HOLY SHIT THIS BOOK IS GOOD!
Two years ago Allie was raped by her best friend. This rape causes so much emotional damage to Allie that once a month she goes to a club picks out the guy she thinks will treat her the worst and fucks him. She isn’t into dating or relationships she just wants to be fucked and treated like shit because she believes that is what she deserves and also to remind herself what men really are. She wants a monthly reminder that saying “no” to a man means nothing. The rape also results in a pregnancy and Allie is now the mother of a two year old little girl – a good mother.
One night she picks a guy named Colin who refuses to treat her badly and instead acts like he cares about her. This causes all kinds of mixed emotions for Allie but before long she and Colin are in a relationship.
Colin isn’t exactly an upstanding citizen and is pretty screwed up himself. He’s fucked up, she’s fucked up, his family is fucked up, her friend is fucked up, everyone is fucked up – it’s like a character study in fuckedupedness.
Before long Colin takes complete control of Allie but not in a “where the fuck were you last night” sort of way but in a “let me know when you go out so I can make sure you are ok” sort of way. The interesting thing about that to me is this loss of control is exactly what Allie needs at the time. For the first time in her life the weight of the world is not on her shoulders and she actually feels free. I thought Amber Lin did a great job with that because it is one of my favorite themes and something you don’t see often but is very true. Sometimes giving up control can be liberating.
This book is listed as BDSM but it really isn’t – at least not in the traditional sense. Allie doesn’t really like rough sex but needs it as a reminder and Colin doesn’t really want to hurt her but wants to give her what she needs. Because of this the sex scenes aren’t really about sex but about character development and a window into Allies very tortured soul.
Amber Lin is an incredible writer and there is so much more to this book. It has suspense, mystery and some romance. This is the first romance novel I read where I had no idea what was going to happen. I didn’t even know if the hero and heroine would end up together or not.
I love flawed heroines and Allie is as flawed as it gets and I really liked the way Amber Lin wrote her character. Allie doesn’t have any ambitions or desires for success because she is so tortured and damaged she can’t possibly think beyond tomorrow. Plus she has such a low opinion of herself that she doesn’t believe she deserves any success or anything good in her life for that matter.
If you like alpha males you are going to love Colin because he is as alpha as it gets. Amber Lin did a great job with his character as well, especially the dialogue – it was real male dialogue which is to say he didn’t talk much which actually added to his character development.
I am a novice romance reader and I have not read nearly as many romance books as all of you who will read this but I know what I like and I know a good book and this is one of the best books I have read in a while. I really think you will like it.