First, thank you to all of you for the kind comments and emails you have sent. I am still on hiatus and won’t be back for a little while but I wanted to make this post. When I’m back I promise to get back to normal and write something really stupid.
To this day one thing my wife keeps asking me is “what the hell made you buy and read a romance novel”? The reason she keeps asking is because it is so unlike me. I am the last man anyone would expect to read romance so when she asks I simply answer that I don’t know because I don’t. I have no idea what made me follow a link to Jessica Scott’s website and buy her book and actually read it. And what I did next is even weirder I emailed Jessica and told her I liked her book. I have never emailed a person I don’t know in my entire life it just isn’t my personality. What is even stranger than that is that email led to a completely unexpected friendship which led me to this blog which led me to all of you and many new friendships. The whole chain of events is still so strange to me and I still ask myself “what made me buy that book?”
When I started this blog I never intended to talk about my sister. Ever. It was too painful and too personal and I didn’t want to talk about it. My brothers and I never discuss her and even my wife and I rarely did. I know what you’re thinking “talking about your sister is too personal but talking about your wife sitting on your face isn’t”? I know but it is a different kind of personal.
This month for some reason my wife and I have been talking about my sister a lot for the firs time. For me it has been a curse and a blessing. A curse because, being sober, it is almost like living through her death for the first time. The pain is awful. It is a blessing because despite the pain I feel a little better for some reason and the internal rage I have been feeling for a longtime is subsiding. But this week the rage fully surfaced and I was mess. That is when I wrote the blog about my sister.
The next day I received an email from Jessica with a subject line “idea”. She suggested that I start a charity to raise money for ovarian cancer and she outlined an idea she had based on what Brenda Novak does for diabetes research. I showed my wife Jessica’s email and we talked about it and my wife and I thought it was a great idea. My wife is one of those annoying types who when she decides to do something doesn’t stop until it’s done. She started researching and reading and came across the University of Pennsylvania website about ovarian cancer research. They are doing great work on early detection tests as well as vaccine research. The problem with ovarian cancer is that there is no way to test for it. With breast cancer we can tell women to get their mammograms and teach them how to do self exams and such but with ovarian cancer you can’t do those things. The only symptoms for ovarian cancer are things like heavy bleeding during your period or bloating but these are things that women experience during their period anyway so they aren’t going to run to the doctor every time they have a heavy period. Even so by the time even those symptoms are showing it is usually too late. The only way to defeat ovarian cancer is with early detection or some kind of vaccine. That is why we have decided that we want to raise money for the University of Pennsylvania.
We are going to start a charity that will be run from our website and it will be similar to what Brenda Novak is doing with her auction house. The problem is it will take a while and we won’t have it done by September which is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month but it will happen. In the meantime I am going to put a tab on this site that links directly to them so people can make donations. Now Brenda Novak is a big time author with big time friends so it is unlikely we can do anything on that scale and the fact is the content of my site will scare off a lot of potential donators. But I have met quite a few authors who I think will help and I am going to ask Sue Grimshaw for help since she is powerful and knows everyone in the industry. I know what you are thinking but I have to start sucking up to her now because I haven’t asked her for help yet. I am going to do my best to turn this into something that raises money and awareness because the fact is 16,000 women a year die from this and all of them have someone who loves them the way I loved my sister.
My wife and I are very grateful to Jessica for her friendship and for giving us this idea and we are very grateful to all of the BBL’s for the love and kindness you have shown us and I know you will help us. I can’t bring my sister back but maybe we can make sure other sisters, daughters and mothers don’t have to leave their families way before it is time. The rage is almost gone and I have a feeling of hope and excitement and I feel like I have something important to do and I finally know why I bought that book.