despite that it had become a tradition when any of them got dumped. Or got bad news. Or good news. Or the wind changed.
Leaning in, Steve said, “So what happened?”
Remy rubbed a hand down his face and placed his forearms on the table. He’d been sleeping like shit without Lexie next to him and he was starting to feel twice his age. “I don’t know, man. It’s the same argument we’ve had half a dozen times. She says I work too much and don’t show her how much she means to me. I say that by working my ass off to make partner in the firm I’m showing her exactly how much she means to me because I’m sacrificing all my time to put us in the position to give her everything she’s ever wanted.”
“And you’ve had that fight several times?”
“Yeah, but this time was different. There was no fight. When she told me she was leaving it was like all the fight had been sucked out of her. She wouldn’t even let me say anything. Then she just…left.”
“Have you tried calling?”
“Yeah. Straight to voicemail.”
“So what’re you going to do?”
Remy shrugged, looked up at the TV above the bar for something to focus on. Not that he was paying any damn attention to the game. “Nothing I can do. She’s made it perfectly clear she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
At some point Andy must have started listening again because he suddenly interjected with what he no doubt considered benevolent wisdom. “I knew you weren’t the brightest in our bunch, Rem—after all, that would be me—but I never knew you were this dense either.”
Remy cut a glare over to his friend. “Excuse me?”
“Look, it’s not real hard to see what her problem is. Even the Tweedles over there probably know it.”
Remy looked to the brothers in question. After sucking the meat off a buffalo wing, Larry said, “She doesn’t want all the fancy shit you seem to need to throw at her, man.”
Terry continued his brother’s train of thought. “No shit. You’re more obsessed about keeping up with the Joneses—a.k.a. her family—than she is.”
And Andy pulled the train into the station. “The point is, Lexie’s still the girl we met in college who did keg stands and beat the shit out of us at poker. But you let where she came from dictate how you think she wants to live her life, and she’s never been about any of that.”
Holy shit. They were right. It’s what Lexie had been trying to tell him all along, but he’d had his head so far up her father’s ass, trying to impress him. Trying to prove that his little girl wouldn’t be a pauper just because she chose to be with the son of a plumber and school teacher. He exhaled heavily and sat back in his chair, rubbing his hands over his face. “Fuck! I can’t believe I let him get in my head like that.”
“I know,” Larry agreed, winning the fight over the last wing and smiling as he took a bite. “You totally played into his hands. Now he’s got Lexie back and you’re out of the picture.”
“But the good news is,” Terry added, “that you can accompany us to the Admiral without any recrimination, and Lolly Pop is in town for the weekend doing a special show.”
Larry grinned. “Man, the thing that woman does with a Tootsie Pop is downright criminal.”
The twins high-fived each other among a chorus of whoops like they were already front row for Lolly’s show. Andy and Steve told them to basically knock it the fuck off already. Remy paid little attention to any of it. Plans were already forming in his mind on how to fix things with Lexie. And he would fix things.
When the guys quieted to a dull roar, Steve repeated his earlier question. “So, now what’re going to do?”
Remy stood up, his stool scraping back on the floor as he slammed some money on the counter for his drinks. “I’m going to tell a certain condescending asshole to shove it, and take my woman back.” And that’s exactly what he did.
So much to say. First Gina is a great writer – that’s why she recently signed a seven book deal – because she can write. The above dialogue is so good for a romance novel but soooo fucking bad for real life. But before I get into that I concede to Gina and admit defeat. She can write better male dialogue than I can for a romance novel – simply because it isn’t real male dialogue and I don’t know how to write fake male dialogue.
So she won but I want to point out a couple of things that are seriously wrong with this dialogue:
“Thank you, Captain Optimism”. ‘Thank you Captain Optimism”.
Are you fucking serious? There is no man on the planet who would ever say something like that. Ever.
Andy pointed his finger in defense. “If you even bothered to read the reviews you’d know there’s actually very little stripping and that it focuses on the friendship between guys and what people do and sacrifice to achieve their dreams in these hard economic times. So fuck off.”
I am fucking speechless. I don’t know if this is creative writing or women actually think a man would say something like this. Andy is at a sports bar giving a synopsis of a male stripper movie in the middle of a game? And he is explaining that it focuses on friendships and dreams? Holy fucking Anderson Cooper Gina what the fuck?
And Andy pulled the train into the station. “The point is, Lexie’s still the girl we met in college who did keg stands and beat the shit out of us at poker. But you let where she came from dictate how you think she wants to live her life, and she’s never been about any of that.”
Holy shit. They were right. It’s what Lexie had been trying to tell him all along, but he’d had his head so far up her father’s ass, trying to impress him. Trying to prove that his little girl wouldn’t be a pauper just because she chose to be with the son of a plumber and school teacher. He exhaled heavily and sat back in his chair, rubbing his hands over his face. “Fuck! I can’t believe I let him get in my head like that.”
Just so I understand this – Andy broke down the problem of Remy’s relationship and Remy realized Andy was right is that correct? BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Terry and Larry looked at each other for a few seconds as though communicating telepathically before turning their attention back to Andy and rendering their verdict in unison. “You’re still gay.”
Yeah, um, that isn’t really what we would say.
Ok now I made fun of her dialogue because it isn’t real but it is perfect for a romance novel – that’s why she is a professional and I am not because she is a good writer and I am not. But what I can do is tell you what it would really be like.
I have been in this actual situation many times and there are only two possible outcomes.
The First:
“Remy what’s your fuckin’ problem”? Andy asked.
“Lexie broke up with me” Remy replied.
All of the guys in unison “bummer man”
Then they go back to watching the game. That’s it.
Second possibility:
“Remy what’s your fuckin’ problem”? Andy asked.
“Lexie broke up with me” Remy replied.
“Good she was a bitch anyway” said Andy.
“Yeah I hated that bitch. Fuck her” said Terry
“Yeah she was a whore man. She fucked everyone before she met you I just didn’t want to tell you” said Larry.
“Yeah I could have fucked her if I wanted” said Steve “she was always looking at me like she wanted to fuck me. You’re lucky she’s gone”
I would like to point out that we don’t really mean those things we are just trying to make our friend feel better. Now the second scenario is most common because men are stupid and we haven’t learned how uncomfortable the next week is when they get back together.
Ok…I actually am speechless. Gina I want to hear more of your story!!! I like that Remy!!!
RM, do guys really say that?? That once you break up with a girl, they tell you she’s a bitch, and she has fucked everyone before she started dating you?? That’s downright cruel! I think it would be too hard reading your dialogue…I’d feel sorry for him since the other guys are being mean. Sniff!
Yes it is true Pat.
LOL RM, both scenarios sound realistic, but I’m guessing there’s an editor out there who would send back the manuscript with RED all over it and tell the author to revise, revise, revise, revise.
But you did make some valid points, you would just need to add some more layering to the scene for it to be in a romance novel.
what is layering?
Giving the character and scene more depth. Even if they are minor characters, you want to layer the scene so that it creates a good visual for the reader, as Gina did, so that not all the characters sound the same.
Selena, he was hoping it was something sexual.
LOL Diane. I knew that in the back of my mind, but I wanted to clarify what I mean, in case he ever did decide to write a book.
Oops, I forgot, I’m on a time-out, I’ve been sent to the recipe corner. LOL
where is the recipe corner? is there a someone-will-come-to-your-house-and-cook-all-your-meals version of the time out? I’d be a bad for that.
BTW, Mr. Baby Blue Alpha, nobody puts baby in the corner! LOL
Thanks, Patty-Cakes.
Gina, well done given that it’s hard to write a scene with so much going on in a bar and so many characters.
I do agree with RM on the Magic Mike assessment, though. However, it also would depend on what sub-genre of romance this story would fit into.
You both did well, and both gave me a lot of LOL’s.
Gina,
I’d buy your book.
Thank you, Kris!
Only 8 days left! Wahoo!!!
I’m not even a man and I know your first scenario is right on. That’s exactly how my husband would react to that situation. Hilarious!!
I agree Coutney. It’s the same with my husband.
Hahahahahs! That was great, Gina and RM!
I think the same thing, RM. Captain Optimism? A review of MM? Sorry, Gina, even I had a dard time believing that one. Still like RM pointed out, great for a romance novel.
RM, I also agree with real life convo going with that second scenario.
Thanks for brightening up my Friday!
Love your avatar
Thanks, RM!
First, Gina is a brilliant writer. I loved her version for a romance novel, but you do win for real life male dialogue. My favorite line from your response:
Holy fucking Anderson Cooper Gina what the fuck?
I am pretty sure that I pulled a muscle laughing at that. I will have Manbug read this and see what he says.
Yes I would like his opinion.
What? My opinion isn’t good enough for you? Watch it or I will start a discussion on stain removal
.
You are too funny. Your opinion is fine but I want to know what manbug thinks.
If only you knew what I have to do to get him to post on this blog. I am basically whoring myself out so you can get a male opinion or two
.
Okay– that looks bad
. I am only whoring myself out for one male’s opinion. And I am not even really sure it can be considered “whoring” when he would get it anyway.
Yeah, I have to agree with your assessment, RM. Gina’s writing = good fiction. Your writing = real life. I had to write a “guys discussing a break-up” scene today for my WIP and the whole time I was like, “WTH am I doing? Guys wouldn’t be discussing a breakup! (At least not for more than 2 sentences.)”
You are correct.
That is why I think that the first scenario is more realistic myself, Linda.
You are probably right but I think I have heard the 2nd scenario more but we were drunk most of the time.
Holy fucking shit, I’m laughing my ass off!!! You’re right, Remy, some of that was pretty lame if it was real, but in reality guys who hang together generally are very similar, or at least act similar when together. In a book, you have to give everyone unique personalities and quirks or everyone becomes two-dimensional. So Steve was the “relationship-sympathetic” friend, Andy was the “educated and slightly out of touch with his maleness” friend, and the twins…well, they’re the transparent guy’s guys. You made it hard for me by putting so many people in the scene. You’ll notice there usually aren’t many more than four people in a scene, and if there are, they don’t have speaking roles.
At any rate, your assessment was funny, and your realistic scenarios were fucking hysterical! And if that’s truly how deep (and I use that term very loosely) guys are in real life, is it any wonder women long for the heroes of a romance novel?
[Zing!]
I agree with you Gina but I bet your husband agrees with me.
Of course he would…IF THE CHALLENGE WAS FOR MOST RELISTIC DIALOGUE! But it WASN’T!
Need me to hold your coat Gina, I have band-aids…..
Ladybug, look at all your emoticons!!!
High five!!
Thanks, Pat, that’s sweet of you, but I don’t want to break a nail. I need Diane up in this dojo to take care of my light work. Where’s my Enforcer? DIAAAAAAAANNNNNNE!
I think you are both right, and heres why.
It all depends on the amount of alcohol consumed at the time of the question. Men get all touchy,feely,emotional when they have had a few drinks. Gina’s would work for this. It is awesome for a romance book.
Yours, RM, is spot on at the beginning of the night before alcohol is consumed.
Thanks Granny.
Thank you, Granny!!!
Hahahaha! Your dialogue reads more like a sitcom. I loved it. Holy crap I can’t breathe.
Thanks Squirel.
Women do have a version of the “She fucked everyone” scenario. But it would be more like:
“He didn’t deserve you anyway! You’re too good for him. Let’s go get margaritas and ice cream.”
LOL!
Was it something I said? ;D
Yes it was funny
More people need to appreciate my sense of humor!
Well, at least you know you can’t write the dialogue for a romance novel. However, I have heard guys speak like that about a break up and this is what goes through my mind “what a dumb-ass”.
I never said we were smart. As a matter of fact i think I said we were dumb.
I know that you have said that men are idiots, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking that.
You should think that because we can be idiots
First- I must look up Gina’s books now b/c I totally forgot this was a dare and thought I was reading a book by the end.
Second- I now must follow this blog because your response to her writing was about the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. LOL
Third- I love Anderson Cooper… Not that my love for him is at all relevant but just thought I’d throw that in there.
Thanks Minx and I like Anderson Cooper as well – as a friend.
Thank you, Minx! [shameless self-promotion in 3...2...1...] My debut novel, SEDUCING CINDERELLA, releases the 16th of this month!!!
Just when I think my TBR can’t get any bigger…
Oh, and it’s going to be sooooo good!
I’m really starting to get impatient…sigh!
WAIT!!! Ten days from today…..YAY!!
When my favorite authors come out with a new book, it goes to the top of my list
Can’t wait for this to publish!!
I love you guys!!!!
Gina, is there a preorder link ?
No, sorry, MJ. Entangled doesn’t do pre-orders with the digital lines. Keep your eyes peeled on FB on the 16th, though. My technical release date is the 15th, but it takes B&N and Amazon up to 24 hours to get the links to go live. As soon as the links go live, I’ll be able to (finally!!!) post my cover. So think of that as the Bat Signal…when you see the cover it’s a GO!!! LOL
I may do the stripping myself to save some money.
We will do a big thing here on the blog for Gina’s release day. Maybe we’ll hire strippers.
Hire? I thought you could outdance Channing?
Strippers for lil ole me? SUH-WEET!!!
Wow RM, you got your ass handed to you in this throw down! Gina has some serious talent, but I have to agree with you on the parts you recognized as not so realistic in her writing. I am reading a romance by Leigh Greenwood (a man) and I have really enjoyed his writing. If you ever wrote a book RM, I have a feeling it would be much shorter than Gina’s. But, since size doesn’t matter I’m sure you’ll survive. Lol. The second scenario really paints those men as real assholes. I would have thought the first scenario would have been the standard response. Most men I know don’t give a shit about defending another man’s honor, they would just say what’s necessary in certain situations. Enjoyed reading both your and Gina’s writing in this post!
Thanks Lulu and it does make us sound like assholes and granny is right that it does depend how drunk we are. But sometimes we say stupid things to try and make out friend feel better and it is not good things.
I think sometimes guys say these things because they’re not comfortable dealing with the emotions.
After all, what if one of the guys said something sweet and the other guy hugged him. In a sports bar! LOL
You have no idea how right you are.
Think of it this way, RM. If Playboy published “realistic” dialogue of what women do when they get together for a slumber party, men would NEVER buy another magazine.
What does that magazine do? They publish men’s fantasies of what women do at these functions…pillow fights in panties, tickle fights.
When realistically, they may be scarfing down pizza, chocolate, wine and gossiping about celebrities or shoes.
Thanks, Lulu.
First of all, you are right, Gina is a great writer. Her dialogue seems manly and careless, and believable. But it is also insightful, without being overly emotional. I felt empathy but I could see Remy’s problem was all his fault.
Second: you are right, is a romance novel dialogue, very well written, but I have absolutely no way to corroborate if it is realistic. But I’m afraid it is not. The first time an aquaintance of my husband gave him an advice about women, he came to me complaining, I guess it gave him nightmares.
And last: It’s a romance novel. who cares if it isn’t realistic, if the writer is talented?
THANK YOU, GRETTEL!!! You got everything I intended to show in this! I now adore you. I hope you’re okay with that.
Awwwwwww, thank you! I just gave my opinion. I’m sure I’m going to love your books. (Let’s hug each other and see how Mr. RM sulks)
I think men like it when women hug each other. LOL
Nipple contact
LOL! Hate to shatter this for you, but we don’t hug each other that close or tight for a boob smash, let alone nipple contact.
Wait…we don’t?
Um, thanks to this specific thread, I dreamed last night that I worked at some sort of stripper/musical theater/sex shop place, and a guy paid me money to hold my shirt up with another one of the female employees and let him take a picture of us making nipple contact. LMAO
Gina, my first thought was WOW! That Rm could throw out a scenario and you can write that off the top of your head is just awesome!! I could never do that – hence why I am not an aspiring writer
That said, and you know I love you girlfriend, while I was reading, my mind was saying ‘naaa, that’s not true to life’. I don’t think guys would say that (those lines that RM pointed out anyway). And I am very picky about my stories and I want the dialogue to be true to life.
But I still liked it, even though I felt that a bunch of guys wouldn’t say that. And oh, thanks for clarifying that Andy was gay, b/c I so thought that too!
He came out yesterday LG
well how was I supposed to know she was referring to A. Cooper? And was this scene before or after Remy and Lexie got married?
I’m really behind on the gossip. Anderson Cooper is the news guy who is Gloria Vanderbilt’s son?
He’s gay? Not that it matters, but up in Canada we don’t get stuff like that on the news. I have to rely on Twitter and FB for Hollyweird news. LOL
I don’t know, he works for CNN.
That’s the one Selena. It was an open secret.
Good challenge. Gina’s writing was excellent but I also zoned out during the baseball talk – that was baseball right? Gina’s scenario was more compelling. RM’s was just downright hilarious. I’ve heard guys talk and they’re not normally too wordy but to the point and crude – just as RM said they were. I’d call the whole thing a huge success for both sides because you both did what you set out to do and both versions were great. Would I read a romance novel written by RM? Yup. I would suppose it’d be quite entertaining. Thank you Gina Maxwell. I enjoyed what you wrote. RM…..you are as usual: DA MATADOR!
Thank you, Skeletor Vixen! And, yes, that was baseball. It killed me to look that shit up. I have no idea what the hell any of it means. But I figured if they were at a sports bar, there’d be sports talk. LOL
Thanks Skeletor. It was suppose to be football but Gina fucked up.
LOL You’re such an ass.
Okay, look, people…I feel as though I need to defend myself here. First, let’s remember that the challenge was NOT to write what guys would say in REAL LIFE, but rather what they would say in a ROMANCE NOVEL.
You can’t make “the other guys” as cool or manly as the hero. They’re just minor characters, there to help your hero figure his shit out so we can get on with the wooing of the heroine. [note: unless of course said minor characters will get their own book in a series, in which case you can't make them total douches.]
Also, I wrote that on the fly and fast as hell because SOMEONE was up my ass to get it to him so he could post the damn challenge (which, for the record, he didn’t do for a week because he quickly realized that his scene was inferior to mine).
So, is it my best work? Hell no! Please do not judge my novel-writing abilities on this scene. I promise–and Ruthie can vouch for me if she joins this at any point–my male dialogue is much better in the finished drafts of my books.
Pinky swear!
You do not have to defend yourself you did a great job – that’s why you won. Like LG said I just threw it at you and you handled it. I spent much more time on mine then you did and it sucked.
RM: perhaps learning to write is somewhat like building a new highway in that one much forge new pathways in order to travel to the desired destination? Translation: writing is a skill that may not come easy at first but once you get those creative pathways opened you’ll travel to your destination faster……Or something like this. I’m like a friggin confucius/confused.
I agree.
Gina, I was writing your defense as you were writing this.
Gina! WOW! That was a really good on-the-fly scene. And someone needs to get off your ass so your creative juices can flow
When is Seducing Cinderella coming out? And can I pre-order it??
Thanks, LG! LOL Seducing Cinderella will be available for download on the 16th this month! Sorry, no pre-orders available.
Gina– I could work on writing something for a year and it would be nowhere near this awesome. I hear “real” male conversations all the time. Like Diane said, I don’t want to pay to read them in a book
.
You don’t need to defend what you wrote, he gave you a scene that is not easy to write, especially on the fly and especially not knowing where the story will be going.
Yeah. I’m gonna have to agree with RM on this one. I don’t see any of that conversation happening between actual men. I’d say that scenario #2 is the most likely to happen when a break-up is discussed among men. Unfortunate but true.
Manbug my brother. It’s funny because now that you commented we all know you are about to get laid. Have fun man!
See……that’s how real guys talk……warts and all…….
I am trying to condition him like one of Pavlov’s dogs
. According to the “real” male dialogue at his office, he has a much better home life than his other married friends 8O.
Pat, I am broadening my emoticon horizons
.
Well, shit! How did my big eyes not work?
You put a period after it.
That was fun. Great points on both sides and Gina you do write a good scene. Kudos to both of you! Well done.
RM, can’t I even read a romance novel in peace without having to put it down and come on here and stare you down?
OK, let’s talk about the publishing industry and romance novels. And understand I am talking about marketability. I have been reading romance novels for over 30 years now. I know a little bit about the industry and its history. And it is a business, make no mistake about that. I am not going to tell you what is good or bad, or what you should like. But I think I can make an educated guess about what will get an author a publishing contract. And it is not “true” male dialogue. Romance is still categorized as fiction. “Fiction”, people, to transport the reader and tell a story. And the big publishing houses often have their formulas; this much sex, this much suspense, what kind of HEA. That doesn’t mean you can’t write an original story. But all fiction genres have their “rules”; sci-fi, detective mysteries, horror, etc. And the aim is to appeal to as many people as possible. In the case of romance, that is overwhelmingly women.
Now those of you who want true male dialogue are living in a fortunate time for your tastes. With the advent of e-publishing and self-publishing, you can probably track down those type of books. But I will bet you that they will always be a small niche market and will never hit the bestseller list.
So have I overheard comments like RM wrote in bars? Absolutely. But why in God’s name would I want to read about the everyday dialogue of men or women? If I plop down $7 for a book, it better be a shitload better than I could get at a bar for free and buy a drink with that $7. Did Gina win? Of course she did. And I intend to buy all her books so I can be immersed in her stories. But I will also be here on this blog so RM can make us laugh and give us his male perspective and let us vent. And tell us the “truth”. Hey, you know who really won? We did because we get Gina and RM both.
That was quite eloquent Diane. You stated it perfectly!
Beautifully stated, Diane, my Shero.
Gina, a job well done, given that RM gave you an incredible difficult task, having so many characters in one scene to deal with and having to flesh them out so they all don’t sound alike, and not just a bunch of guys sitting around, grunting….what a whore, what a bitch…etc. etc. Sure that happens in real life, but in real life, if we overheard that from guys we knew, we already would know their weaknesses, their ticks, their personalities.
If we didn’t know them and overheard them in a bar, we’d probably tune out after the first…she was a whore.
With that in mind, though, RM you did do a good job, depicting realistic dialogue, but we know nothing about the characters, or why that scene is even in there. Is it going to move the story along?
Is it giving us insight into any of the characters goal, motivation and conflict?
Is one of your guys talking going to be the hero? If so, he better be redeemable further on in the big.
I think you both did a good job, given that in writing, there is so much to consider, as I said above, goal, motivation, conflict and fleshing our great characters, using action and dialogue and introspection.
Kudos to the two of you, you both put your own voice into a scene, which is really what will make or break a story.
RM if you submitted that scene in a contest, you’d get props for delivering realistic dialogue, however, you’d lose a lot of marks for not giving the reader something more. In between all that dialogue, you would need some action, deep point of view, and a reason for the reader to even care about the main character and/or all characters.
Gina, congrats on your publishing contracts. Will check out your books.
Is there an edit feature? I wasn’t wearing my glasses when I posted the above, and I’m embarrassed at all my typos. Smacks myself hard.
Well said! And thank you, Selena! I hope you like them.
LOL Gina.
After he finished laughing at his idiot friends, he goes to the pool table, grabs two balls and says, “Hey, Lexie asked me to give these back to you.”
There are no heroes Selena. It’s 5 guys at a fucking sports bar. Ok, You are put in timeout on the recipe page.
LOL So why didn’t you just challenge Gina to a joke….Five guys walk into a bar……
The sixth one was still sober enough to duck, and then laugh his ass off at his idiot fucking friends.
Diane, you’re kinda scary when you get like that.
LG, all bark, no bite!
Thank you Skeletor and Selena!
No need to fear Diane. Dolphins are cute. They can jump through hoops and shit.
Dolphins eat fish. Any fish recipes on your little Martha Stewart recipe post?
Fellow blog members: I think the recipe post is just fine. But it is too good of an opportunity not to bust his ass over. No disrespect is meant to the rest of you.
Diane with the atomic elbow off the top rope! I would say more but Manbug has been making margaritas and spelling is becoming difficult and the emoticons are making me angry
.
Drunk Saturday night posting is one of my favorite things. Sadly, I have not been drinking tonight.
When I say “Manbug has been making margaritas”, it should really be “Manbug went to Costco and bought the premixed margarita stuff and poured it over ice”. That stuff is potent plus I am a cheap drunk
.
We should schedule the drinking and posting events in advance so everyone can be prepared.
I’ll drink , uh vote for that ladybug
Diane, are you sure you’re not a writer? That was awesome! Thank you, babe.
And this is why you’re the official Enforcer of the Maxwell Mob. Nobody’ll mess with me as long as I have you around! *mwah!*
You make me want to say I love you but I won’t because I am an alpha male goddammit.
You are swapping recipes.
Alpha males don’t wear baby blue tights. Just saying…
Zinger!!! LOL
IT ISN’T BABY BLUE. it is the colors of the Dallas Cowboys dammit.
Uh, I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan, and the only part of your outfit that matches their colors are your boots and undies.
You know, the undies you’re wearing over your baby blue tights. ;p
I think it is more of a periwinkle blue! Bwahaha.
RM, should of went with the Green and Gold! That’s wY more manly then baby blue!
Sorry kitten but you are wrong. Blue and silver – just like my avatar
Who the hell is kitten?
Hate to tell you this, but there is NO silver in your avi!
You could add some silver glitter and then it would sparkle!
Granny, Gina is kitten and there is too silver. My uniform is blue and silver. Geez granny.
Well, what part is silver? Your underpants? All I see are different shades of blue!
Granny, those lines we thought were his muscles popping out? Well, they must just be silver paint he used on his outfit to give the illusion of being ripped. And I think his swirly fabulous cape has silver in it!
Diane, you are right. So the silver is making him sparkle.
Are you sure you aren’t colorblind, RM? That, my friend, is light blue and navy blue. Remember– I know my colors
.
Spin it any way you want, but those are tights and last I heard, figure skaters wore those, not football players.
You guys suck.
Most of us probably do, but I doubt any husband would complain about it.
LOL.
First, Gina did a great job. Romance is supposed to be fantasy so I don’t want to know what a guy *really* sounds like. It would ruin him as a hero. Second, as a Chicago native, kudos to Gina for not just looking up sports info, but naming a real strip club in the city. I think everyone knows the Admiral. I don’t know that it would be considered high-priced, though.
Shannyn, I didn’t have to look that part up. I lived in the Chicago suburbs for 8 years and my brother-in-law was engaged to an Admiral stripper. That chick was LOOOOOOAAADED! LOL Thanks for the props, girlfriend!
Yep, I think you have it correct. Now I have three brothers and always hung out with guys for the most part, so yeah you got it right. But on the other hand, your second one sounded more like woman, sort of. They would say, “yeah, he’s a dick” or “he was always flirting with me”, BUT one of those woman would probably be texting him offering to “help” him through such a difficult time. Yeah, they would…
So with women, it’s not a sports club but a classy restaurant bar. It’s not five friends, it’s only two. You’re newly single, you don’t need anymore competition than you already have so you call your stable friend that has been in a commited relationship forever and your wild friend that will fuck anything smelling the least bit like testosterone. After listening to the first one tell you the highlight of their week was picking out their new breakfast cereal and then watching your wild friend start out innocently enough talking to a local businessman then after a few hours and a bottle of Jack, you find her in the bathroom with her spaghetti straps down to her elbows flirting with the local transvestite. You think to yourself. “Shit, I hope he calls me next week.”
Great writing Gina, I’m impressed.
And as always, wonderful post RM. I will look forward to see what happens next.
LMAO…omg, Heidi, have you ever seen the movie The Sweetest Thing? It’s my favorite movie of all time and your scene sounds like it could’ve been in there. Classic! If you haven’t seen it, RENT IT!
Thanks Gina, No I haven’t seen it but I’ll try to find it. Good luck with your new book I will definitley download it when it comes out.
I’m watching that movie right now on Oxygen. Never saw it before.
Shannyn If it has a bathroom scene with a trany in it, let me know lol
Almost, but not quite. There are two bathroom scenes. One where a bunch of women are feeling up Christina Applegate’s fake boobs as she tells Cameron Diaz that she’s getting “all bajiggity” about some dude (so funny), and one with a Glory Hole and an exploding urinal (pee-your-pants hysterical)!
Ok, Loved Gina’s writing and would like to read her debut novel. However, I speed read over the baseball crap. Don’t know, don’t care. Lol.
I could see the guys in a bar/sports book saying all that stuff with more alcohol on board.
Also, i grew up around boys/men in a mechanics garage and they actually say things worse then what RM posted. They can also say things nicer than what he said. Just depends on how close the friends are to each other.
I think you both get an A for effort. Thanks for the story Gina, and can’t wait to read your novel. RM you are a hoot and I’m glad i was told about your page.
Thanks Fergie. Wasn’t she the duchess of york?
Hey, watch out who you’re calling Fergie!
. Thats my only friend in Vegas you’re talkin to 
I finally got her on here. YEA!!!
And she will prove to be second to Diane in Bitch Slappin, cuz nobody does it better than that dirty little vixen
Seriously, to describe her in one word –it would be SASSY
Well, then, welcome Duchess!
I like her already.
Thanks, Duchess! I’ll take that A and run with it since I didn’t get many in school. LOL I really hope you like Seducing Cinderella. I’m really proud of it.
Oh, I’m sure everyone will.
Keep them coming.
Duchess, how did you manage to post at exactly the same time 12 hours apart??
11:11 pm and 11:11 am??
You know that is a special time in Numerology?
Two things: (1) I’m a massive Twins fan and LOVE that we’re made to look awesome in Gina’s story, even though we suck donkey balls this season (and last season); and (2) male dialogue usually makes-or-breaks a romance novel for me. If it’s too contrived, I don’t like it. If it’s too real, I don’t like it. I think it’s an amazingly tough balance to make it “real enough” and still advance story and character development. Kudos to Gina and any writer who can do it so well, it never dawns on the reader to stop and think about the realism factor.
Kindle Gal, thank you, and I absolutely agree. There needs to be a balance. I was going through my Twitter followers today to look for possible book reviewers/bloggers and you were in there! If you’re interested in reviewing Seducing Cinderella, let me know!
Fuck that you guys are crazy.
WHAT!!!!!! GINA…..what about me???
and Diane……want to read, want to read!!!
She’s not getting it early, hon! But my publicist needs to know who I want out of the people who make it their business to review books and blog about them to receive copies for review.
Oh yay! Yes, definitely submit a review request to my site. I don’t want to post the link here, but you can find it on my Twitter profile or just DM me and I’ll send it to you. Would love to have a chance at reviewing you!
That was so incredibly funny I can’t thank you enough.
See, I reconize that RM’s dialogue is exactly what men would say (either the first or the second scenario), but damn, is it harsh! I would much rather read Gina’s (well-written and thoughtful), even as I understand it’s not true-to-life. But that’s the whole point of this exercise, isn’t it? To show the dichotomy between what men actually say, and what women think (or hope) men say. Note I didn’t say “think.” I’d love to hear about what men actually think, because I believe it’s a lot deeper than RM’s scenarios.
Thank you, Elisabeth! And that’s an excellent point. Now THAT would be interesting, wouldn’t it? I wouldn’t mind having a mind-reading ability like Mel Gibson in What Women Want for a day or two to spy on the male internal monologue.
That’s why I love the male POV in romance books so much. If I had to choose one or the other, I’ll choose male POV every time. I’m a woman, I KNOW how we think. What I want to “hear” is a man thinking about how crazy (good or bad) the heroine is making him and how, as much as he can’t admit it out loud (yet), he can’t deny how much he wants to be with her, etc and so forth. That to me is the best part of romance books. Totally swoon-worthy stuff.
RM, does this sound familiar to you? Thank you Gina, I’ve been trying to explain to him my love of male POV, and your explanation is spot on!
No, why have you said this to me before?
No, it’s just me talking. Go watch the baby blue wearing pre training camp Dallas Cowboys.
Yes – and I know that men think this way. I am not delusional in thinking this. I also think it’s super sexy to hear a man’s POV.
“I’d love to hear about what men actually think, because I believe it’s a lot deeper than RM’s scenarios.”
You have no idea how wrong you are.
LOL. I have to agree with RM on this one. At least, that is what my husband and our male marriage therapist kept telling me about men. But maybe they just wanted me to stop thinking so they could watch the game!
I think they wanted you to stop talking.
Left myself wide open on that one, didn’t I?
I don’t think it’s the first time you have left yourself wide open.
Go write a recipe with real male dialogue.
You like to make fun of my recipe page. I am the first person in the world to deliver a recipe for pussy.
Exhibit A: I have all kinds of witty ideas for what Manbug can include in his rare comments on here. And what did he say? I agree with RM.
Deep, Manbug, Deep. Thanks for sharing
.
I thought it was. I pondered it for minutes.
We all know why he comments. But I must say that he actually laughed out loud multiple times while reading this post. That’s some big praise because I tease him about his elitist sense of humor.
Glad he laughed. I wish you would start putting out more so he would come on the blog more.
Trust me– he doesn’t post every time he gets laid. I save the sexy lingerie for the posting incentive
.
Hey! Wait a minute? Does this make you my pimp?
Yes
I live with 3 men, and
the male pov I love was all written by women . Gotta go with RM on this one.
Amen sister.
I am just not buying this. I can’t believe that no men think deeply about things that women think about. I REFUSE to believe it.
Gina, I wanted more
I liked Remy to. I don’t know what to say RM I am sure that’s how men talk. It’s a good thing we have romance books to escape to.
Thank you, Kelly.
If you liked Remy, then I think you’ll REALLY love my hero, Reid, in Seducing Cinderella. That man is just amazing on so many levels. LOL
Plus he knows how to shop.
LOL – so true!
Thanks Gina on a hunt for your book
Kelly, it comes out on the 16th this month. You’ll know when it’s available because our very own Remy is throwing me a huge party to celebrate. Right, Remy?!?!
You can also check out my FB fan page for up-to-date news. Search “Gina Leigh Maxwell” and I should pop up!
i am so excitedIcan’t wait thanks Gina i will find you on Facebook
Yes, Gina, I read it too. RM is throwing you a huge celebration party. This is your first published work right? So it should be extra special, the celebration, that is
And didn’t I see where he is supplying strippers 
Yes with strippers
I love a good party !
Everyone said it all already! That was some great writing Gina!! RM’s was scarily true though – had a friend who was telling us about scenario number 2 happening then feeling like shit when they got back together.
Thanks Lucie! Ouch, that had to suck for that guy. Men just don’t think.
Yeah it is very uncomfortable Lucie.
Thank you for starting my Saturday morning with a chuckle! The whole thing was a riot, but especially the last line of the whole blog post RM! So true…
Thanks Angela!
I think both seniarios are more realistic than we think. Men for the most part keep their opinions about other people’s relationships pretty simple, which I don’t necessarily think is a bad thing. We women eventually come to the same conclusion, we just have to sift through a lot of worthless advise to get there.
I agree heidi.
Thanx Lulu!
Ask people their favorite color and a clear majority will say blue. Much of the world is blue (skies, seas). Seeing the color blue actually causes the body to produce chemicals that are calming; but that isn’t true of all shades of blue. Some shades (or too much blue) can send a cold and uncaring message. Many bedrooms are blue because it’s calm, restful color. Over the ages blue has become associated with steadfastness, dependability, wisdom and loyalty (note how many uniforms are blue). People tend to be more productive in a blue room because they are calm and focused on the task at hand. Some studies are showing that weight lifters can lift more weight in a blue gym – in fact, nearly all sports are enhanced in blue surroundings.
So, RM, were you trying to calm the wild BBLs of this blog with all that blue in your uniform? Or were you trying to enhance some sort of *ahem* athletic performance?
OMG, that’s awesome! I say it’s the latter, because he could paint us in blue like the Blue Man Group and it isn’t going to settle THIS group down one iota! LOL
My favorite color has always been blue, and now I know why! Thanks, Ladybug! Also, if I ever get my very own home office to write in, I shall now insist on a blue color scheme for reasons of enhancing my production. Yay!
Ok, but what does it mean that blue is my least favorite color, that I really don’t care for it? (And yes part of that is probably because so many other people like it. I don’t like to follow the crowd.)
And I am asking ladybug for a professional opinion. I am not asking any blue wearing super hero romance blog writers what they think!
It means you’re a lesbian.
Go away. I wasn’t talking to you. I need to know this. Go to your recipe nook and whip up something.
And by your reasoning, if lesbians hate blue and you are wearing blue, oh excuse me, blue and silver, then lesbians must hate you. Why are you about the hatin’ dude?
Lesbians love me and they don’t hate blue – that’s not what I said. I just said the fact that you hate blue means you are a lesbian – follow?
Really, truly? I haven’t followed anything you have said since you started this blog. I’m being paid to humor you. And it’s not enough.
Just what you need, more lesbian hate mail. You started it, my friend.
Why would I get hate mail I like lesbians and you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are. We don’t care you are our friend no matter what
Thanks for having my back. You’re a peach.
HEY! Just would like to add to the general audience that we accept everyone, regardless of sexual tendencies, unless you’re a dipshit, then your sexuality doesn’t matter. No dipshits allowed
After all, one of our favorite writers supports M/M/F/F/M/M/F/F . . and so on.
I love my Chanku! Do you think I can become one with gene therapy??
Lady Godiva I agree love the Chanku !
Diane– According to some people, the dislike of a color can tell you a lot about someone. They say that it can reflect a person’s weakness and vulnerabilities. Who knows? There are colors I just don’t like for no apparent reason. Blue can also create feelings of sadness or aloofness (blue moon, blue Monday, baby blues).
Didn’t you say that red is your favorite color? Valentino said, “Red has guts…deep, strong, dramatic. A geranium red. A Goya red… to be used like gold for furnishing a house… for clothes, it is strong, like black or white.” It is also associated with love, warmth, and comfort. It creates feelings of excitement or intensity. It stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing making time appear to pass faster than it is. Red is the most powerful color because it is the longest wavelength (but not the most visible). This makes it appear nearer than it is and therefore it grabs our attention first.
My wife has a red vibrator, what does that mean?
It means you don’t raise her heart rate enough and she needs a little help with intensity and stimulation
BURN BABY BURN! Did that sting?
I think he got mad and left….
No he probably went to find Lexie and ask her about the vibrator. He’s worried now.
Ladybug. . wht is your education and training in, again?? You are really smart
That’s exactly what she said. Well she “because it’s better than you” pretty much the same
RM, I am no longer a vibrator virgen! My sisters and I had a girls day out (mani/pedis) and our sis in law took us to Lucy’s Love Shop and we all bought vibrators…I was the only one getting my first
…(my brother is a happy man)… I bought 2 to make up for lost time…. a blue “dolphin” and a very interesting pink one 
… we also got our hubbies pocket pussies… for together fun and for when we leave them alone again…
Ewww…. she’s probably having to reassure him
She did – twice
LG– Thank you — you are too sweet. My undergrad was in microbiology with minors in chemistry and Spanish. I worked for a cheese manufacturer for several years making sure that they didn’t kill anyone. As far as I know, I was successful
. I was well on my way to my master’s in micro when job moves and babies happened. I started working part-time with a company that teaches the business applications of the psychology of color a few years ago so that I could get out of my house every once in a while. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up 
.
An old ladybug
Soooo, you are the expert around here on color choices
RM— Bwahahahahaha. Unfortunately– that is probably true
.
LG– that’s a lot of pressure. I don’t know how I feel about that
.
Diane– I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to follow the crowd. I do not own/wear Crocs for the same reason and it took a giant game of literary chicken to force me to read “Fifty Shades of Grey” because everyone else was so wild about it. If the masses get excited about something, I tend to do the opposite. And for what it’s worth, I am not a big fan of blue. Green and orange are my favorite colors.
Hey, I don’t really like to go along with the crowd either. That’s why I like this group, cuz we are a bunch of rogues
My favorite colors are lavender and orange, but not worn together. Hell, who am I kidding, I have worn lavender polka dotted lounging pants with a bright orange top (in the house though). I’m not into matchy matchy.
Blue is okay, but I don’t wear it nor is it part of my decor.
I also like yellow.
IT’S BLUE AND SILVER NOT JUST BLUE. That is really interesting though.
WTF?!?! IT ISN’T BLUE AND SILVER! IT IS LIGHT BLUE AND NAVY BLUE! Do screamy capitals make that any clearer?
Refer to your own color chart. IT.IS.BLUE.AND.SILVER.
Okay– seriously– which parts do you think are silver and which parts are blue? This has gone from funny to scientifically fascinating.
Did it ever occur to you that you are wrong
Everything but the boots and underwear. I can bring on the guy who designed it since you don’t believe me.
Another “guy” designed it. It’s not that we don’t believe that you believe it is silver. It is that you and your guy are wrong.
Uhh… no– it never occurred to me that I could be wrong. Do one of your little FB polls and ask the masses what color the guy’s uniform/costume/whatever is. I bet serious money that the overwhelming majority will say light blue and navy blue.
I think we should bedazzle his tights and boots with some silver.
Remember the discussion the other day about women seeing more colors? If it was silver, it would have a metallic sheen, more like, oh, I don’t know, SILVER!
Ladybug, the Crayola factory is about 50 miles from where I live in PA. We will have Lexie put him on a plane, pick you up, and we will do an emergency color intervention. You are the expert. I will just keep him tied up while you work him over.
Diane– just send me the itinerary and I’m there. This has become a seriously desperate situation. I think he’s delusional (or colorblind
).
I may be delusional but I am not colorblind and it is fucking silver
It isn’t fucking silver or regular silver or any other color of silver. What the hell kind of color is fucking silver anyway?
Tied up and worked over? I married pervert.
According to you, I have no interest in men so what are you worried about?
I am worried that once you see my body you will convert
I’m already Catholic. I don’t need to convert to become a nun and take a vow of abstinence after seeing your body!
That is very interesting! I love the scientific slant. Blue has always been my favorite color. Royal blue, not baby blue. Also the medium shade of purple make me happy
LG– Purple (or violet) is the shortest wavelength. It is usually associated with royalty and conveys an air of dignity. Purples have been used in the care of mental or nervous system disorders because of their calming effect. I love purple– maybe this is why
Ssshhh, don’t tell anyone about my mental condition
So thats why I like purple
Good to know that my subconscience recognizes my value, even if my concienceness is criticizing me! Bad Voice!Bad Voice in head!
This blog makes me feel like I need more sex toys. It don’t have a toolbox full of them and I feel like a bit of an underachiever
I just really like using my new-found emoticons
My wife has a purple dildo what does that mean?
That she likes to feel like she is fucking royalty? That she is the queen? Purple also stimulates the brain activity used in problem solving. So do with that information what you will…..
.
Shhh, ladybug, we don’t talk about his “little” problem.
I totally agree, Gina. What fun would this bunch be if we were sedate and calm?
When (not if– because you’re going to be wildly successful
) you get your own home office, throw a little bright yellow in there as an accent. Yellow stimulates creativity (hence yellow legal pads) and speeds up metabolism. My husband nixed my idea to paint the entire interior of our home yellow 
.
Bwahahaha! And thanks for the tip, I’ll make sure to add yellow.
Sometimes I think you are making this all up.
You wish I was
. What is your favorite color? Blue, perhaps? I bet I can make some freakishly accurate personality assumptions based on your favorite color. Be honest– don’t say MAUVE 
Green.
Chartreuse green?
Seriously? We have the same favorite color? I am completely weirded out. Could we be related?
I wish I had done it in teal to be honest because it ties in with ovarian cancer. At the time I never planned on talking about my sister so I didn’t think of it. I chose SILVER because I am a Dallas fan.
If I cared about the Eagles we would be mortal enemies.
Yeah Green is my favorite color, always has been
Just asking, not criticizing. Why didn’t you do the blog in green? Or teal. Teal would have been great.
yeah, it’s the color of money!
RM, you will have to do a fact search to see if it is true, then come back and admit that ladybug knows her stuff
You guys have been busy today! I have been working and you have been creating laughter and positive energy all around the planet
Thanks 
Any thing interesting at work today? Or routine? Any meerkats?
Refuse to do meercats. Have a person who is authority on meercats say they are mean sons ‘o bitches!. Got a pitbull w/ a nasty infection, owners have to come back when they have $$. If not, we would never get paid.
I tried to add my part of ya’lls conversation this morning. Sigh, no one will see it, cuz you are on to other things now
No I try to go back and reread. Normally when I first pop on in the am.
LG, there is a sanctuary outside San Diego where you must preschedule and register but they allow the meerkats to climb on you, if the meerkat chooses. Someday I must get there and do that. Just to be close to them would be a thrill!
Will ask about it
I am w/in 4 hours driving to San Diego
There’s a lot of purple in your avatar, LG. Very royal– I like it
Thank you! I love that pic. FB has really helped w/ my pic collection
(although it looks blue to me)
Good grief! This blog is like a freaking rabbit hole. Contrary to how it looks– I do have a little bit of a life and occasional responsibilities
.
Not me. I have no life. Attached to the blog like Neo in the Matrix.
That makes one of you ladybug. And I am Neo Diane. You can be the chick that gets killed.
Trinity? Well, she does die but she is tall and thin. I’ll take it!
I just said that to make myself feel better. Manbug is working on my SUV and my babybugs are playing Legos quietly and sweetly together. This is my zen garden
.
I like the Neo analogy, Diane. Very appropriate for me, too
.
I love purple too! It’s the color of the dress I wore to my son’s wedding!
hi Ladybug, Diane, and LG! Oh, you too RM. Quiet here on a Sat afternoon. Just came back from a futile attempt to find Bill a birthday cake. Our favorite bakery was closed. So…my friend and I bought some hand dipped ice cream at ” Beaches and Cream” an ice cream store that just opened. Isn’t that a cute name???
LB I love all shades of blue, my eyes are blue and with my white hair blue usually looks ok one me, purple too.
Hi my Pat!
Pat– did you see what I wrote to LG about purple? It is very royal and conducive to introspection and meditation. Good choice. Blue and purple are great colors to go with white hair.
Hi Pat!
Hi Lady G.
Green– the color of growth (hehehe), nature, and money. It is a calming color that is also very pleasing to the senses. Researchers have found that green can improve reading ability. Some students find that laying a transparent sheet of green paper over reading material increases reading speed and comprehension. Those who have a green work environment experience fewer stomachaches. Green strikes the eye in such a way as to require no adjustment whatever and is therefore restful. It is at the center of the visible spectrum and represents balance for a lot of people. From an evolutionary perspective, we learned to associate it with success– green indicates the presence of water and little danger of famine. It can sometimes be considered too bland or associated with greed or envy.
Some say that if green is your favorite color, you have a deep need to belong, to love and be loved, and to feel safe and secure.
Green and orange are my favorite colors and it is pretty spot-on for me.
Green is also the color for healers. I know a vet that lights a green candle to assist healing a particularly ill patient. Does it work? I don’t know?
I read a study about the benefits of outside play for children. But it also talked about that being outside alone is not enough. Humans need to see “green”. Calms the brainwaves.
Maybe that is why the desert is disturbing to me. No green.
Green is used in hospitals to help calm the patients. It is also the color of fertility– green M&M’s, anyone?
Fucking hilarious.
And, yes, I bet that is how men talk. I have two young adult sons, and I overhear their conversations. One kid talks about baseball and women. The other talks about guns and his girlfriend.
They go into great detail about baseball and guns. Less detail about women.
Great post, Romance Man. You’re still my favorite caped crusader.
Thanks Pam. Haven’t seen you in a while have you been busy writing?
Yes, very busy! Plus I had two book releases — one mid-May and the other on July 3. So an August deadline, plus two book releases. I need TWO clones.
But I love your blog and follow you on Twitter.
Pam I wish you would tell me when you have something come out so I could promote it.
Ronan Keating…..live in concert…..
Sigh…sigh….halleluljah.
[LMFGDAO] <– I added extra curse words for punch.
Oh my God…the whole color thread, with the dildos, and the denial, and the retardedness of it all…I'm dying over here. DY-ING!!! There are tears of laughter. And maybe a little bit of pee in my pants.
P.S. Remy, you're a fucking idiot. And I have a picture that proves it, but I don't know how to post one on here.
P.P.S. Just because you don’t know your colors doesn’t mean I don’t still love you.
My favourite colour is black – what does that say about me (or did you already explain?).
Lucie– nope, haven’t done black yet. Black is the color of authority and power, stability and strength. It is also the color associated with intelligence (doctorate in black robe; black horn-rimmed glasses). It is a somber color sometimes associated with evil (bad guy= black hat). Black is a serious color that evokes very strong emotions. It is also stylish and timeless.
Some people believe that those who prefer black have a need for power and control in order to protect their own emotional insecurities.
I love those shoes!
Thanks LB i do too! Wish they were mine
.
I am insecure unfortunately, not so sure that power and control part
Damn pressed enter by mistake. Not sure the power part fits. Re the hate coloursdo you do those too? I love hearingabout this stuff. I hate brown.
The shoes match my catwoman outfit btw .
Well its waaaaypassed my bedtime. Night all!
Lucie– Experts say that the colors you hate can also tell a lot about your personality. They say that it can reflect a person’s weakness and vulnerabilities. Brown is most associated with reliability, stability, and friendship. But it can also create feelings of sadness and isolation. Words that research subjects have used in relation to brown include: dull, boring, frugal, lack of humor, predictable.
Honestly– there are colors that I just don’t like for whatever reason. A powder blue is one of them. Who knows if that tells the deep, dark secrets of my soul?
I know! I’ll post it on your FB page. Ladies! To the RM page!
OMG, you all have to go over there and look. It is sooo funny!
Wil RM have the balls to go look, then comment???
I think so
I agree that Gina’s dialog was true romance guy talk but that RM’s is a lot more close to what many guys would say. Gina is a great writer and quite frankly, her dialog is more interesting to read. RM’s dialog is typical of a lot of guys, they don’t want to talk about emotions, and when they are talking about getting dumped a lot of the conversations would be grunts, slapping on the back and a number of expletives, and yep, could have the words denigrating the GF to make him feel better.
If I was going to make a suggestion to Gina as an editor or beta reader, it would be to make a major contrast in the dialog. So you have the guys (typical) who when it comes to sports, argue ad finitum about details (my S who is a music geek who also would be a hit in any sports bar in this country with his knowledge of sports and I do this all the time), where they will say “They are bringing in fucking Boone Logan to pitch to David Ortiz? Last several times that loser pitched to that fucking animal the ball went into fucking low orbit and was declared a hazard by NASA”..or “that moron just threw a fucking slider on 3 and 0″ ‘That wasn’t a slider, that was a 2 seam fastball, moron”…….
Meanwhile when it comes to emotional things, like guy breaking up, all the analysis of dung beetle with a lobotomy: “Geez, man, that sucks, what the fuck was the bitch doing?” ‘grunt’, “Dude, welcome to the shitsville waste treatment plant’.
In defense of men (well, at least a weak one), there are guys who do go a bit deeper then that, any guy who has spent time with a shrink talking to a friend who has likewise done it, can go a bit deeper (been there, done that, got the t shirt, threw up on it, etc…). Not quite as elaborate as Gina’s dialog, since you still don’t want to sound like George Will talking about baseball…..
“Dude, you are a fucking dumb ass moron, do you know that? Broad is still crazy about you, you fucking hump, but you don’t see it”
“Asshole, she fucking dumped me like a load of shit after eating too much crappy lettuce, how the fuck can you think the bitch wants me? She probably already is dropping her skank jeans for some low life slime ball who will treat her ‘right’ ie like anything named Kardashian, I fucking think gals want to be treated like shit, look what being nice got me”
“Bro, you fucking are the blindest sack of shit since Jamie Foxx played Ray Charles,I can’t believe you, she obviously wants to be your babe……not surprising, given how fucking clueless you are with everything else”
“Will you please get off the pot and shit, don’t pass go, don’t collect 200 bucks on the way? Fucking starting to think you are doing this until I fucking forget I even was boinking her”
*big burp*. “Okay, dumbass, you want it straight? Yeah, Lexie comes from a family so high toned they use platinum fabric as an oil cleanup cloth and pick their teeth with diamond picks and the fucking Queen of England is on a 4 year waiting list to come for a visit, but ever dawn on you, schmuck, that Lexie ain’t exactly like this? She was fucking over the moon when you guys moved in together, she loved shit like cooking dinner and picking out drapes and having you put them up, ever dawn on you that is one of the reasons she so fucking wanted to go out with you? That maybe she liked you because you weren’t a fucking Mr. Thurston Howell, so uptight if you shoved a telephone pole up their ass it would turn into toothpicks? Or that she liked being able to do ‘normal’ things with you?”
“Ya think?”
“No, shithead, I don’t think, I fucking know. Tell me, why the fuck are you putting all the time at work in? Every time I ask you if you and Lexie been turning the fucking sky jealous at what you do together, you tell me “too tired, been getting home at midnight……why, dipshit?”
“Man, I don’t work the 9 to 5 grind, I am breaking my fucking hump because that is how you get noticed as a lawyer, you never say no and you always when asked to do something suck deeper, work harder…..”
Friend shaking head. “You doing that for her, really? Fucking complete waste of time talking to you, you really are a clueless a-hole, know that”
“Now wait a minute, I am doing it so I can prove myself to Lexie, give her the kind of shit I love giving her, the top end stove, the trip to the Galapagos, to show her how much I love her.”
*Friend punches our hero’s arm* “Dipshit, know what your problem is? You don’t want to hear the fucking truth, your too afraid to hear it…you know fucking well what I am saying…..well, I am going to tell you, and if you want to take a swing at me for saying it, go ahead, I fucking need to feel alive after having to suck up to the dickheads I do at work……You ain’t doing it for her, schmuck, and you sure as hell not doing it for yourself, I have known you since we got detention that time for making rude remarks about the teacher with the big tits in 7th grade, just ain’t you….no, you are doing this to try and make her dad, Chauncey Uppercrust, think your shit doesn’t smell like he thinks his shit doesn’t smell, but shit is shit, it smells,skell or CEO…and friend, not only won’t that fucking work, it has done exactly what the price wanted, for you to drive his daughter right back in the gaping hole that passes for the heart of their ‘family’…
“Ya think?”
“Will you take a swing at me already, doofus? You think I just gave a speech Abraham Lincoln would give if he watched South Park or Family Guy and drank the shit we are drinking for fucking joy? Wake up, shithead, either listen to what I am saying, or fucking take that swing at me. Stop trying to please dear old dad by giving him an ass exam with your head, you got it so far up you are seeing daylight through his mouth, and start pleasing Lexie the way you did when you met”
*Hero Nods, ever so slightly*
“Oh, you finally woke up, Einstein? So what the fuck you going to do about it? Go home and cry in your pillow? Text Lexi and tell her sorry you are…no fuckwad, don’t nod. You are going to do the right thing….you are going to stake out their house, and when Lexi comes out, you are going grab her, give her the biggest fucking kiss you can, and tell her what a fucking moron you have been and tell her if she will give you another chance, she will be so much your life that she probably will have to tell him to go to work”
2 days later
From Hero to Friend “Dude, I think I’m gonna die, my dick is falling off. Went to their house while they were holding some sort of shindig, told her old man to fuck off and die, didn’t give a shit what he thought, grabbed Lexi, bent her over and gave her the tongue, and told her if she could forgive me being a blind ass fool and come back to me, she would see so much of me she would have to tell me to go to work, that all I wanted was her and to fuck with making partner or anything else”
“That worked?”
“That and some prep school douchebag claiming to be her “boyfriend” throwing what he thought was a punch at me and me with one punch knocking him cold right into the chocolate mousse’…..you should have seen the old man, his face was screwed up so tight I thought his teeth were going pop out, specially when Lexi grabbed me and started playing air guitar with my whole fucking body”
“Hu-rah, asshole, you still owe me one, since you been practicing, how bout we go around to one of those bars downtown and have fun with some of the frat boys?”
“Can’t, have to get home, we have a a date to make the sky jealous, to quote a certain fuckwad”
“Pussy Whipped”
“Yep”
“Later”
Okay, embellished a bit, but have had conversations like this:)
NJBill – your mind is in a strange place. That you created all that from what Gina wrote, its just incredible. Not sure this would sell well in a romance book, but it sounded real to me.
And I know Gina would have come up with every word if RM had given her the TIME for the creativity!
Thanks, LG! Your confidence in me is touching! Yeah, I think I definitely would have done better, but I wouldn’t have come out with what NJB did. It might be a little rough for a romance, but with a few minor changes, that could totally work.
Gina-
You have me beat 6 ways to Sunday with writing, I tried to write a story the other say, a satire, and it came out like a New Yorker article, 20 million pages of writing that by the time you finish it, you forget why you read it:).
LG-
My mind is definitely in a strange place, my wife would totally agree, she said it is like someone took an encyclopedia and threw it in a blender and that is what you get with me, snippets of clarity along with a lot of “WTF” statements *lol*
OMFG! I concede to the master. NJBill wins!!!! And uh, I MAY have fallen for the friend in all of that. I will now be looking to you when I can’t get my guy thoughts right. Thanks so much for that post. You totally, totally win.
The friend is based on someone I knew, one of the more interesting people around…..kind of guy if you saw him passing on the street (bald guy, with the leather jacket and chains, with the words “Fuck the World’ painted on the back) you would want to cross the street, but if you got to know him was a hell of a person…self educated,mind like a steel bear trap, his philosophy was the world was going to screw itself into the ground and he was going to sit back and watch it do it, but he also was a really nice guy deep down. Bit different outlook then me (I am a cynical optimist), but he rocked.
Thats the kind of person that I would acknowledge on the street (unless I’m in a really bad area), just because so many people would totally ignore him.
Wow, njbill, just Wow…..
Loved this. You definitely win, Gina. RM, you suck. Again. But you knew that.
NJBill, I actually loved your commentary. You struck the right balance there of talking about the emotions while still telling it in a way a man would listen (hopefully). I agree with Gina – you win.
And LG – love your colour commentary. I look good in red clothing, my favourite colour is green, but I have blue accents all over my house.
Did you do yellow already?
Thanks, mylilypad!
Mylilypad– I am thinking you meant LB about the color stuff
. I haven’t done yellow yet so here goes….. Drumroll, please…..
Yellow is the color associated with laughter, happiness, and good times. A person surrounded by yellow feels optimistic because the brain actually releases more seratonin (feel good chemical in the brain). Be careful with yellow– when it is intense, studies have shown that babies cry more. Tempers flare more around bright yellow. Yellow can also speed up your metabolism (yay!) and bring out creativity.
Oh, and did you notice my avi is a purple frog?
love your avi, Kermie
I think that frog is adorable. Purple is one of my favorite colors. I can’t wear purple (I love it, it hates me
). So I tend to have purple purses, wallets, shoes. I just keep it away from my face.
The heat wave finally broke and we go off on a bike ride and I missed all the fun. You guys had me lol-ing my ass off!
Gina, the color chart was awesome!
My fav color is all the shades of purple. My craft room is 2different shades of lavender.
just to finish the story:
Remy crashed into the house, barely making it to the couch. Andy’s last words before he shoved him out of the car was ‘no drunk dialin, asshole.’ Course, when did Remy ever listen to Andy. He pulled his cellphone out and dialed Lexi.
“What?”
“What the f–! What happened to your voicemail?”
“Why do you keep calling? It’s over, douchebag.”
“Douchebag? Last week I was your personal pocket pussy.”
Lexi laughed.
“See, I still make you laugh, sweetheart. Just come home.”
“Oh, Remy.”
“You told me I was the only guy you wanted to father your children. You said–”
“Yeah. Well, here’s tomorrow’s headlines. I WAS WRONG. Unlike you, I can admit it.”
“But, Lexi, what did I do wrong?”
“Oh my God!”
“That’s what you used to say when we made love.”
“Yeah? Well, that’s what I say now when I use my purple vibrator.”
“You use a vibrator? What the hell for?”
“For when you’re never home! Which is like always. It’s all money with you. I can’t take this over and over.”
“No! Look, we need a house. We need food. We need a car. That’s all this job is about. Survival, baby.”
Lexie sighed.
“Listen, sweetheart. I gotta confession to make.”
“Now what?”
“I’ve been reading.”
“What? Milk cartons? Are you trying to find yourself?”
“No, dammit. I’m reading some of those romances you’ve got hidden in the closet.”
“I’m not hiding them. Those are my keepers.”
“Keepers? You can keep them but not me?”
“Why the hell are you reading my books?”
“I was bored.”
“I know the feeling.”
“Lexie. Anyway, one day you were out and I picked one up and, you know, it wasn’t bad.”
“Which one?”
“It was the one where the guy is substituing his penis for a motorcycle…or was it a bicycle. Hell, I don’t remember. Anyway, there was a lot of crap in them, like guys wouldn’t do or say these things, but the stories weren’t bad.”
“Are you bullshitting me?”
“No! Seriously, they weren’t bad. Anyway, I was thinking. Maybe I should do reviews of them – real ones where I point out how realistic or downright goofey they are. Maybe start a website or something.”
“Huh. You know, that’s not a bad idea. I wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t a need for something like that.”
“Exactly. But, now, well, forget it.”
“Why? Are you stupid? It’s actually a decent idea.”
“Yeah, but I couldn’t do it without you.”
“That’s true. You can barely eat cereal without me.”
“Exactly. I can’t do shit without you, honey.”
“Then why do you drive me crazy?”
“All I know is I love you, baby. I need you. I can’t make it without you.”
“That’s a freakin song, douchebag.”
“It’s the only words I know. Lexi, please? I’m begging.”
“Are you on your knees? If not, assume the position.”
Remy leaned back and got comfortable on the couch.
“Whatever you say, darlin.”
BWAHHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WOW! That was really impressive, Trudy. And hilarious
.
Trudy, that was awsome!
Trudy! thats awesome! great start to my day!
Trudy, that was just… WOW.
Trudy, good one! This story may turn into a novella.
Trudy that was great!
Checking in quickly after my realllly looooooong hot and steamy marathon. Hope you are all having a great Sunday. Checking out to finish reading Pamela Clare’s Defiant. Selena’s book should be up next.
I also really want to read Remy’s story…lol. RM, do guys really talk like that, honestly? And I really think I want to read Trudy’s story..lol.